I went hunting for a Sue and found a Stu instead!
Title: The New
Author: Patrick
Name: Patrick
Species: Human
Hair: not mentioned
Eyes: not mentioned
Canon Connections: read the Animorph books
Special Abilities: Has an annoying amount of cheerful energy and the ability to figure out the Animorphs from their books where the Yeerks could not. Also the speshul ability all Sues/Stus have that lets them transition effortlessly into the life of an Animorph.
Origin: This kid read the books, figured everything out, and shows up one day hiding in Cassie’s barn. When they hear him in the hay-loft, Rachel morphs grizzly for no reason and whacks him as soon as he pops out of hiding. Badda-boom, badda-bing. Instant Animorph.
Notes: This story has very little in way of plot and it moves so fast and so randomly that I have trouble keeping up with what little there is. Attack a store in the mall? Okay, but why? WHY WON’T YOU TELL ME WHY?
*ahem* Sorry about that.
So besides the character abuse, the lack of plot, the presence of a Stu...well...I guess the spelling’s okay...
Excerpts:
“He knows what we are. He’s gotta be a controller. I say we kill him.” Rachel said.
That’s Rachel for you. Direct and to-the-point. When was she ever that mean though? ‘Oh, look, random dude. Let’s kill him.’ So not Rachel. She’s more of a ‘Oh, look, random dude is trying to kill us. Let’s get him first’ kind of person.
“Wait!” Cassie yelled, “we’re not sure. Let’s hold him for three days like we did with Jake. It will be easier since he can’t morph.”
“Sounds good to me”, I said. Rachel pouted. Let’s play Find the Bad Punctuation!
“Cassie?” Cassie’s mom yelled.
“Um, yeah?” she replied.
“Your friend Phillip is here.” Her mom replied to the reply.
“Okay,” she said. That ‘Phillip’ was Ax in human morph.
Ax came up. “Who is that?” he asked pointing to the mumbling person in the corner.
“That's my friend,” Rachel said hoping Ax would agree with her “is an intruding controller.” Huh? I think this line is self-mocking.
“No it isn’t,” Ax replied.
“What?!” Rachel practically yelled.
“I can tell”, Ax said, “that isn’t a controller.” How? I thought the whole point of the ‘silent invasion’ thing is that no one can tell whose a Controller and whose not.
Rachel looked like she’d been let down. While in the corner...
“What kind of heavy-weight machinery did you hit me with?” he said.
We stared at him. He stared at us. Five minutes later he was tied to a chair.
“How do you know about us?” Rachel sneered.
“I read your books,” he said.
“Someone found our books?” I questioned him. Wait, in this universe they actually published the books? And expected to live? And the author wants us to believe that only this kid figured it out?
“Yeah, an author named K. A. Applegate” he replied.
“Well let’s untie him,” I said.
We walked to the corner and talked about our options. Rachel offered to kill him. *sigh* Poor Rachel. Always the victim of character abuse. It’s no wonder she’s turned so violent. But finally we decided.
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“Patrick.”
“Well Patrick, welcome to the Animorphs."
____________________________ Chapter break here, but somehow I don’t think that excuses the lack of transition or explanation that follows.
“Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!” Patrick exclaimed.
“You are now an Animorph.” I said. “Okay, now everyone get rest, we got an important mission tomorrow.”
“Bye!” said Patrick. Um. What? Bye? Just like that?
We demorphed. Patrick had a problem. It’s hard to morph clothing. And for a beginner, well...
“Eeew!” gagged Cassie. Honestly, that’s just mean.
“Don’t worry,” said Rachel “I morphed earlier and left some clothes up here.”
{I don’t see your need for clothing,}> said Ax halfway through human morph.
Now fully human and clothed, we headed down into the mall.
We went down into the mall and entered the nearest restrooms to the store. Cassie and Rachel in the girls’, Patrick, Marco, Ax, Tobias, and I in the boys’. Then there was another problem.
“Of course I don’t have a fly morph!” said Patrick. “I’ve only been an Animorph for two days!” And they didn’t see this before because... Help me out here, cause I’m sure at least Marco would have pointed this out.
“Easily fixed,” Marco said as he locked the door. “We got plenty of flies to choose from in here.” Last public restroom I was in at a mall, you couldn’t find a fly to save your life. They simply weren’t there. Damn employees cleaning the restrooms and taking out the trash...
Patrick snatched two flies. The first one he killed by accident. Hee hee. Kinda liked this bit, actually. The acquired the second one though. Then we started to morph. Tobias and Ax had to demorph first. A few minutes later, seven flies flew into the store. We heard a Controller talking.
“Well now that all of our fellow Yeerks have fed, I think it’s our turn.” he said. “I will feel a lot better after a nice dip in the pool.”
“Well let’s hurry!” another Controller said. “I haven’t eaten in two days!” Keep in mind, folks, that these Controllers are in a public setting, where it’s perfectly normal to talk about Yeerks feeding where everyone and his grandmother can hear.
The two Controllers left and we demorphed and remorphed but again Patrick wasn’t exactly prepared.
“My toughest morph is my cat!” Patrick loudly whispered, “or I could morph fly and keep out of this.”
Nothing was working right. But I didn’t want to give away such a good opportunity.
“Or I could morph loon and poop on their heads,” Patrick continued.
{No, morph fly,} I said. {We’ll be here again.}
{Sadly,} added Marco.
“Oookray” said Patrick, already starting to morph.
With that over we turned to the computer and other equipment and charged. In two seconds the store was non-existent. No action scene? Not even a bad one? I feel cheated.
{Well that took care of that,} laughed Patrick. {Now to get out of here.}
{Fly morph to the roof and bird from then on.} I said. Bleabedy-blabety-who?
{Don’t you remember how tiring quick morphing is?} asked Marco.
{What, are you afraid?} Rachel taunted.
{Oh, sure Xena,} Marco replied. Does this taunt seem forced and out of place to anyone else? ‘Oh, Marco and Rachel aren’t arguing enough. Uhhh.....*scribble* there!’
Our first mission with Patrick ended rather well. And next time he’ll be prepared. Now he has a cat, a loon, a fly, a dolphin, a wolf, a cheetah, a fox, a cockroach, and a great horned owl. Like Cassie said, that covers Patrick’s morphing problems. We have to be careful, but now we got seven. Now we got Patrick. Now we ain’t got no grammer skilz.
Author: Patrick
Name: Patrick
Species: Human
Hair: not mentioned
Eyes: not mentioned
Canon Connections: read the Animorph books
Special Abilities: Has an annoying amount of cheerful energy and the ability to figure out the Animorphs from their books where the Yeerks could not. Also the speshul ability all Sues/Stus have that lets them transition effortlessly into the life of an Animorph.
Origin: This kid read the books, figured everything out, and shows up one day hiding in Cassie’s barn. When they hear him in the hay-loft, Rachel morphs grizzly for no reason and whacks him as soon as he pops out of hiding. Badda-boom, badda-bing. Instant Animorph.
Notes: This story has very little in way of plot and it moves so fast and so randomly that I have trouble keeping up with what little there is. Attack a store in the mall? Okay, but why? WHY WON’T YOU TELL ME WHY?
*ahem* Sorry about that.
So besides the character abuse, the lack of plot, the presence of a Stu...well...I guess the spelling’s okay...
Excerpts:
“He knows what we are. He’s gotta be a controller. I say we kill him.” Rachel said.
That’s Rachel for you. Direct and to-the-point. When was she ever that mean though? ‘Oh, look, random dude. Let’s kill him.’ So not Rachel. She’s more of a ‘Oh, look, random dude is trying to kill us. Let’s get him first’ kind of person.
“Wait!” Cassie yelled, “we’re not sure. Let’s hold him for three days like we did with Jake. It will be easier since he can’t morph.”
“Sounds good to me”, I said. Rachel pouted. Let’s play Find the Bad Punctuation!
“Cassie?” Cassie’s mom yelled.
“Um, yeah?” she replied.
“Your friend Phillip is here.” Her mom replied to the reply.
“Okay,” she said. That ‘Phillip’ was Ax in human morph.
Ax came up. “Who is that?” he asked pointing to the mumbling person in the corner.
“That's my friend,” Rachel said hoping Ax would agree with her “is an intruding controller.” Huh? I think this line is self-mocking.
“No it isn’t,” Ax replied.
“What?!” Rachel practically yelled.
“I can tell”, Ax said, “that isn’t a controller.” How? I thought the whole point of the ‘silent invasion’ thing is that no one can tell whose a Controller and whose not.
Rachel looked like she’d been let down. While in the corner...
“What kind of heavy-weight machinery did you hit me with?” he said.
We stared at him. He stared at us. Five minutes later he was tied to a chair.
“How do you know about us?” Rachel sneered.
“I read your books,” he said.
“Someone found our books?” I questioned him. Wait, in this universe they actually published the books? And expected to live? And the author wants us to believe that only this kid figured it out?
“Yeah, an author named K. A. Applegate” he replied.
“Well let’s untie him,” I said.
We walked to the corner and talked about our options. Rachel offered to kill him. *sigh* Poor Rachel. Always the victim of character abuse. It’s no wonder she’s turned so violent. But finally we decided.
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“Patrick.”
“Well Patrick, welcome to the Animorphs."
____________________________ Chapter break here, but somehow I don’t think that excuses the lack of transition or explanation that follows.
“Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!” Patrick exclaimed.
“You are now an Animorph.” I said. “Okay, now everyone get rest, we got an important mission tomorrow.”
“Bye!” said Patrick. Um. What? Bye? Just like that?
We demorphed. Patrick had a problem. It’s hard to morph clothing. And for a beginner, well...
“Eeew!” gagged Cassie. Honestly, that’s just mean.
“Don’t worry,” said Rachel “I morphed earlier and left some clothes up here.”
{I don’t see your need for clothing,}> said Ax halfway through human morph.
Now fully human and clothed, we headed down into the mall.
We went down into the mall and entered the nearest restrooms to the store. Cassie and Rachel in the girls’, Patrick, Marco, Ax, Tobias, and I in the boys’. Then there was another problem.
“Of course I don’t have a fly morph!” said Patrick. “I’ve only been an Animorph for two days!” And they didn’t see this before because... Help me out here, cause I’m sure at least Marco would have pointed this out.
“Easily fixed,” Marco said as he locked the door. “We got plenty of flies to choose from in here.” Last public restroom I was in at a mall, you couldn’t find a fly to save your life. They simply weren’t there. Damn employees cleaning the restrooms and taking out the trash...
Patrick snatched two flies. The first one he killed by accident. Hee hee. Kinda liked this bit, actually. The acquired the second one though. Then we started to morph. Tobias and Ax had to demorph first. A few minutes later, seven flies flew into the store. We heard a Controller talking.
“Well now that all of our fellow Yeerks have fed, I think it’s our turn.” he said. “I will feel a lot better after a nice dip in the pool.”
“Well let’s hurry!” another Controller said. “I haven’t eaten in two days!” Keep in mind, folks, that these Controllers are in a public setting, where it’s perfectly normal to talk about Yeerks feeding where everyone and his grandmother can hear.
The two Controllers left and we demorphed and remorphed but again Patrick wasn’t exactly prepared.
“My toughest morph is my cat!” Patrick loudly whispered, “or I could morph fly and keep out of this.”
Nothing was working right. But I didn’t want to give away such a good opportunity.
“Or I could morph loon and poop on their heads,” Patrick continued.
{No, morph fly,} I said. {We’ll be here again.}
{Sadly,} added Marco.
“Oookray” said Patrick, already starting to morph.
With that over we turned to the computer and other equipment and charged. In two seconds the store was non-existent. No action scene? Not even a bad one? I feel cheated.
{Well that took care of that,} laughed Patrick. {Now to get out of here.}
{Fly morph to the roof and bird from then on.} I said. Bleabedy-blabety-who?
{Don’t you remember how tiring quick morphing is?} asked Marco.
{What, are you afraid?} Rachel taunted.
{Oh, sure Xena,} Marco replied. Does this taunt seem forced and out of place to anyone else? ‘Oh, Marco and Rachel aren’t arguing enough. Uhhh.....*scribble* there!’
Our first mission with Patrick ended rather well. And next time he’ll be prepared. Now he has a cat, a loon, a fly, a dolphin, a wolf, a cheetah, a fox, a cockroach, and a great horned owl. Like Cassie said, that covers Patrick’s morphing problems. We have to be careful, but now we got seven. Now we got Patrick. Now we ain’t got no grammer skilz.