Interlude 2: When Good Walks Go Bad
A nice, happy interlude between missions--no fandom knowledge required! Well, okay, maybe SOME is required. You just need to understand that Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, hates being called "short". Or "small". Or "tiny". Or any other such synonyms. And this character trait apparently carried over to his minis.
Disclaimer: The PPC belongs to Jay and Acacia. Singsong, Joyce, Brenden, and Anjilly are mine. Agents Library and JF belong to julyflame, and Agents Trojie and Pads belong to agenttrojie and tea_fiend respectively, who kindly let me borrow them for a cameo. (Well, okay, Trojie technically gave me permission to use Pads...and technically they're only MENTIONED, they don't actually show up...) Any candy mentioned belongs to its respective producer. Star Wars and everything having to do with it belongs to George Lucas. Fullmetal Alchemist belongs to Hiromu Arakawa. I think that covers everything...
This interlude is set sometime in May 2008, shortly after Joyce and Singsong had their third mission together and Agent July snapped in action and disappeared. Many, many thanks to JulyFlame for betaing....and for putting up with my taking FOREVER to post this. XD
“I don’t see why I have to come with you,” Singsong complained as she and Joyce walked down the hallway, following their mini-chimeras. “You seem to be doing just fine watching them on your own.”
“It isn’t watching them that I’m afraid of,” Joyce answered, nodding at All and FullMetal. “It’s other agents that I’m afraid of.”
"...Why?”
“Because, Singsong,” Joyce sighed, “I’m an ex-Sue. And I don’t feel like getting skewered by any agents who think otherwise.”
“But…you’re an agent.”
“An ex-Sue agent.”
“But…you’re still an agent.”
Joyce groaned. “Yes, but I was a Sue, and seeing as basically everyone working here has this thing about killing Sues, I tend to worry about my survival, you know?”
“I don’t see why you have to worry so much,” Singsong shrugged, unwrapping a Kit-Kat bar. “Everyone here’s pretty understanding and accepting. No one really cares.”
“Singsong, you do realize that that whole macrovirus epidemic was begun by two Sues posing as ex-Sue agents, right?”
“Yeah…”
“So, after that fiasco, there’s a good chance that a lot of people are feeling especially wary now.”
“But…you’re an agent.”
Joyce groaned, wondering why she’d been paired up with such a clueless partner. She got an answer from the voices coming from farther up the hallway.
“I’m just saying, Anj! The kriffing Suethor had Sueified Aayla Secura! Aayla Secura! And you didn’t expect me to go ballistic on the author wraith?”
“Look, Brenden, I know Aayla’s your LO, but firing several blaster packs’ worth of ammo into an author wraith doesn’t exactly do much…”
“It dissipated the thing, didn’t it? And how come I’m not allowed to protect my LO, yet whenever someone bastardizes Envy, you’re allowed to go into a frenzied rage?”
“I-I-it isn’t frenzied!”
Right, Joyce remembered. That was why she was stuck with Singsong. Brenden and Anjilly had been playing matchmaker. Or partnermaker, or whatever.
“It always looks like a frenzy to me,” Brenden was saying as he and Anj approached.
“It’s a controlled frenzy!” Anjilly exclaimed. “Controlled! You just randomly shoot things! Oh, hi Joyce!”
“Don’t try to change the subj-oh, hey Joyce, Dingdong.”
“Singsong,” Singsong scowled.
“Fancy meeting you here!” Anj smiled, obviously meaning to take the subject change as far as it could go. “What’re you two up to?”
“Just out for a walk,” Joyce answered. She glanced worriedly at Singsong and Brenden, who seemed to be in an extremely intense staring contest. Anj noticed as well, but looked less worried about the situation and more relieved that her partner had been distracted.
“Walk?” Anj repeated. “That’s nice. Brenden and I are on our way to DoSAT.” She held out a blackened piece of metal and wires. Joyce stared at it.
“What in the worlds is that?”
“It was a CAD,” Anj grimaced.
“I told her not to point it at Obi-Wan,” Brenden said, tearing his gaze away from Singsong to look at his partner. “It was obvious he couldn’t touch canon with a long pole when he started kissing Aayla! But does she listen to me? No-o-o!”
“Well, why would anyone listen to you, Sanderson?” Singsong jabbed. “Your voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard.”
“Same goes for your face, Dingdong.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“You don’t make any sense.”
“Shut up, Sanderson.”
“You shut up, Dingdong.”
“You really need to work on your comebacks, instead of just repeating everything I say.”
While Brenden considered his next choice of words, Joyce interjected, “Say, have you two seen our minis yet?”
“Minis?” Anj repeated. “You have minis?”
“Yeah, a pair of mini-chimeras,” Joyce said, looking up and down the hallway. “All! FullMetal!” There was some scampering, and the two minis in question came bounding around a corner. “There you are!” Joyce beamed.
“Aw, they’re adorable!” Anj gushed, kneeling down to pet the minis. “I’m assuming the armadillo-cat is All.”
“Well, yeah,” Joyce nodded.
“That thing ate all our bleeprin,” Singsong grumbled. “It’s addicted to the stuff.”
“Like you’re one to talk, Dingdong,” Brenden snorted, watching as she poured a bag of Skittles into her mouth.
“Shut up, Sanderson.”
“Heh, FullMetal’s part dog,” Anj snickered. “Figures.”
“I can’t tell what the rest of him is, though,” Joyce said. Anj looked the mini over.
“I think it looks like a Tasmanian devil. Nasty creatures.”
“His front right and hind left legs are automail, too,” Joyce pointed out.
“Yeah, I noticed,” Anj said as she stood up. “Neat.”
Brenden was scrutinizing FullMetal. “That’s an exceptionally mini mini,” he observed.
At the time, it all seemed to happen in slow motion, but looking back, Joyce realized it must’ve only been a few seconds. FullMetal launched into the air with an angry growl and plastered himself to Brenden’s face. The agent fell, screaming and clawing at the mini, Singsong started laughing hysterically, and Anjilly watched with an exasperated expression. Joyce immediately grabbed FullMetal and attempted to pry him off of Brenden’s face.
“FullMetal!” she shouted. “Bad! Bad mini!”
At the word “mini”, the mini-chimera growled even more fiercely.
“Bad chimera!” Joyce tried. “Bad! Get off him! Right now!”
On the floor, Brenden was thrashing about in a panic. “Get it off! Get it off!”
“Serves you right for existing, Sanderson!” Singsong cackled.
“FullMetal! Off!” Joyce ordered, still pulling at the chimera. At this point, though, the mini was beyond reason. She glanced around for help. Singsong was laughing manically and probably wouldn’t bother raising a finger to come to Brenden’s aid. Anj, meanwhile, was bleakly watching her partner’s predicament before turning around to greet a pair of agents who happened to be walking down the hallway.
“Hi Library, July. How’s it going?”
“Um…fine?” Library answered, staring at Brenden.
“That’s good to hear,” Anj said. “How’ve you guys been? Last time I saw you was during that 1984 mission you dragged us in to help with.”
“Oh, yes, that,” Library nodded. “Feels like ages ago. I’ve been alright, I suppose.”
“That’s good. Glad someone’s having a relatively sane-wait…” Anjilly peered closer at Library’s partner. “That’s not July, is it?”
“AAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!” Brenden was screaming. “GET IT OFF!!!”
“I’m trying!” Joyce shouted. “FullMetal, please!”
“Grrrrrrrrrrrowf!”
“Stupid chimera,” Joyce grumbled. Granted, that didn’t really help things much.
“OWOWOWOWOWOW!”
“This is better than television,” Singsong remarked.
“This is JulyFlame, or JF,” Library was explaining to Anj. “She’s…an old avatar of July’s.”
“Hi,” JF said brightly. Anj blinked.
“But…where’s July?”
“Get it off!” Brenden shrieked. “GET IT OFF!”
“FullMetal!” Joyce snapped, now pulling earnestly at the mini, who was clinging to Brenden’s head as tightly as possible. “Bad chimera! Get off now!” She thought over her options. Singsong was still laughing and wouldn’t be much help. Anj was engaging those other agents in conversation to ignore the problem, and the self-preserving part of Joyce was glad her friend was distracting them. The last thing she wanted was to be killed while she was too busy to defend herself. Still, it meant that there was one less person to help Brenden.
“Pity we gave byFirst Lieutenant RizaHawkeye(currently peeling an apple) to Trojie and Pads,” she grunted. “I bet he’d listen to her. Heck, Hawkeye is probably one of the few people Edward Elric would listen-” She broke off as she came upon a brilliant realization, and turned to the only option she had left. “All, get up here and make your brother calm down.”
“And now July’s missing and no one knows where she is.” Library finished.
“No one knows?” Anjilly repeated.
“No one.”
“Is there any chance she could be going flamethrower-crazy somewhere in HQ?” Anj asked, looking terrified. “Should we get back to our RCs and lock the doors?” Library shook her head.
“I don’t think that’s necessary. I think she actually left the building.”
Anj blinked. “Left the building?”
“Yes.”
“You can do that?”
“There’s life outside HQ!”
All was working his brotherly magic on FullMetal, meowing pleadingly. Brenden was still flailing under the mini’s attack.
“Brenden, you have to calm down!” Joyce told him. “Just stop moving and this could all end faster, okay?”
“Keep moving!” Singsong laughed.
“Pay no attention to her,” said Joyce, wondering what had gotten into her partner.
“Like I ever do!” Brenden snapped, slowly calming down. “Okay Joyce, I’m calming down, see?” He was only squirming a little now. “Now hurry up and get your blasted-YEEOOOWWWCH!!!” The moment he’d completely stopped moving, FullMetal had clawed at the man’s head even harder. All growled reproachfully at his brother. “GET IT OFF!!!”
“So no one even knows if she’s okay or not?” Anj asked Library.
“No.”
“Wow,” Anj said again. She looked at JF. “And you two are working together now?”
“Mm-hmm,” Library nodded.
“Is this normal?” JF asked, gesturing to Brenden.
“Unfortunately, yes,” Anj sighed. “I need to get to DoSAT,” she grumbled, looking at her ruined CAD.
“We’re going that way…at least, I think DoSAT is on the way to the cafeteria,” Library said.
“Oh?” Anj asked, sensing an opportunity. “Want to walk together?”
“Sure. Why not?”
“It’s been great Joyce, Singsong!” Anj called over her shoulder as she and the other two left. “‘Fraid I have to go now, though! Later!”
“Wait! You forgot your partner!” Joyce shouted as All managed to coerce FullMetal into letting go. Anjilly merely waved as she rounded a corner with Library and JF. On the floor, Brenden groaned and laid still.
“Is he dead?” Singsong asked eagerly. Joyce looked at her partner oddly.
“No.”
“Drat,” Singsong sighed. “Well, at least he got mauled.” She scooped FullMetal up in a hug, the first time Joyce ever remembered her doing so. “FullMetal, you’re the best chimera in the whole world, you know that?”
All meowed disapprovingly at the attention his brother’s ego was getting.
“Brenden’s bleeding,” Joyce said, carefully touching the agent’s mercifully mini-chimera-free face.
“Really? Is there a chance he’ll die of bloodloss?”
Joyce rolled her eyes. “No, Singsong. There isn’t.”
“Pity.”
“So…what do we do now?”
“Kill him?” Singsong suggested. “Leave him here for BM to find? I know certain ones among them would certainly like to skin him alive…”
“No, Singsong. We aren’t just going to leave him here, alright?”
“Fine, fine,” Singsong sighed. “Take away all my…fun…” She trailed off, a light coming into her eyes.
“Singsong?” Joyce asked worriedly, wondering what sort of vile plan her partner had now.
“I suppose there’s only one thing we can do, if he’s hurt,” Singsong smirked.
“What’s that?”
“Take him to Medical.”
Disclaimer: The PPC belongs to Jay and Acacia. Singsong, Joyce, Brenden, and Anjilly are mine. Agents Library and JF belong to julyflame, and Agents Trojie and Pads belong to agenttrojie and tea_fiend respectively, who kindly let me borrow them for a cameo. (Well, okay, Trojie technically gave me permission to use Pads...and technically they're only MENTIONED, they don't actually show up...) Any candy mentioned belongs to its respective producer. Star Wars and everything having to do with it belongs to George Lucas. Fullmetal Alchemist belongs to Hiromu Arakawa. I think that covers everything...
This interlude is set sometime in May 2008, shortly after Joyce and Singsong had their third mission together and Agent July snapped in action and disappeared. Many, many thanks to JulyFlame for betaing....and for putting up with my taking FOREVER to post this. XD
“I don’t see why I have to come with you,” Singsong complained as she and Joyce walked down the hallway, following their mini-chimeras. “You seem to be doing just fine watching them on your own.”
“It isn’t watching them that I’m afraid of,” Joyce answered, nodding at All and FullMetal. “It’s other agents that I’m afraid of.”
"...Why?”
“Because, Singsong,” Joyce sighed, “I’m an ex-Sue. And I don’t feel like getting skewered by any agents who think otherwise.”
“But…you’re an agent.”
“An ex-Sue agent.”
“But…you’re still an agent.”
Joyce groaned. “Yes, but I was a Sue, and seeing as basically everyone working here has this thing about killing Sues, I tend to worry about my survival, you know?”
“I don’t see why you have to worry so much,” Singsong shrugged, unwrapping a Kit-Kat bar. “Everyone here’s pretty understanding and accepting. No one really cares.”
“Singsong, you do realize that that whole macrovirus epidemic was begun by two Sues posing as ex-Sue agents, right?”
“Yeah…”
“So, after that fiasco, there’s a good chance that a lot of people are feeling especially wary now.”
“But…you’re an agent.”
Joyce groaned, wondering why she’d been paired up with such a clueless partner. She got an answer from the voices coming from farther up the hallway.
“I’m just saying, Anj! The kriffing Suethor had Sueified Aayla Secura! Aayla Secura! And you didn’t expect me to go ballistic on the author wraith?”
“Look, Brenden, I know Aayla’s your LO, but firing several blaster packs’ worth of ammo into an author wraith doesn’t exactly do much…”
“It dissipated the thing, didn’t it? And how come I’m not allowed to protect my LO, yet whenever someone bastardizes Envy, you’re allowed to go into a frenzied rage?”
“I-I-it isn’t frenzied!”
Right, Joyce remembered. That was why she was stuck with Singsong. Brenden and Anjilly had been playing matchmaker. Or partnermaker, or whatever.
“It always looks like a frenzy to me,” Brenden was saying as he and Anj approached.
“It’s a controlled frenzy!” Anjilly exclaimed. “Controlled! You just randomly shoot things! Oh, hi Joyce!”
“Don’t try to change the subj-oh, hey Joyce, Dingdong.”
“Singsong,” Singsong scowled.
“Fancy meeting you here!” Anj smiled, obviously meaning to take the subject change as far as it could go. “What’re you two up to?”
“Just out for a walk,” Joyce answered. She glanced worriedly at Singsong and Brenden, who seemed to be in an extremely intense staring contest. Anj noticed as well, but looked less worried about the situation and more relieved that her partner had been distracted.
“Walk?” Anj repeated. “That’s nice. Brenden and I are on our way to DoSAT.” She held out a blackened piece of metal and wires. Joyce stared at it.
“What in the worlds is that?”
“It was a CAD,” Anj grimaced.
“I told her not to point it at Obi-Wan,” Brenden said, tearing his gaze away from Singsong to look at his partner. “It was obvious he couldn’t touch canon with a long pole when he started kissing Aayla! But does she listen to me? No-o-o!”
“Well, why would anyone listen to you, Sanderson?” Singsong jabbed. “Your voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard.”
“Same goes for your face, Dingdong.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“You don’t make any sense.”
“Shut up, Sanderson.”
“You shut up, Dingdong.”
“You really need to work on your comebacks, instead of just repeating everything I say.”
While Brenden considered his next choice of words, Joyce interjected, “Say, have you two seen our minis yet?”
“Minis?” Anj repeated. “You have minis?”
“Yeah, a pair of mini-chimeras,” Joyce said, looking up and down the hallway. “All! FullMetal!” There was some scampering, and the two minis in question came bounding around a corner. “There you are!” Joyce beamed.
“Aw, they’re adorable!” Anj gushed, kneeling down to pet the minis. “I’m assuming the armadillo-cat is All.”
“Well, yeah,” Joyce nodded.
“That thing ate all our bleeprin,” Singsong grumbled. “It’s addicted to the stuff.”
“Like you’re one to talk, Dingdong,” Brenden snorted, watching as she poured a bag of Skittles into her mouth.
“Shut up, Sanderson.”
“Heh, FullMetal’s part dog,” Anj snickered. “Figures.”
“I can’t tell what the rest of him is, though,” Joyce said. Anj looked the mini over.
“I think it looks like a Tasmanian devil. Nasty creatures.”
“His front right and hind left legs are automail, too,” Joyce pointed out.
“Yeah, I noticed,” Anj said as she stood up. “Neat.”
Brenden was scrutinizing FullMetal. “That’s an exceptionally mini mini,” he observed.
At the time, it all seemed to happen in slow motion, but looking back, Joyce realized it must’ve only been a few seconds. FullMetal launched into the air with an angry growl and plastered himself to Brenden’s face. The agent fell, screaming and clawing at the mini, Singsong started laughing hysterically, and Anjilly watched with an exasperated expression. Joyce immediately grabbed FullMetal and attempted to pry him off of Brenden’s face.
“FullMetal!” she shouted. “Bad! Bad mini!”
At the word “mini”, the mini-chimera growled even more fiercely.
“Bad chimera!” Joyce tried. “Bad! Get off him! Right now!”
On the floor, Brenden was thrashing about in a panic. “Get it off! Get it off!”
“Serves you right for existing, Sanderson!” Singsong cackled.
“FullMetal! Off!” Joyce ordered, still pulling at the chimera. At this point, though, the mini was beyond reason. She glanced around for help. Singsong was laughing manically and probably wouldn’t bother raising a finger to come to Brenden’s aid. Anj, meanwhile, was bleakly watching her partner’s predicament before turning around to greet a pair of agents who happened to be walking down the hallway.
“Hi Library, July. How’s it going?”
“Um…fine?” Library answered, staring at Brenden.
“That’s good to hear,” Anj said. “How’ve you guys been? Last time I saw you was during that 1984 mission you dragged us in to help with.”
“Oh, yes, that,” Library nodded. “Feels like ages ago. I’ve been alright, I suppose.”
“That’s good. Glad someone’s having a relatively sane-wait…” Anjilly peered closer at Library’s partner. “That’s not July, is it?”
“AAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!” Brenden was screaming. “GET IT OFF!!!”
“I’m trying!” Joyce shouted. “FullMetal, please!”
“Grrrrrrrrrrrowf!”
“Stupid chimera,” Joyce grumbled. Granted, that didn’t really help things much.
“OWOWOWOWOWOW!”
“This is better than television,” Singsong remarked.
“This is JulyFlame, or JF,” Library was explaining to Anj. “She’s…an old avatar of July’s.”
“Hi,” JF said brightly. Anj blinked.
“But…where’s July?”
“Get it off!” Brenden shrieked. “GET IT OFF!”
“FullMetal!” Joyce snapped, now pulling earnestly at the mini, who was clinging to Brenden’s head as tightly as possible. “Bad chimera! Get off now!” She thought over her options. Singsong was still laughing and wouldn’t be much help. Anj was engaging those other agents in conversation to ignore the problem, and the self-preserving part of Joyce was glad her friend was distracting them. The last thing she wanted was to be killed while she was too busy to defend herself. Still, it meant that there was one less person to help Brenden.
“Pity we gave byFirst Lieutenant RizaHawkeye(currently peeling an apple) to Trojie and Pads,” she grunted. “I bet he’d listen to her. Heck, Hawkeye is probably one of the few people Edward Elric would listen-” She broke off as she came upon a brilliant realization, and turned to the only option she had left. “All, get up here and make your brother calm down.”
“And now July’s missing and no one knows where she is.” Library finished.
“No one knows?” Anjilly repeated.
“No one.”
“Is there any chance she could be going flamethrower-crazy somewhere in HQ?” Anj asked, looking terrified. “Should we get back to our RCs and lock the doors?” Library shook her head.
“I don’t think that’s necessary. I think she actually left the building.”
Anj blinked. “Left the building?”
“Yes.”
“You can do that?”
“There’s life outside HQ!”
All was working his brotherly magic on FullMetal, meowing pleadingly. Brenden was still flailing under the mini’s attack.
“Brenden, you have to calm down!” Joyce told him. “Just stop moving and this could all end faster, okay?”
“Keep moving!” Singsong laughed.
“Pay no attention to her,” said Joyce, wondering what had gotten into her partner.
“Like I ever do!” Brenden snapped, slowly calming down. “Okay Joyce, I’m calming down, see?” He was only squirming a little now. “Now hurry up and get your blasted-YEEOOOWWWCH!!!” The moment he’d completely stopped moving, FullMetal had clawed at the man’s head even harder. All growled reproachfully at his brother. “GET IT OFF!!!”
“So no one even knows if she’s okay or not?” Anj asked Library.
“No.”
“Wow,” Anj said again. She looked at JF. “And you two are working together now?”
“Mm-hmm,” Library nodded.
“Is this normal?” JF asked, gesturing to Brenden.
“Unfortunately, yes,” Anj sighed. “I need to get to DoSAT,” she grumbled, looking at her ruined CAD.
“We’re going that way…at least, I think DoSAT is on the way to the cafeteria,” Library said.
“Oh?” Anj asked, sensing an opportunity. “Want to walk together?”
“Sure. Why not?”
“It’s been great Joyce, Singsong!” Anj called over her shoulder as she and the other two left. “‘Fraid I have to go now, though! Later!”
“Wait! You forgot your partner!” Joyce shouted as All managed to coerce FullMetal into letting go. Anjilly merely waved as she rounded a corner with Library and JF. On the floor, Brenden groaned and laid still.
“Is he dead?” Singsong asked eagerly. Joyce looked at her partner oddly.
“No.”
“Drat,” Singsong sighed. “Well, at least he got mauled.” She scooped FullMetal up in a hug, the first time Joyce ever remembered her doing so. “FullMetal, you’re the best chimera in the whole world, you know that?”
All meowed disapprovingly at the attention his brother’s ego was getting.
“Brenden’s bleeding,” Joyce said, carefully touching the agent’s mercifully mini-chimera-free face.
“Really? Is there a chance he’ll die of bloodloss?”
Joyce rolled her eyes. “No, Singsong. There isn’t.”
“Pity.”
“So…what do we do now?”
“Kill him?” Singsong suggested. “Leave him here for BM to find? I know certain ones among them would certainly like to skin him alive…”
“No, Singsong. We aren’t just going to leave him here, alright?”
“Fine, fine,” Singsong sighed. “Take away all my…fun…” She trailed off, a light coming into her eyes.
“Singsong?” Joyce asked worriedly, wondering what sort of vile plan her partner had now.
“I suppose there’s only one thing we can do, if he’s hurt,” Singsong smirked.
“What’s that?”
“Take him to Medical.”