Im Leaving
I have come to realize recently, that there isnt much point in me being here anymore, and that well, I pretty much hate it here. I need to get the hell out of the United States, and in particular this piece of shit place here in Georgia. I am moving to japan ASAP, going to school, seeing what japan has to offer, and doing what I want to do. I just cant seem to get settled somewhere, then again I never have been settled in one place through out my whole life, and honestly not even sure its possible. But despite all that, I am going home. even though I have never been there before, something feels like its calling me there. I am kind of scared though, one of the things I hate the most is having to say goodbye to people, when I know it will be a long time before I see them again (if I ever see them again), and ironicly enough thats what I have been doing my whole life practicly. I have also come to realize I have been living here for one year (I moved to Griffin at the end of October 2004) and that by itself just blows my mind, what the fuck have I been doing? hmm, not finding a place to fit in is one answer, the second answer is watching anime and playing video games, and the third is wasting alot of time. Out of these I think I have wasted time more than anything else, and I am getting very very tired of it, everything just feels meaningless and pointless, I need to go somewhere so I can get motivated so I can create. I want to put my full effort, heart, and soul into something, something big, I am just lacking the motivation (and perhaps sanity) to do it right now. I want to create something I can put my whole lifes worth of experiences into, I want it to be big, beautiful, deep, romantic, dramatic, and emotional (but not the annoying corny kind) and of course all the big explosions, guys with big swords and cast magic, yeah you can probably guess what I am talking about now.
Hmm, ill be leaving this place, my best friends live here and that means I have to say good bye, I wonder if I will be ok with that. I was talking with Rob tonight on the phone, laughing and goofing around and talking about old times... I honestly almost wanted to cry, thats my best friend for 5 years now, and I hardly ever see the guy, and its almost to the point where we are like forgotten memories to each other. Half of my other friends up there dont talk to each other anymore, things just arent the way they used to be, so I am thinking now is probably a good time to just move on... yet again. I sure hope thats not all that life is about, just getting over things and trying to move on, while at the same time trying to deal with the shit the world throws at you.
Hmm, ill be leaving this place, my best friends live here and that means I have to say good bye, I wonder if I will be ok with that. I was talking with Rob tonight on the phone, laughing and goofing around and talking about old times... I honestly almost wanted to cry, thats my best friend for 5 years now, and I hardly ever see the guy, and its almost to the point where we are like forgotten memories to each other. Half of my other friends up there dont talk to each other anymore, things just arent the way they used to be, so I am thinking now is probably a good time to just move on... yet again. I sure hope thats not all that life is about, just getting over things and trying to move on, while at the same time trying to deal with the shit the world throws at you.