I am me, and that's all I can be.
So my mom has once again decided that I'm a trashy whore going nowhere in life. Well not those exact words, but very similar. Then she asks why I put myself down like that. Really? I'm the one putting me down?!?!? She insists though, that they are not disappointed in me. She just doesn't understand why I act beneath myself. Beneath myself?!?!? Who is to say what is "beneath" me? And what makes me so good to be above said actions? She says, well, you wouldn't hang out with a stripper because of the way they act and the people they hang around. Well mom, it just so happens I have a friend who's a stripper. You know what kind of people I don't like to hang around? Judgmental ones. Snobby elitists. Liars, cheaters, manipulators and back stabbers. I can't stand people that are fake. If you are honest, genuine, and up front then I don't care what you do or who you hang around. My job may not be the best, but it pays the bills and allows me the money and most of the time the time to do the things I really want to do. So how is that bad? Yes I curse, but who decided that "fuck" is an inappropriate word? Probably bureaucratic elitists! Apparently sleeping with guys I am not in a relationship with makes me a whore. Really? I thought I was only a whore if they paid me! And as long as both parties enjoy it, what's the problem? Besides, by sleeping with a person you automatically form a relationship with that person, even if said relationship is "fuck-buddies" it's still a relationship. It's all relative! Besides, sleeping with the guy I was in a relationship with had much worse outcomes. And apparently going out and drinking makes me a low-life. Personally, I just want to have fun. I did my time in high school and college, I never went out, never did anything fun, and spent some of the best years of my life being practically married. Excuse me if I'm not ready to settle down yet and give up all my fun! Apparently my mom doesn't understand any of this. And to her, I'm sorry, but this is me. I'm tired of trying to prove myself to people. I'm tired of trying to prove to people that I really am smart. That I really can do things. That I can compete on their level. That I'm not a naive sheltered little girl. But that's who my parents want me to be and I'm not. I'm not "lady-like", I've worked too hard to compete with the boys in a patriarchal society. So sorry people, but this is who I am. I'm somewhat rude and crude and blunt, but I am always honest, caring and loyal to a fault. So take it or leave it but please don't take advantage of it!