Story Time, with Unki Omi!
I was born in Florida 26 years ago. Back then, Florida was a lawless place, and Happiness dare not tread upon its terrible landscape. One day, when Florida was not looking, I escaped and joined the military. Trust me, it was better. Clinton was President and 12oz cans of Pepsi were 50 cents. There, I encountered many many people of immeasurable awesomeness, evil villains most foul, and strange adventures. Now I live in California. Here the sun shines always, and we are protected by the just and wise Emperor Conan. I am happy here. However, mine is an empty happiness. I no longer have one whom I can share my stories, laughter, and uncanny ability to bestow life and comedy in practically any inanimate object. With great sadness, we each now walk separate paths. I will remember kindly the many nights filled with the warmth of company, and I can only hope that, wherever she is, she does the same.
Happy new year, everyone.
Happy new year, everyone.