alone
i am home alone, again. jamie went to tally with his sis and her bf. i dont know what he is doing or who he is with or really where he is. i just know he is in that city, suppossedly. my parents went to bikefest and my mom was about drunk. she is always that way when she isnt working. anyway... dylan is out with alex, my cousin. and i am home alone. all my friends are at bikefest. i dont want to go anyway cause i cant really have any fun there but still. i dont even have anyone to talk to on the phone. i tried calling jamies house to see if he is home yet but the line is busy everytime i call so whatever. ill probably go to bed pretty soon since i dont have anything to do. i miss having a life. but itll all come back to me once i have the baby. ill have the baby to love and take care of and jamie and i will be closer and i will be able to do more as far as stuff. right now i have to be so careful with what i drink and eat and inhale and pick up and do physically. but ill have plenty to do once the baby gets here and ill be able to improve upon myself like i want to physically and feature wise. you know as far as losing weight and tats and hair dye and things like that. so... just a little longer and everything will get better. especially once i graduate and turn 18 and move out and all. yep. well...thats all i really have to say. i think i might be going to church this sunday. i havent been since our pastor stepped down. it will be weird not having him there. we have just been having sub pastors come and preach. so... i dont know who will be preaching. jamie has to work this sunday so i can go to church without blowing him off. ouch! the baby just pushed really hard from the inside of me. right above my right pelvis bone. it really does hurt sometimes. sometimes it feels like the baby is trying to rip me open or something. well thats all. i still love jamie. we just need some alone time i guess and we are getting it. especially me cause i am home alone and he hasnt even bothered to call and tell me what he is doing. thats okay though... yeah. its okay. k. later.-Ash