Comments | anjenue: FIC: Selfish (Neville/Harry-ish, PG)

anjenue

FIC: Selfish (Neville/Harry-ish, PG)

Aug 01, 2007 17:06

Title: Selfish
Author: Anj (anjenue)
Pairing: Neville/Harry-ish, Neville/Snape if you squint
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~3700
Summary: Neville is very good at getting what he wants.
A/N: Happy belated birthday to Neville and Harry! I started out with the intention of writing an utterly porntastic fic, and instead I got...this. DH-compliant, mostly gen, ( Read more... )

fic:hp:post-dh, fic:hp:nl/hp

Comments 8

shikishi August 1 2007, 23:56:10 UTC

oh.. lovely lovely. I adore how strong and centered you have made Neville here, and how he has changed so much.

and the appearence of Snape was bestest. :)

and agreed, the stories are all swirling around here but the porn just isn't there yet.

secretsolitaire August 2 2007, 12:10:49 UTC

Just lovely. I particularly like your Snape!

dwlikeebeinlost August 2 2007, 13:45:19 UTC

LOVED THIS!!!

OMG!! LOOOVED IT!

melfinatheblue August 2 2007, 14:12:57 UTC

This was a wonderful aftermath fic.

mithrel August 2 2007, 22:08:17 UTC

This was a lovely fic; not quite slash, and I have to say you made it convincing. I'd never thought of Harry/Neville, but this worked. And the fact that Neville and Snape respect each other now, even if they're not friends, makes sense.

Couple of stylistic things though (sorry, I'm a grammar-Nazi sometimes) But the absolutely withering look Snape throws him says "of course, you puerile fool" as clearly as if Snape had roared them into his ear. I would say "it" not "them," since you didn't say "the words" or something like that.

Also: however impossible he's learned now that it is to do everything himself This phrase is awkward; I'd change it to something like "even though he knew now that it was impossible to do everything himself."

Other than those two things, this fic was lovely, and I can just see Snape using the word "puerile" xD