(no subject)
so, decision time is nearing. sigh. this has not gotten any easier. i got into all four schools i applied to (not really a special feat for library science). i have received some form of financial assistance offer from three of them so far. none of these offers are especially awesome. it pretty much seems like pratt and drexel are out.
while i feel like i could make drexel happen financially, it just seems like i would end up working all the time and trying to fit in some sort of library experience and probably taking a few classes online, and that's just not what i want to do by going back to school. but then, of course, i feel guilty for that. i ought to just be a grownup and work hard and get a degree with little to no debt, but i don't want to. and austin understands that this is pretty much the last time i'll ever be able to do so. i was actually sort of impressed that he encouraged me to just take out loans and not try to do the degree while working full time, because he is so careful with money and worried about debt. but he pretty much agrees that i should just say fuck it and be a student. so i think that's what i'm going to do. plus, i feel like i would have to just show up in philly and hope that it all works out and i find a position in a library somewhere etc.
so it's kind of coming down to pitt and illinois, and i'm not sure what to do. i don't know yet whether or not i'll get an assistantship at illinois (and i may not know in time for april 15th). but if i do, the total tuition cost will be about $5K less than pitt. cost of living is about the same (although i suspect it would be a higher quality of living for the same money in pbgh). illinois is the #1 program in the country. their curriculum is incredibly flexible and interesting. they offer a large number of assistantships in the university library. however...it's in champaign-urbana.
i'm trying really hard to not let myself be swayed by location, but it's difficult. when we were in athens on saturday i was thinking to myself, this isn't so bad, i could live in a college town for a year. but it's not really where illinois is that bothers me, it's where it's not. it's not in a major city with fun, exciting things to do all the time and diverse people. it's not a place with convenient public transportation that a good amount of residents use. it's not a place with interesting, historically important libraries, museums, and institutions where i could try and find employment. it's not even near a place like that... it's a three hour train ride to chicago, and actually closer to fucking indianapolis than chicago. it's also not somewhere that is easy/inexpensive to travel to. that's a concern, b/c i think to make this long-distance thing work, austin and i need to see each other at least once a month. it is not so expensive to fly into chicago, but then there's a three-hour train ride. to fly into champaign-urbana or bloomington-normal, it's more expensive b/c the airlines are limited.
also, i've just gotten sort of attached to pitt, by virtue of them being the only program that seems excited about me, and sending me lots of information about everything. i have an interview for an assistantship at 7 tonight, and i have to say i'm excited about it. it's only ten hours per week, and can be done remotely, so i'll have plenty of time to find a job in one of the several academic libraries in town, or at a museum or something. i'll get to live in a place with character rather than a shitty little 50's apartment building with beige carpet. i'll be able to walk, bike, or take transit everywhere i want to go. and if i either sold the car, or just left it at my parents house but didn't renew the insurance or tags, that would save me tons of money too. i couldn't be actually car-free in illinois.
but assuming i do receive an assistantship at illinois, how do i turn down a cheaper, better program without feeling like a selfish, irresponsible brat? and i legitimately do like the sound of the program at illinois, leaving all external factors out. i mean pitt is ranked #7, it's not a bad program. as i said, cost of living is the same and i would save significantly on travel expenses. there are better opportunities to find a library job, and i will certainly enjoy the experience of being in school more, even if the curriculum is a bit lacking. i guess i've pretty much made up my mind, but i feel bad about the decision.
of course, i haven't gotten actual financial aid packages from any of the schools, so nothing is set in stone. if somebody gives me some grants, perhaps things will change around.
while i feel like i could make drexel happen financially, it just seems like i would end up working all the time and trying to fit in some sort of library experience and probably taking a few classes online, and that's just not what i want to do by going back to school. but then, of course, i feel guilty for that. i ought to just be a grownup and work hard and get a degree with little to no debt, but i don't want to. and austin understands that this is pretty much the last time i'll ever be able to do so. i was actually sort of impressed that he encouraged me to just take out loans and not try to do the degree while working full time, because he is so careful with money and worried about debt. but he pretty much agrees that i should just say fuck it and be a student. so i think that's what i'm going to do. plus, i feel like i would have to just show up in philly and hope that it all works out and i find a position in a library somewhere etc.
so it's kind of coming down to pitt and illinois, and i'm not sure what to do. i don't know yet whether or not i'll get an assistantship at illinois (and i may not know in time for april 15th). but if i do, the total tuition cost will be about $5K less than pitt. cost of living is about the same (although i suspect it would be a higher quality of living for the same money in pbgh). illinois is the #1 program in the country. their curriculum is incredibly flexible and interesting. they offer a large number of assistantships in the university library. however...it's in champaign-urbana.
i'm trying really hard to not let myself be swayed by location, but it's difficult. when we were in athens on saturday i was thinking to myself, this isn't so bad, i could live in a college town for a year. but it's not really where illinois is that bothers me, it's where it's not. it's not in a major city with fun, exciting things to do all the time and diverse people. it's not a place with convenient public transportation that a good amount of residents use. it's not a place with interesting, historically important libraries, museums, and institutions where i could try and find employment. it's not even near a place like that... it's a three hour train ride to chicago, and actually closer to fucking indianapolis than chicago. it's also not somewhere that is easy/inexpensive to travel to. that's a concern, b/c i think to make this long-distance thing work, austin and i need to see each other at least once a month. it is not so expensive to fly into chicago, but then there's a three-hour train ride. to fly into champaign-urbana or bloomington-normal, it's more expensive b/c the airlines are limited.
also, i've just gotten sort of attached to pitt, by virtue of them being the only program that seems excited about me, and sending me lots of information about everything. i have an interview for an assistantship at 7 tonight, and i have to say i'm excited about it. it's only ten hours per week, and can be done remotely, so i'll have plenty of time to find a job in one of the several academic libraries in town, or at a museum or something. i'll get to live in a place with character rather than a shitty little 50's apartment building with beige carpet. i'll be able to walk, bike, or take transit everywhere i want to go. and if i either sold the car, or just left it at my parents house but didn't renew the insurance or tags, that would save me tons of money too. i couldn't be actually car-free in illinois.
but assuming i do receive an assistantship at illinois, how do i turn down a cheaper, better program without feeling like a selfish, irresponsible brat? and i legitimately do like the sound of the program at illinois, leaving all external factors out. i mean pitt is ranked #7, it's not a bad program. as i said, cost of living is the same and i would save significantly on travel expenses. there are better opportunities to find a library job, and i will certainly enjoy the experience of being in school more, even if the curriculum is a bit lacking. i guess i've pretty much made up my mind, but i feel bad about the decision.
of course, i haven't gotten actual financial aid packages from any of the schools, so nothing is set in stone. if somebody gives me some grants, perhaps things will change around.