Let's face this white elephant.
Long time seen an interesting title eh?
So now, let me ask how I feel about this internship I'm doing.
I like it that we're learning and seeing interesting stuff but on another end, I feel sort of off like how I see the advertisements and such. It's not really a wonder why there are girls who buy cosmetics, skincare and such. I'm under a brand that deals with (female) skincare, haircare, cosmetics so it all felt like such a farce (the thought bubbled up at one point because I try/tried to be objective and distant, just seeing it as work). All so made-up, a farce, if I must.
Somehow, one way or another, I would have, at some point, hated whatever I did. Institutions, organisations and such at a large scale requires a degree of uniformity that I find hard to live with. It was the same with college, everyone had to be the same and all, it makes me sick because right now, there are so many people in the world and we try to control it with some sort of method. Am I getting ahead of myself? If yes, I apologise. Sorry!
Because right now, we have a world that is warming up, seasons and weathers are changing, passing us by because we aren't noticing them. Our attentions have gone to what can be considered small fries in comparison to what is happening now. My generation is receiving a world that is broken in most ways. Money is what make the world go round, and everything else similar to that.
I know that since I entered college, I no longer make sense. I'll just try to dig a deeper hole for me so I can stay long enough to see what is truly happening because frankly, I can't see anything right now. Seriously, I know something is wrong with me and because I'm slowly being consumed by all these worries in my mind and I can't bear enough of the 'you need to be more bold' thing right now.
A Pisces like me, usually gets addicted into substances, alchohol and what not. I know too well what it is (from terms alone) and perhaps my only addiction is to keep the world I as see it, I get stuck in ruts and loops of how I think things should be (cognitive behavourial therapy, I had the book Feeling Good by David D. Burns in my last year of secondary school which greatly helped but I don't see how it can help me now; tried it previously during college, but it just didn't work, it's something different, I'm sure)
Perhaps it's my fear of dealing with reality or that I do not know how to handle these situations (unlike other people orz)
And there's one thing I don't really like, particularly in real life where I become a topic to someone's conversation. I feel absolutely ill when I find out when it happens. Like the previous interns who told my colleague, P-san that I'm stiff or that I need makeup (okay, I tried to loosen up about the formalities and I did put some makeup [how can I avoid eye makeup? I'm weepy lately and the eyeshadow, eyeliner irritates me when I'm teary]) I told her to say thanks. I wasn't angry but more like frustrated with the fact that the world is like that right now. I guess bare-faced me is really bare-faced.
I'd rather travel alone (I'm laughing at myself with this)
Frankly, what I see now is a god-forsaken messy room filled with so many things but hardly used
the deadline to collect answers/do interviews interview my friend and her mother on Saturday or Sunday♪ (now, seriously, I don't give a damn whether I can fulfill that 10 people for each age group.)I'll rewrite that wretched set of questions too.
I'm just too tired with everything in life. I prefer my old life, the life I had before I threw myself into college.
If anyone can tell me what I can do better with how I deal with various situations in the workplace, please tell me.
--
I remember university to be for those who contemplate their days away w
at least a very very long time ago.
--
本気だした、公開するわ、なんてねwww
So now, let me ask how I feel about this internship I'm doing.
I like it that we're learning and seeing interesting stuff but on another end, I feel sort of off like how I see the advertisements and such. It's not really a wonder why there are girls who buy cosmetics, skincare and such. I'm under a brand that deals with (female) skincare, haircare, cosmetics so it all felt like such a farce (the thought bubbled up at one point because I try/tried to be objective and distant, just seeing it as work). All so made-up, a farce, if I must.
Somehow, one way or another, I would have, at some point, hated whatever I did. Institutions, organisations and such at a large scale requires a degree of uniformity that I find hard to live with. It was the same with college, everyone had to be the same and all, it makes me sick because right now, there are so many people in the world and we try to control it with some sort of method. Am I getting ahead of myself? If yes, I apologise. Sorry!
Because right now, we have a world that is warming up, seasons and weathers are changing, passing us by because we aren't noticing them. Our attentions have gone to what can be considered small fries in comparison to what is happening now. My generation is receiving a world that is broken in most ways. Money is what make the world go round, and everything else similar to that.
I know that since I entered college, I no longer make sense. I'll just try to dig a deeper hole for me so I can stay long enough to see what is truly happening because frankly, I can't see anything right now. Seriously, I know something is wrong with me and because I'm slowly being consumed by all these worries in my mind and I can't bear enough of the 'you need to be more bold' thing right now.
A Pisces like me, usually gets addicted into substances, alchohol and what not. I know too well what it is (from terms alone) and perhaps my only addiction is to keep the world I as see it, I get stuck in ruts and loops of how I think things should be (cognitive behavourial therapy, I had the book Feeling Good by David D. Burns in my last year of secondary school which greatly helped but I don't see how it can help me now; tried it previously during college, but it just didn't work, it's something different, I'm sure)
Perhaps it's my fear of dealing with reality or that I do not know how to handle these situations (unlike other people orz)
And there's one thing I don't really like, particularly in real life where I become a topic to someone's conversation. I feel absolutely ill when I find out when it happens. Like the previous interns who told my colleague, P-san that I'm stiff or that I need makeup (okay, I tried to loosen up about the formalities and I did put some makeup [how can I avoid eye makeup? I'm weepy lately and the eyeshadow, eyeliner irritates me when I'm teary]) I told her to say thanks. I wasn't angry but more like frustrated with the fact that the world is like that right now. I guess bare-faced me is really bare-faced.
I'd rather travel alone (I'm laughing at myself with this)
Frankly, what I see now is a god-forsaken messy room filled with so many things but hardly used
the deadline to collect answers/do interviews interview my friend and her mother on Saturday or Sunday♪ (now, seriously, I don't give a damn whether I can fulfill that 10 people for each age group.)I'll rewrite that wretched set of questions too.
I'm just too tired with everything in life. I prefer my old life, the life I had before I threw myself into college.
If anyone can tell me what I can do better with how I deal with various situations in the workplace, please tell me.
--
I remember university to be for those who contemplate their days away w
at least a very very long time ago.
--
本気だした、公開するわ、なんてねwww