Without, Within, and Out of Sight
I rarely post on this site, but the sight of this site is comforting. So here it goes:
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I already knew as a kid that my family wasn't the most finacially stable. Yes, I had have always had food, a house, a surplus of gadgets, and siblings to play with. But as I got older, I just wanted more. I rarely ask my parents for anything, unless it was for my birthday or a holiday, there wasn't that many occassions where I voiced my wants to my family.
But things have been increasingly annoying as of lately. For the past few years, I had to turn down multiple offers and invitations of many honorable events, camps, conventions and seminars. All of them had one thing in common: they were all offers and invitations to get actual hands on experiences/learn of the job I wanted and had a huge passion for. (Law if you're wondering.) But, this week, I was sent a letter that was an invitation to join a program for six days up in D.C. during the summer. Of course, I was over cloud nine because this program only chooses 300 students out of hundreds of thousands elligable students across the nation, and I was part of that 300. When I told my mom the news, she was excited, until I mentioned that it was in D.C. and then she promptly made fun of me of even actually thinking I had a chance of going. She said we didn't have the money to send me off to D.C. for about a week. (This was the same excuse I have been hearing since middle school.) But the thing is, I had the money, my money which I have saved and earned for years, just so I could go and experience my dream. But my mom wouldn't hear of it and told me it would be a waste.
A waste you say? When was my dream a waste to you? This program is a once in a life-time opertunity for me. And again, after time and time, I can't chase after my dream because you don't wish to spend money on extending my education, my experiences, and letting me figure out who I am and who I want to be. I am not your generation where I can just put my education second like you have. You could put your education second because your job came first. In my generation, McDonalds won't hire a person unless they have graduated high school, in which in your generation, that was not one of the requirements. Things have changed, everything is so much harder now, and It's a fact.
Ironically, I had a very lucrative job as a make-up sales clerk a year back. I worked hard at the counter because that was the first job I ever had that was not run by a family member of mine. But, my parents made me quit the job after 6 months when they figured out that I wouldn't work for them any more. With that in mind.....they made me work for them for free ONCE AGAIN. They told me this would be great experience for the future, but I called them out on their bullshit instantly. They knew what they were saying was complete bull but they would pull the "I gave birth to you." crap and expecting me to empathise, no, I only fumed with anger and my grudeges marred my very soul like ravines at the bottom of the ocean.
I'm so frustrated right now because I feel like I'm letting this once-in-a-lifetime opertunities go, because my own mother is holding me back from my potential.
My mind is in a sporadic mess of thoughts and emotions, so this may have been a slight challenge to read. Good night.
-RANT END-
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I already knew as a kid that my family wasn't the most finacially stable. Yes, I had have always had food, a house, a surplus of gadgets, and siblings to play with. But as I got older, I just wanted more. I rarely ask my parents for anything, unless it was for my birthday or a holiday, there wasn't that many occassions where I voiced my wants to my family.
But things have been increasingly annoying as of lately. For the past few years, I had to turn down multiple offers and invitations of many honorable events, camps, conventions and seminars. All of them had one thing in common: they were all offers and invitations to get actual hands on experiences/learn of the job I wanted and had a huge passion for. (Law if you're wondering.) But, this week, I was sent a letter that was an invitation to join a program for six days up in D.C. during the summer. Of course, I was over cloud nine because this program only chooses 300 students out of hundreds of thousands elligable students across the nation, and I was part of that 300. When I told my mom the news, she was excited, until I mentioned that it was in D.C. and then she promptly made fun of me of even actually thinking I had a chance of going. She said we didn't have the money to send me off to D.C. for about a week. (This was the same excuse I have been hearing since middle school.) But the thing is, I had the money, my money which I have saved and earned for years, just so I could go and experience my dream. But my mom wouldn't hear of it and told me it would be a waste.
A waste you say? When was my dream a waste to you? This program is a once in a life-time opertunity for me. And again, after time and time, I can't chase after my dream because you don't wish to spend money on extending my education, my experiences, and letting me figure out who I am and who I want to be. I am not your generation where I can just put my education second like you have. You could put your education second because your job came first. In my generation, McDonalds won't hire a person unless they have graduated high school, in which in your generation, that was not one of the requirements. Things have changed, everything is so much harder now, and It's a fact.
Ironically, I had a very lucrative job as a make-up sales clerk a year back. I worked hard at the counter because that was the first job I ever had that was not run by a family member of mine. But, my parents made me quit the job after 6 months when they figured out that I wouldn't work for them any more. With that in mind.....they made me work for them for free ONCE AGAIN. They told me this would be great experience for the future, but I called them out on their bullshit instantly. They knew what they were saying was complete bull but they would pull the "I gave birth to you." crap and expecting me to empathise, no, I only fumed with anger and my grudeges marred my very soul like ravines at the bottom of the ocean.
I'm so frustrated right now because I feel like I'm letting this once-in-a-lifetime opertunities go, because my own mother is holding me back from my potential.
My mind is in a sporadic mess of thoughts and emotions, so this may have been a slight challenge to read. Good night.
-RANT END-