Taemin's Diary - Final Entry
Title : Taemin's Diary - Final Entry
Pairings : 2Min, but only if you squint
Rating : PG-13, for suggested sexual activity
Warnings : Lots of angst, as I was going through a bad time when I wrote this.
I was happy for you the day I learned you had a new girlfriend. I was glad when you told me that she was a great person. I was thrilled when you told me she has a beautiful singing voice. I was elated when you told me she was a gamer. I was ecstatic when you told me she had a full time job.
However, I was not happy when you told me she lived in your town. I was not glad when you told me she was the lead singer of your new band. I was not thrilled when you told me you were living with her. I was not elated when you told me you had sex with her.
And most of all, I was no where near ecstatic when you told me you were engaged. I wanted to cry when you told me that you are getting married next year. I had thought I was doing a good job of hiding my being upset.
I had done well enough for you not to notice, but she did. I love her. She really is a great person, she really does have a beautiful singing voice. She's amazing at gaming. But I couldn't tell her the truth when she asked me if I was okay.
I lied to her. I told her "I'm fine, just... tired, is all." Yeah. Tired. That's it. I'm just tired. She said she believed me, but I could tell on her face she knew something was wrong. She's good with her sisterly senses. I'll give her that.
But she'll never know why I wanted to slap you both while she was hanging on you the entire time. Never know why I wanted to gag myself every time she kissed your shoulder. Or your neck. Or anywhere.
She'll never know why I just spent an hour in the shower crying my eyes out. Never know why I don't approve of this soon-to-be marriage. But, 'ya know, it's not up to me, is it? You love her, and she loves you. That's it. Nothing else complicated about it.
I would tell you that I love you, and tell you about how I don't want you to marry her, but that would just make everything so... awkward. We've known each other for ten years now. I've introduced you to everyone I know as my brother. And the same goes with you for me.
I'm pretty sure it would scare you if I told you. If I told ANYONE. They would all probably call me stupid, and tell me that it'll pass. But the thing is... I don't think it will. Normally it does but... This time it's different. It feels worse. It hurts more.
I'm absolutely confident in myself that on the day of your wedding, I will stand next to you as Best Man. I will be there as your face lights up when she walks down the aisle in a flowing white dress. I will smile and joke with you about the Honeymoon night.
I will make a toast at the tiny reception. I will speak of the kiddish and stupid shit we used to do. I will talk of the kiddish and stupid shit you will do with her. I will laugh at the idea of your children.
I will smile and break at your handsome smile when you look at her. I will tear apart when you laugh at her not-so-funny jokes. I will cry at my dear brother being a man. I will die at the thought of your forever with her.
But I will always be happy about your life being good. She will take care of you, and keep you safe. She will keep you from doing stupid shit. She will make you do what's right, and what's smart. She will keep you happy, and that is all that matters.
Have a good life with her, because I know you deserve it. I wish you nothing but happiness with her, and I hope she knows if you get otherwise, she might as well be dead. But I've already threatened her about that. I may be younger and smaller then her, but I pack a damn good punch when needed.
Live happy and healthy, please? Take good care of yourself and be safe in the years to come.
Pairings : 2Min, but only if you squint
Rating : PG-13, for suggested sexual activity
Warnings : Lots of angst, as I was going through a bad time when I wrote this.
I was happy for you the day I learned you had a new girlfriend. I was glad when you told me that she was a great person. I was thrilled when you told me she has a beautiful singing voice. I was elated when you told me she was a gamer. I was ecstatic when you told me she had a full time job.
However, I was not happy when you told me she lived in your town. I was not glad when you told me she was the lead singer of your new band. I was not thrilled when you told me you were living with her. I was not elated when you told me you had sex with her.
And most of all, I was no where near ecstatic when you told me you were engaged. I wanted to cry when you told me that you are getting married next year. I had thought I was doing a good job of hiding my being upset.
I had done well enough for you not to notice, but she did. I love her. She really is a great person, she really does have a beautiful singing voice. She's amazing at gaming. But I couldn't tell her the truth when she asked me if I was okay.
I lied to her. I told her "I'm fine, just... tired, is all." Yeah. Tired. That's it. I'm just tired. She said she believed me, but I could tell on her face she knew something was wrong. She's good with her sisterly senses. I'll give her that.
But she'll never know why I wanted to slap you both while she was hanging on you the entire time. Never know why I wanted to gag myself every time she kissed your shoulder. Or your neck. Or anywhere.
She'll never know why I just spent an hour in the shower crying my eyes out. Never know why I don't approve of this soon-to-be marriage. But, 'ya know, it's not up to me, is it? You love her, and she loves you. That's it. Nothing else complicated about it.
I would tell you that I love you, and tell you about how I don't want you to marry her, but that would just make everything so... awkward. We've known each other for ten years now. I've introduced you to everyone I know as my brother. And the same goes with you for me.
I'm pretty sure it would scare you if I told you. If I told ANYONE. They would all probably call me stupid, and tell me that it'll pass. But the thing is... I don't think it will. Normally it does but... This time it's different. It feels worse. It hurts more.
I'm absolutely confident in myself that on the day of your wedding, I will stand next to you as Best Man. I will be there as your face lights up when she walks down the aisle in a flowing white dress. I will smile and joke with you about the Honeymoon night.
I will make a toast at the tiny reception. I will speak of the kiddish and stupid shit we used to do. I will talk of the kiddish and stupid shit you will do with her. I will laugh at the idea of your children.
I will smile and break at your handsome smile when you look at her. I will tear apart when you laugh at her not-so-funny jokes. I will cry at my dear brother being a man. I will die at the thought of your forever with her.
But I will always be happy about your life being good. She will take care of you, and keep you safe. She will keep you from doing stupid shit. She will make you do what's right, and what's smart. She will keep you happy, and that is all that matters.
Have a good life with her, because I know you deserve it. I wish you nothing but happiness with her, and I hope she knows if you get otherwise, she might as well be dead. But I've already threatened her about that. I may be younger and smaller then her, but I pack a damn good punch when needed.
Live happy and healthy, please? Take good care of yourself and be safe in the years to come.