people.
Haven't written here for awhile. I've got a lot on my mind too.. I just haven't had the desire to get it out here on the interslice. (probably cause it's nothing angsty, really, just thoughts.) but yeah, now it's late, there's no one to talk to, and my mind is just kind of buzzing.
So...this past year I've had a lot of time to myself. A lot of fucking time. So much time I've gone for hours without speaking, so that when I finally say something my voice sounds unfamiliar. So much time that I get bored and look at myself in the mirror just to see a person for a sec. So much time that I get close to convincing myself that soon I won't remember how to speak at all. No joke. During that time I've thought a lot about people (and thought about the way I think about people.) I've realized that I can't help but empathize with everyone, especially the people I don't like. It's like my mind can't help but want to solve the mystery of "when and why did they become the person they are right now?" Like with fuck ups.. I wanna know if they were born like that or if they were abused or something. Also.. Something that never ceases to fascinate me is when a person does something completely nonsensical.. like hurt the one they love, quit their jobs, not pay for shit, etc. Lately I think it's because they're convinced they're playing the victim and they'd like to have the power for once. That or they're convinced they're helping out a victim. This is the feeling that pushes people to fight in the name of religion, to run away from home, to save endangered species. As much as I dislike people who think they always play the victim, I feel even worse for the people who can't tell they're being taken advantaged of. There's been a fair share of abuse going around those close to me lately... I can't help but wonder if the tides will ever turn.. if something sensible will happen, finally.
don't repent to a bruise, people.
So...this past year I've had a lot of time to myself. A lot of fucking time. So much time I've gone for hours without speaking, so that when I finally say something my voice sounds unfamiliar. So much time that I get bored and look at myself in the mirror just to see a person for a sec. So much time that I get close to convincing myself that soon I won't remember how to speak at all. No joke. During that time I've thought a lot about people (and thought about the way I think about people.) I've realized that I can't help but empathize with everyone, especially the people I don't like. It's like my mind can't help but want to solve the mystery of "when and why did they become the person they are right now?" Like with fuck ups.. I wanna know if they were born like that or if they were abused or something. Also.. Something that never ceases to fascinate me is when a person does something completely nonsensical.. like hurt the one they love, quit their jobs, not pay for shit, etc. Lately I think it's because they're convinced they're playing the victim and they'd like to have the power for once. That or they're convinced they're helping out a victim. This is the feeling that pushes people to fight in the name of religion, to run away from home, to save endangered species. As much as I dislike people who think they always play the victim, I feel even worse for the people who can't tell they're being taken advantaged of. There's been a fair share of abuse going around those close to me lately... I can't help but wonder if the tides will ever turn.. if something sensible will happen, finally.
don't repent to a bruise, people.