(Untitled)
I feel like I've just had enough. I don't feel any desire to talk about it or to work things out or to fix it, because I'm tired. I'm tired of being the one to fix things. I'm tired of people whom are your friends when they are allowed to be or when no one else is there. I'm tired of being the one who tries. I do believe in working and fighting for
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No matter what I said, you knew I always cared about you. You could see it, everyone could tell...but I had to fight for her. I had to. It's not something I could ever hope to explain to you. Or ever hope for you to understand...very few people have had a grip on me like that and she was one of them.
The only regret I have is that you were hurt and the only consolation I have is that I will do my best to never do it again. I don't know if that's enough anymore. I told her everything. We told eachother everything, if that makes any difference. And I mean everything. Maybe not hiding will make up for not fighting...
You deserve to be fought for and fought over, but I've been fighting for so long and for so many things that I just don't know if my best is good enough for a fight, anymore. My best wasn't good enough even before...
And I'm so tired.
I don't know if you'll get anything from this. I don't know if I have the right words...or if maybe this is just meant to be one of those face to face conversations over a drink that people are compelled to have when they are lost.
Whatever you decide to do, with me or anyone else...just don't settle. Don't settle for being 'content'. If anything is worth fighting for it's being fulfilled. It's having that laughter in your heart so loud that it threatens to burst.
And your worth it. Every ounce of it.
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