worlds apart
i am in between worlds. Many of which I can only imagine, can only feel somewhere in my heart, in places that are dark in secret. Caught between where my physical walks and breathes and where my Spirit longs to be free of ties and boundries that keep it from flying. I am caught somewhere in the middle of this new world which those around me believe to be progress and the old world which I believe to be true. I feel longing for days of Spirits. When the ways of men seemed somewhat more primitive. Advance and progress should not be based on civilization and technology, but on the progress of understanding and soul. We gain wisdom from the teachings which come from places in the heart, from places we do not know of. We learn from our history that we are mortal, but that our Spirits seem to live on and beyond what we know here on Earth. And the idea that we are doomed to repeat our history would be a welcome one if it meant that we could return to what we knew of Life and Earth and the Circles. We will be forced to return to our roots when we exhaust our own possibilities with our ideas of grandeur and ‘progress’. Those who came before us knew of trouble and hard lives. Perhaps I am wishful to believe that they might have known more of their hearts than these generations do, than those to come will. Perhaps it is a romantic idea that in leading simpler lives achieving moments of clarity was easier. Yet I know this can not be true. It is the human condition to destroy ourselves in our own guilt and self-idolatry. I look at horses and see something of myself which I can not explain. I see their Spirit behind their eyes and though I can not be one of Nature every moment, I seem to find a piece of myself, of Spirit, of the World in them.It is hard for me to tell what animal lies inside of me. I can not explain and should not have to, how I see animals in human faces. I do not see them as animals of other species, but as brothers and sisters. I am less at war with them than I am with myself and other two-leggeds. The cities of this world are beautiful and they are accomplishments. But they will destroy us. We grow apart from the land that is our Mother, the Wind that is our Breath, our Spirit. And the Sun, the Sky that is our Father. I will leave with the comfort of today, but I want the simple and the innocence and the beauty for the children I hope to have one day. I hope for beauty and peace and innocence and love, and family. Life and Death are one. As it is a philosophy in my mind, I hope to one day accept that it is not the end. And that I will live on, that mortality is that of the physical, not of the Spiritual. And that all are in Circles. Perhaps when this life is done, I will return to the old. Perhaps I will return to the days when roots and Mother Earth were sacred. When I am not caught between the worlds. I am caught between where the world feels it is going and where I feel I belong. We are all struggling to find where we belong, so I can rest knowing I am not alone in my struggles and that I will return to the old ways one day.