Scary-tat
Originally published at Closed Doors. You can comment here or there.
Final Semester.
whoa.
I might actually graduate this time!
Truth be told, I am just a little scared. after being in a coddled state for the last, what, 5 years, I am absolutely astounded at how far I have come since that faithful day that I was excluded from ANU. My thoughts back then were awfully jumbled. I didn’t want to make it feel like my friend’s death caused anything to me, and at the same time I knew I was just a little fucked in the head.
The biggest thing that ran through my head was how I should kill myself. It ranged from sleeping out in the cold on Black Mountain, to setting myself on fire, to just drowning in Lake Burley - as long as I don’t cause too much problems to anyone else.
Despite how much I wanted to die back then, and every time I felt like I couldn’t carry on no more, WYD was… an amazing revelation. The thought that I could now finally die and shrug off everything else startled the fuck out of me. Gasping for air, I prayed. “Dear Lord, not now. I’ve still got tonnes of things I haven’t done yet.” over and over and over again.
In this last semester, I have the option of doing 2 totally non-related electives since I can’t do my remaining courses part-time (or so they say. I am pretty sure I have seen at least 3 students did only 1-2 courses). So I picked up general computing and… It’s fun! well, at the moment anyways.
First class of the week: “Hi, This, IS, a MOUSE!” woaahhhh revelations :p It is, however, more enjoyable with these courses since… it’s not a very important component to my degree, so perhaps that’s why I am having fun.
So… because I really want to get something done in the next 3 years, in case I do die in Madrid, WYD2011, I am not quite sure yet what I want to achieve. There are a few things I do hope to get done, and hope to see before I go:
- visit Myanmar and see the School that I helped built (and whether,
, the toilet walls have caved in from me falling asleep while laying them) - Visit Boston and Chicago
- Skydive, AGAIN!
- Learn to cycle, drive, swim, surfboard, snowboard and poledance
- Get my freakin degree ALREADY, and then finally break the news to my family how I fucked up my first degree.
- Go to Calcutta and visit Missionaries of Charity
- Visit Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico
- Take Good Photographs!
And perhaps, I am dreaming. Everything requires money, no? but it’s great to dream big. Of the last list I did, I managed to:
- read 2 books that aren’t prescribed texts (ok so now I am into tear-jerking Chick Lits, whatever)
- buy THE cookbook
- Levelled my character
- Went to the gym
- Etc
Thing is, they aren’t anything real substantial. So… before I die, please let me see the tilma in Mexico.