(no subject)
I don't know what's wrong with me.
The first is the whole Heath Ledger thing. I'm really bothered by the fact that he died. I'm not gonna pretend that I was his biggest fan, or that he was my favourite actor or anything, but I did, on occassion, go to the cinema specifically to see a film coz he was in it. And I actually believed that, in the future, I would meet and marry Patrick from 10 Things....... I know that's stupid but man, I loved that boy. I don't have any personal experience of death. All my grandparents died before I was born (or when I was like 5, so it makes no odds). My parents are both still here, as are my brothers and sisters and their kids. None of the aunties/uncles or cousins I actually know have died and I've never lost a close friend. Or any friend for that matter. That measn that the only people I 'know' who have died are celebrities. Usually, when someone famous dies who I liked it comes as a bit of a shock. There are some "oh, that's a real shame"s, but that's it. But this is different. I don't WANT him to be dead. I liked him, I liked his work, he seemed decent. You hear all the time of stars being wreckless, all the Kate's and the Britneys and the Amy's and the Paris' and the so and so, but you didn't hear that of him. He wasn't in my National Enquirer because he'd been done for DUI again, he was in there pictured with his family, his little girl, if at all. I know that it doesn't mean that he didn't have personal addictions/issues (I'm not making assumptions until the cause of death is established), that weren't displayed in public but he seemed so normal. So why? And why do I care? I didn't know the guy. Do I have a right to care? Can you mourn for a celebrity? Someone you didn't know? Is it disrespectful to the people who did know them and do have to mourn? I was soooooo looking forward to The Dark Knight and Heath's Joker, now, I'm not sure I could even watch it. Part of me thinks it would feel wrong, but another part thinks it would be a fitting tribute. Not just for me to watch it, but for everyone who watches it. I feel stupid for caring. But evertime I see the word's HEATH LEDGER - FOUND DEAD, it tears me up a little and I wish it wasn't true. I just don't understand why I feel like I wish it wasn't true. And I don't understand if I have the right to feel like that.
I was going to write abut something else here too, but it is going to have to wait. It doesn't seem right to write about something so trivial..... when in the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter.
The first is the whole Heath Ledger thing. I'm really bothered by the fact that he died. I'm not gonna pretend that I was his biggest fan, or that he was my favourite actor or anything, but I did, on occassion, go to the cinema specifically to see a film coz he was in it. And I actually believed that, in the future, I would meet and marry Patrick from 10 Things....... I know that's stupid but man, I loved that boy. I don't have any personal experience of death. All my grandparents died before I was born (or when I was like 5, so it makes no odds). My parents are both still here, as are my brothers and sisters and their kids. None of the aunties/uncles or cousins I actually know have died and I've never lost a close friend. Or any friend for that matter. That measn that the only people I 'know' who have died are celebrities. Usually, when someone famous dies who I liked it comes as a bit of a shock. There are some "oh, that's a real shame"s, but that's it. But this is different. I don't WANT him to be dead. I liked him, I liked his work, he seemed decent. You hear all the time of stars being wreckless, all the Kate's and the Britneys and the Amy's and the Paris' and the so and so, but you didn't hear that of him. He wasn't in my National Enquirer because he'd been done for DUI again, he was in there pictured with his family, his little girl, if at all. I know that it doesn't mean that he didn't have personal addictions/issues (I'm not making assumptions until the cause of death is established), that weren't displayed in public but he seemed so normal. So why? And why do I care? I didn't know the guy. Do I have a right to care? Can you mourn for a celebrity? Someone you didn't know? Is it disrespectful to the people who did know them and do have to mourn? I was soooooo looking forward to The Dark Knight and Heath's Joker, now, I'm not sure I could even watch it. Part of me thinks it would feel wrong, but another part thinks it would be a fitting tribute. Not just for me to watch it, but for everyone who watches it. I feel stupid for caring. But evertime I see the word's HEATH LEDGER - FOUND DEAD, it tears me up a little and I wish it wasn't true. I just don't understand why I feel like I wish it wasn't true. And I don't understand if I have the right to feel like that.
I was going to write abut something else here too, but it is going to have to wait. It doesn't seem right to write about something so trivial..... when in the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter.