old--
"you have to remember to disregard everything I say and everything I do and all the things I pretend to be, because nothing at all really counts except for this -- noise and suffocating, combustion and solar flares, red dust and blue dust and stardust, sparkling and imploding because I can't explode and have you see my contents. I'm clawing at my insides to get rid of how beautiful the outsides of everything else are. I can't edge away and I can't be self-contained until I fall out of love with it all: so I don't think I want purity quite as badly as I imagine sometimes."