How Fucked Up Are We?
I'm not exactly sure what to say about my life or the people in it anymore. Nothing is going the way I had planned for it to go. We're having issues. What couple doesn't? Pretty sure I've either hurt your feelings or pissed you off again, but I can't seem to find a nicer way to explain what I'm trying to say. I don't want to call you useless, but the things that I have planned for myself, you have no part in it. There is nothing you can do to make it any better. A lot of the things that came up in our argument, has been heard before and the reasoning behind a lot of things, but you don't seem to remember half of it. I chose not to bring it up because it was through a bunch of texts. So I might as well do it here before I'm called a liar.
1. If you remember the story about my transcript, how my consent form was sent in too late, which resulted in half of the money for my transcript being refunded, except for the processing fee. I can't do anything college wise until I pay for my transcripts yet again. I would like to go to LSUA, but it's not guaranteed. I've filled out the applications, just getting my transcripts and paying for my application fee is the problem.
2. My plan was to go back to college. I'd been talking about that long before I decided to come to United Saints. Matter of fact, that was the plan for after the United Saints. But the screw up with the transcript happened and I lost hope. I'm coming home in May, I'm pretty sure the admission deadlines will be long gone by then.
3. So I had to come up with a different plan. Move and find a job. He knows that there is absolutely nothing for me to do back home. I can try Wal-Mart again, even as a cashier. What's the odds of them hiring me over hundreds of other people? I want to move because I want more options. Call me a freeloader or whatever, but I thought it would have been perfectly fine to piggyback off you, if you moved somewhere. Wasn't that the plan if I had moved to Hattiesburg? I was going to move and find a job there with you.
You feel like I don't see what you're doing. You work hard. Good. But I never asked you to worry about me or do something major for me. I hardly ask for anything, but when I finally do....I get nothing. Not a dime. I would be much happier if I never thought we were a "team". Sure, you're doing much of the work and I appreciate it, but I haven't gotten the chance to chip in. I can't help it if I was raised in a town without shit. I can't help it if I can't find someone to teach me to drive. I can't hire someone to do it because I don't have shit to begin with! And that is one of my main problems. You can't get a job without a ride or license. Who is going to hire someone who can barely get to work?
I appreciate all that you've done for me, mostly for all the minutes you've gotten me over the years. Thanks for that, but for now on, please don't do anything for me. I've said it before, but it's best that we just worry about ourselves. Worry about you and I'm going to worry about myself. I won't ask you for anything. I won't expect anything from you. Just do your own thing. I'll get what I would like on my own some kind of way and hopefully I will have a better future. We're no longer partners in this "future planning, happily ever after" thing. I'm going to build myself up and get settled on my own. I hope you're able to do the same. I feel it's for the better. Maybe by then we will be on the same page.
1. If you remember the story about my transcript, how my consent form was sent in too late, which resulted in half of the money for my transcript being refunded, except for the processing fee. I can't do anything college wise until I pay for my transcripts yet again. I would like to go to LSUA, but it's not guaranteed. I've filled out the applications, just getting my transcripts and paying for my application fee is the problem.
2. My plan was to go back to college. I'd been talking about that long before I decided to come to United Saints. Matter of fact, that was the plan for after the United Saints. But the screw up with the transcript happened and I lost hope. I'm coming home in May, I'm pretty sure the admission deadlines will be long gone by then.
3. So I had to come up with a different plan. Move and find a job. He knows that there is absolutely nothing for me to do back home. I can try Wal-Mart again, even as a cashier. What's the odds of them hiring me over hundreds of other people? I want to move because I want more options. Call me a freeloader or whatever, but I thought it would have been perfectly fine to piggyback off you, if you moved somewhere. Wasn't that the plan if I had moved to Hattiesburg? I was going to move and find a job there with you.
You feel like I don't see what you're doing. You work hard. Good. But I never asked you to worry about me or do something major for me. I hardly ask for anything, but when I finally do....I get nothing. Not a dime. I would be much happier if I never thought we were a "team". Sure, you're doing much of the work and I appreciate it, but I haven't gotten the chance to chip in. I can't help it if I was raised in a town without shit. I can't help it if I can't find someone to teach me to drive. I can't hire someone to do it because I don't have shit to begin with! And that is one of my main problems. You can't get a job without a ride or license. Who is going to hire someone who can barely get to work?
I appreciate all that you've done for me, mostly for all the minutes you've gotten me over the years. Thanks for that, but for now on, please don't do anything for me. I've said it before, but it's best that we just worry about ourselves. Worry about you and I'm going to worry about myself. I won't ask you for anything. I won't expect anything from you. Just do your own thing. I'll get what I would like on my own some kind of way and hopefully I will have a better future. We're no longer partners in this "future planning, happily ever after" thing. I'm going to build myself up and get settled on my own. I hope you're able to do the same. I feel it's for the better. Maybe by then we will be on the same page.