CON CRIT

[animegirl29]

Poll I want to improve my writing, esp since science fucks up my English with typos and grammatical errors. No, this isn't a retarded joke poll to piss you all off. I don't have a beta so I'm also partly wondering if I'm in need of one

Comments

[prototypic]

...i have constructive criticism.

:/ want it? D:

[animegirl29]

*iz a bit worried* I'm all ears

Hey wait, aren't you meant to be at school?

[prototypic]

exams ended at 9 today :D

ummmm. i'm afraid though. D:

[animegirl29]

..Are you going to yell at me about something? *iz really really scared*

[prototypic]

nooo. i mean con crit for your fic. i had it done on thursday night actually, instead of studying, but didn't there post it because idk! even if i like concrit i'll get hurt from it and take it too seriously so i dont want to make things awkward DDDDDDD:

[animegirl29]

Ooh I see. Nah, I take concrit pretty well. I always want to make my writing style better cos for me, it seems a bit robotic with how it's written =/

Also...I feel bad so I'm just going to say it. I'm sorry about the recent things. Really, I am :( Are you feeling better btw?

[prototypic]

are you sure you won't get mad? you have to take it with a pinch of salt because srsly my English isn't that good anyway.

lol, it's fine? what are you sorry about in particular? because if it's about speaking your mind you shouldn't be sorry. you needed to get it out and maybe we should have a talk about it to clear things up.

i am..i guess. stomach still acting up -.-

[animegirl29]

Yea you can tell me. You can send it? Idk how long it is and how harsh you are but I'm never happy with my works so whats the worst you can say that hasn't gone through my mind?

Wait, I'm going home from uni now...I'll go online for a bit in an hour~

[prototypic]

iiiiii wrote this on thursday night. but didn't send it, so it had no relation to the previous days' stuff at all.

...

so i read over your cubicle fic once again, and i'm not going to go into other fictions, because seriouslyasjdkakdihavetostudy. I'll also only go into the first two paragraphs.

Bang

Leeteuk’s frame froze. His eyes darted nervously towards the direction of the door and hoped that the person who came in didn’t find out what he was doing. He bit his lip nervously and willed himself to not make a noise.

He threw his head back with his mouth open and almost let out a deep moan. He felt the tongue roll over his neck and shivered when he felt the tongue swirl circles around his sensitive area. He gripped the shirt and pulled the person towards him, his knuckles turning white from the lust.

Key:
# Bold = Repetitive words/Unvaried use of conjunctions.
# Italics = Repetitive? The only problem I find with that is that you don't vary your conjunctions. You keep using 'and'. It gets better towards the ending, but in the

[animegirl29]

No no, this helped!! Thanks! This point has gone through my mind before so it's ok and yeah, my other fanfics are riddled with mistakes. If you ever wanted to check them, I think you'd just get a killer headache =/

Anyways yep, I'll put you crit into use when writing later! Thanks again~

Srsly though, don't do science in Uni. If I made mistakes in fanfics before, the amount of mistakes must have tripled cos I'm not using my English properly D; I'M EDITING THE PRACTICAL SHEETS COS IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE *headdesk*

[prototypic]

your other fanfics aren't riddled with mistakes! they're awesome and speaking about that TPY?!?!?!

[animegirl29]

THAT HAS THE MOST MISTAKES!! Omg lol I wanna use one of Ryunnie's emoticons :P

[prototypic]

NO IT DOESN'T BUT I MEAN

NEXT CHAPTER WITH KANGTEUK!?!?!!?

[animegirl29]

....YOU KNOW THE NEXT CHAP IS YEWOOK!!

BUTOMGLOLI'MSOOOOFUCKINGLATEFORUNIANDLIKEYEA...

GOOD LUCK DUDE

[prototypic]

YEAH WELL GIMME KANGTEUK TOO SOON.

GOODLUCKTOYOUI'MRPROBGONNABELATETOOXD

LAST EXAM TODAY.