It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new YEAR.
Hey guys~ Long time XD
I hope everyone had a Happy New Year!
I had a blast in Osaka with nira_chan , airairo , elyndys , fayevalentine3 , and iceblueaya . Lots of fangirling XD
After one of the cons we met a girl who had almost every single Subaru uchiwa so we had a Subaru matsuri and took pics XD It was difficult to hold that many uchiwas though so the pictures don't do it justice. But there was Subaru everywhere, believe me XD Sarah kept saying her Yasu uchiwa was very happy to be there ;) So many Subarus!
Wow, I've really gotten out of the habit of blogging/writing because I'm already at a loss for what to say XD
Anyway, what are everyone's New Year resolutions?
I've been thinking this year that I don't really need to set any. Not because there's nothing I want to achieve, or work on, but because I'm already working on those things. I'm constantly working on the things that I need to accept/change/challenge. Ever since my bout of depression a few months ago I became aware of the issues/habits I need to deal with and little by little I've been doing that. It's a process. So if anything my resolution is to continue as I have been.
A few weeks ago I looked up my Enneagram type (I love this stuff) and at the bottom of the page it had "personal growth recommendations" that I thought were spot on. Setting a routine, getting out of my head, etc... these are already things I've been working on. If you're curious these are the recommendations:
for Enneagram Type Fours
* Do not pay so much attention to your feelings; they are not a true source of support for you, as you probably already know. Remember this advice: "From our present perspective, we can also see that one of the most important mistakes Fours make is to equate themselves with their feelings. The fallacy is that to understand themselves they must understand their feelings, particularly their negative ones, before acting. Fours do not see that the self is not the same as its feelings or that the presence of negative feelings does not preclude the presence of good in themselves" (Personality Types, p. 172). Always remember that your feelings are telling you something about yourself as you are at this particular moment, not necessarily more than that.
* Avoid putting off things until you are "in the right mood." Commit yourself to productive, meaningful work that will contribute to your good and that of others, no matter how small the contribution may be. Working consistently in the real world will create a context in which you can discover yourself and your talents. (Actually, you are happiest when you are working-that is, activating your potentials and realizing yourself. You will not "find yourself" in a vacuum or while waiting for inspiration to strike, so connect-and stay connected-with the real world.
* Self-esteem and self-confidence will develop only from having positive experiences, whether or not you believe that you are ready to have them. Therefore, put yourself in the way of good. You may never feel that you are ready to take on a challenge of some sort, that you always need more time. (Fours typically never feel that they are sufficiently "together," but they must nevertheless have the courage to stop putting off their lives.) Even if you start small, commit yourself to doing something that will bring out the best in you.
* A wholesome self-discipline takes many forms, from sleeping regular hours to working regularly to exercising regularly, and has a cumulative, strengthening effect. Since it comes from yourself, a healthy self-discipline is not contrary to your freedom or individuality. On the other hand, sensuality, excessive sexual experiences, alcohol, drugs, sleep, or fantasizing have a debilitating effect on you, as you already know. Therefore, practice healthy self-discipline and stay with it.
* Avoid lengthy conversations in your imagination, particularly if they are negative, resentful, or even excessively romantic. These conversations are essentially unreal and at best only rehearsals for action-although, as you know, you almost never say or do what you imagine you will. Instead of spending time imagining your life and relationships, begin to live them.
The first few days of work after the long winter vacation were tough but now that I'm getting back into the rhythm of things I've started to realize how important work is. Having a busy day really gives you a sense of purpose and when you get home downtime is even more enjoyable. I don't know. I guess for someone like me who has a hard time balancing downtime and work time it's good to have responsibilities. It sets parameters that I need. And I feel better about myself when I'm out there doing something and interacting with people. Even if, given the choice, I tend to prefer staying home XD But then I stay home too long and don't want to do anything and start overthinking..... There's no balance. Anyway, I've been cooking more and sleeping at a decent time and I feel so much better.
If there's one thing I want to focus on this year, however, it's love. That's my theme for the year. I want to learn more about love. I want to be more open to it; want to understand how I relate to love, how to give it more freely... how to receive it. How to express it. I'd like to explore romance and sex. If up to now I've been focusing on improving my self-esteem and confidence, then now I think I've made enough progress there that I can start paying attention to myself in relation to other people. I'm ready.This is my year to start experiencing relationships. I've decided.
I guess we'll see how it goes XD
Best wishes to all of you in 2011! ♥
I hope everyone had a Happy New Year!
I had a blast in Osaka with nira_chan , airairo , elyndys , fayevalentine3 , and iceblueaya . Lots of fangirling XD
After one of the cons we met a girl who had almost every single Subaru uchiwa so we had a Subaru matsuri and took pics XD It was difficult to hold that many uchiwas though so the pictures don't do it justice. But there was Subaru everywhere, believe me XD Sarah kept saying her Yasu uchiwa was very happy to be there ;) So many Subarus!
Wow, I've really gotten out of the habit of blogging/writing because I'm already at a loss for what to say XD
Anyway, what are everyone's New Year resolutions?
I've been thinking this year that I don't really need to set any. Not because there's nothing I want to achieve, or work on, but because I'm already working on those things. I'm constantly working on the things that I need to accept/change/challenge. Ever since my bout of depression a few months ago I became aware of the issues/habits I need to deal with and little by little I've been doing that. It's a process. So if anything my resolution is to continue as I have been.
A few weeks ago I looked up my Enneagram type (I love this stuff) and at the bottom of the page it had "personal growth recommendations" that I thought were spot on. Setting a routine, getting out of my head, etc... these are already things I've been working on. If you're curious these are the recommendations:
for Enneagram Type Fours
* Do not pay so much attention to your feelings; they are not a true source of support for you, as you probably already know. Remember this advice: "From our present perspective, we can also see that one of the most important mistakes Fours make is to equate themselves with their feelings. The fallacy is that to understand themselves they must understand their feelings, particularly their negative ones, before acting. Fours do not see that the self is not the same as its feelings or that the presence of negative feelings does not preclude the presence of good in themselves" (Personality Types, p. 172). Always remember that your feelings are telling you something about yourself as you are at this particular moment, not necessarily more than that.
* Avoid putting off things until you are "in the right mood." Commit yourself to productive, meaningful work that will contribute to your good and that of others, no matter how small the contribution may be. Working consistently in the real world will create a context in which you can discover yourself and your talents. (Actually, you are happiest when you are working-that is, activating your potentials and realizing yourself. You will not "find yourself" in a vacuum or while waiting for inspiration to strike, so connect-and stay connected-with the real world.
* Self-esteem and self-confidence will develop only from having positive experiences, whether or not you believe that you are ready to have them. Therefore, put yourself in the way of good. You may never feel that you are ready to take on a challenge of some sort, that you always need more time. (Fours typically never feel that they are sufficiently "together," but they must nevertheless have the courage to stop putting off their lives.) Even if you start small, commit yourself to doing something that will bring out the best in you.
* A wholesome self-discipline takes many forms, from sleeping regular hours to working regularly to exercising regularly, and has a cumulative, strengthening effect. Since it comes from yourself, a healthy self-discipline is not contrary to your freedom or individuality. On the other hand, sensuality, excessive sexual experiences, alcohol, drugs, sleep, or fantasizing have a debilitating effect on you, as you already know. Therefore, practice healthy self-discipline and stay with it.
* Avoid lengthy conversations in your imagination, particularly if they are negative, resentful, or even excessively romantic. These conversations are essentially unreal and at best only rehearsals for action-although, as you know, you almost never say or do what you imagine you will. Instead of spending time imagining your life and relationships, begin to live them.
The first few days of work after the long winter vacation were tough but now that I'm getting back into the rhythm of things I've started to realize how important work is. Having a busy day really gives you a sense of purpose and when you get home downtime is even more enjoyable. I don't know. I guess for someone like me who has a hard time balancing downtime and work time it's good to have responsibilities. It sets parameters that I need. And I feel better about myself when I'm out there doing something and interacting with people. Even if, given the choice, I tend to prefer staying home XD But then I stay home too long and don't want to do anything and start overthinking..... There's no balance. Anyway, I've been cooking more and sleeping at a decent time and I feel so much better.
If there's one thing I want to focus on this year, however, it's love. That's my theme for the year. I want to learn more about love. I want to be more open to it; want to understand how I relate to love, how to give it more freely... how to receive it. How to express it. I'd like to explore romance and sex. If up to now I've been focusing on improving my self-esteem and confidence, then now I think I've made enough progress there that I can start paying attention to myself in relation to other people. I'm ready.This is my year to start experiencing relationships. I've decided.
I guess we'll see how it goes XD
Best wishes to all of you in 2011! ♥