(no subject)
Oh, wow. Fear the fandom. We've got some gems here.
First, there's Unexpected Love , and the summary alone was enough to traumatize me.
Then, there's Anily, who has a bunch of fics about her Sue that I couldn't even make enough sense of to write up a repot here.
And last, there's this thing. I'm not sure if it counts as a Sue, but it's at least horrible.
Title: harry or jake
Author: Lady Gaara of the Sand Village
Name: Harry/Jake
Species: Crossover
Hair: Not mentioned, canon? Only I couldn't tell you which canon...
Eyes: Same
Canon Connections: He calls himself Jake and talks to a guy named Marco and a bird named Tobias. Gets most of the HP names spelled correctly, I guess.
Special Abilities: Can learn all the magic there is to learn by the age of seven. Can...be really confusing. Can apparate into a muggle class and make jokes about it?
Origin: Seriously? No. Effing. Clue. Near as I can tell, Harry Potter had a brother, and Godric was the Boy Who Lived. So Harry then hated his family for some reason and so changed his name to Jake...seems to go to school with Marco...was at some point a controller? You know what? Nevermind. I have no clue.
Notes: I've seen Harry's brother fics done well. I've seen crossovers done well. I've never seen an Animorphs crossover done well. And this thing...is not in the same class as even the bad crossovers I've seen. Wow.
Excerpts:
To many my name is jake but I was not always who I am. My oringinal name is Harry James Potter. I lived with my parents and twin brother for three years. I was negelected but I grew in power and magical education. Over time I learned more then everyone in the wizarding world. When I was seven I found an abandoned manor and it turns out it is slytherin manor. I found several books of dark arts and I read them. Also I read the books written in the snake langauge. Thats what i write into my journal. No one but me can open it.
It been a few weeks sence I was last a controler. I got a letter from hogwarts again. They never stop. School just started and they still want me to go and go to their school. I would rather be dead then being near those fucking Potters. I decided that we should have a break form being in close calls. Looking around my room I dropped the glamor I put on it. My room is huge. There is a fireplace right next to me that is connected to the floo network. Did I forget tpo mention i have been selling potions sence i was five. All the money was transfered to Gringotts. I have several priceless books, objects, and bacisly many things purebloods would die for. I am the second richest wizard. After the Potters that is and the malfoys are below me. Looking around I grabb a pouch before going to the fireplace. "daigon alley,'' I said before I was incased in a green flame.
I came out in the Leacky cauldren. I stood with an emtionless mask on. I turned toward the wizards. "Bless my soul its long lost harry potter,'' said tom behind the bar. Many peopel surrounded me takign pictures. "My name is no longer harry so don't call me by the name those Potters gave me. My name is Jake,'' said jake before turing on his heel walked away. I walked into a shop and got potions ingrediances. Also I got several more books on defense against the dark arts.
Later when he got he started makign several potions that he would sell to potion stores who sell them and he gets the money they paid for making the potion. I worked for hours none stop. But midnight I got a lot of simple potions done but I started on a potion that takes two days to make. Soon I bottled it up and went to sleep.
When I woke I heard knocking on my window. I got up and let tobias in he held a foot out and I grabbed the paper. Tobias always got one for me and I saw the front page I stip out my juice. There was a picture of me and my cold mask. it said:
harry potter, who went missing 14 years ago, was found going to daigon alley. He barley looks like a potter anymore. He seemed cold to the world. Like a war is going in and he has to fight. He says his name is now Jake. We do not knwo hsi last name. His words were,'' My name is no longer harry so don't call me by the name those potters called me. My name is jake.'' Thsi brought shock to everyoen. He seemed cold. He got potions ingredance and books of defence against the dark arts before leaving. Why does he despise his own family?
First, there's Unexpected Love , and the summary alone was enough to traumatize me.
Then, there's Anily, who has a bunch of fics about her Sue that I couldn't even make enough sense of to write up a repot here.
And last, there's this thing. I'm not sure if it counts as a Sue, but it's at least horrible.
Title: harry or jake
Author: Lady Gaara of the Sand Village
Name: Harry/Jake
Species: Crossover
Hair: Not mentioned, canon? Only I couldn't tell you which canon...
Eyes: Same
Canon Connections: He calls himself Jake and talks to a guy named Marco and a bird named Tobias. Gets most of the HP names spelled correctly, I guess.
Special Abilities: Can learn all the magic there is to learn by the age of seven. Can...be really confusing. Can apparate into a muggle class and make jokes about it?
Origin: Seriously? No. Effing. Clue. Near as I can tell, Harry Potter had a brother, and Godric was the Boy Who Lived. So Harry then hated his family for some reason and so changed his name to Jake...seems to go to school with Marco...was at some point a controller? You know what? Nevermind. I have no clue.
Notes: I've seen Harry's brother fics done well. I've seen crossovers done well. I've never seen an Animorphs crossover done well. And this thing...is not in the same class as even the bad crossovers I've seen. Wow.
Excerpts:
To many my name is jake but I was not always who I am. My oringinal name is Harry James Potter. I lived with my parents and twin brother for three years. I was negelected but I grew in power and magical education. Over time I learned more then everyone in the wizarding world. When I was seven I found an abandoned manor and it turns out it is slytherin manor. I found several books of dark arts and I read them. Also I read the books written in the snake langauge. Thats what i write into my journal. No one but me can open it.
It been a few weeks sence I was last a controler. I got a letter from hogwarts again. They never stop. School just started and they still want me to go and go to their school. I would rather be dead then being near those fucking Potters. I decided that we should have a break form being in close calls. Looking around my room I dropped the glamor I put on it. My room is huge. There is a fireplace right next to me that is connected to the floo network. Did I forget tpo mention i have been selling potions sence i was five. All the money was transfered to Gringotts. I have several priceless books, objects, and bacisly many things purebloods would die for. I am the second richest wizard. After the Potters that is and the malfoys are below me. Looking around I grabb a pouch before going to the fireplace. "daigon alley,'' I said before I was incased in a green flame.
I came out in the Leacky cauldren. I stood with an emtionless mask on. I turned toward the wizards. "Bless my soul its long lost harry potter,'' said tom behind the bar. Many peopel surrounded me takign pictures. "My name is no longer harry so don't call me by the name those Potters gave me. My name is Jake,'' said jake before turing on his heel walked away. I walked into a shop and got potions ingrediances. Also I got several more books on defense against the dark arts.
Later when he got he started makign several potions that he would sell to potion stores who sell them and he gets the money they paid for making the potion. I worked for hours none stop. But midnight I got a lot of simple potions done but I started on a potion that takes two days to make. Soon I bottled it up and went to sleep.
When I woke I heard knocking on my window. I got up and let tobias in he held a foot out and I grabbed the paper. Tobias always got one for me and I saw the front page I stip out my juice. There was a picture of me and my cold mask. it said:
harry potter, who went missing 14 years ago, was found going to daigon alley. He barley looks like a potter anymore. He seemed cold to the world. Like a war is going in and he has to fight. He says his name is now Jake. We do not knwo hsi last name. His words were,'' My name is no longer harry so don't call me by the name those potters called me. My name is jake.'' Thsi brought shock to everyoen. He seemed cold. He got potions ingredance and books of defence against the dark arts before leaving. Why does he despise his own family?