Bed Conspiracy Theory
u n r i s k: legs still asleep?
RoG3r KlaUtZ: not anymore
RoG3r KlaUtZ: lol my bed is soo uncomfortable
RoG3r KlaUtZ: but don' tel him I said that... i'll never get any sleep if he ever finds out im talking about him
u n r i s k: your secret is safe with me
RoG3r KlaUtZ: shit.. he saw me type that
u n r i s k: oh fuck
u n r i s k: pretend you were talking about the couch
RoG3r KlaUtZ: I'm in the shithouse now :-..
u n r i s k: he hates the couch
RoG3r KlaUtZ: I do.. fucking couch
u n r i s k: goddamn loose change stealing couch
RoG3r KlaUtZ: him and his sweedish accent
u n r i s k: the bastard
u n r i s k: always with that accent! he thinks is swanky.
RoG3r KlaUtZ: he thinks he's so hip
RoG3r KlaUtZ: and those throw pillows
RoG3r KlaUtZ: dont get me started
RoG3r KlaUtZ: okay I think he's gone
RoG3r KlaUtZ: whew
u n r i s k: that was a close one
RoG3r KlaUtZ: you could say that again
u n r i s k: he's getting suspicious. you can see it in the sidelong way he looks at you
RoG3r KlaUtZ: LOL
RoG3r KlaUtZ: how he hangs his headboard
u n r i s k: hahahaha
u n r i s k: and how he knowingly drags his feet. All four of them, no less.
RoG3r KlaUtZ: He's a slut anyways... you know... I caught him in storage... lining mattresses with the twins
RoG3r KlaUtZ: fuckin queen
u n r i s k: omg no
RoG3r KlaUtZ: yeah
u n r i s k: I'd get rubber sheets if I were you.... for protection
RoG3r KlaUtZ: ... you know... I'm always careful like that.. but last weekm you know what he says to me? He says.. he hates the rubber sheets... he says it doesn't feel "natural"
u n r i s k: he's probably been hanging out at Bernie & Phyl's with ::gasp:: futons and beanbags!
RoG3r KlaUtZ: oh god no
u n r i s k: It's too terrible to think about
RoG3r KlaUtZ: just when you think you know someone.. you're sleeping on them for YEARS .. and then something like that happens
RoG3r KlaUtZ: ::sigh:: I shudder to think what he does when I'm gone
u n r i s k: year after year of pretending you don't notice all those stains
u n r i s k: and then you come home one night to find he's been flipped and his tag has been TORN OFF
RoG3r KlaUtZ: he's all... "they're yours! you left that mark two nights ago!".. bullshit... yeah.. he tells me I tore that off in a fit of blind passion
RoG3r KlaUtZ: blind this
u n r i s k: of course, of course
u n r i s k: and that new dent in the middle? doesn't even fit your body
RoG3r KlaUtZ: .... one of these days.. I'm gonna catch him with someone else in these sheets... and it's all over for him...
RoG3r KlaUtZ: those sheets... curtains
u n r i s k: It'll be curtains for those shady characters
u n r i s k: he said blindly
RoG3r KlaUtZ: mmm hmmm... indeed........
RoG3r KlaUtZ: and those curtains
RoG3r KlaUtZ: you know I heard they're on the pot
u n r i s k: I'm not surprised at all. look at the way they hang.
RoG3r KlaUtZ: all loose.. blowing in the wind.. that's all their life is...
u n r i s k: always getting caught on the middle of the curtain rod
RoG3r KlaUtZ: you know the bed ...and curtains.. I know they talk shit about me while I'm gone
RoG3r KlaUtZ: ...okay. I'm done
RoG3r KlaUtZ: that was fun though
RoG3r KlaUtZ: lol
u n r i s k: hahahaha
u n r i s k: good job
RoG3r KlaUtZ: well-played
<3
RoG3r KlaUtZ: not anymore
RoG3r KlaUtZ: lol my bed is soo uncomfortable
RoG3r KlaUtZ: but don' tel him I said that... i'll never get any sleep if he ever finds out im talking about him
u n r i s k: your secret is safe with me
RoG3r KlaUtZ: shit.. he saw me type that
u n r i s k: oh fuck
u n r i s k: pretend you were talking about the couch
RoG3r KlaUtZ: I'm in the shithouse now :-..
u n r i s k: he hates the couch
RoG3r KlaUtZ: I do.. fucking couch
u n r i s k: goddamn loose change stealing couch
RoG3r KlaUtZ: him and his sweedish accent
u n r i s k: the bastard
u n r i s k: always with that accent! he thinks is swanky.
RoG3r KlaUtZ: he thinks he's so hip
RoG3r KlaUtZ: and those throw pillows
RoG3r KlaUtZ: dont get me started
RoG3r KlaUtZ: okay I think he's gone
RoG3r KlaUtZ: whew
u n r i s k: that was a close one
RoG3r KlaUtZ: you could say that again
u n r i s k: he's getting suspicious. you can see it in the sidelong way he looks at you
RoG3r KlaUtZ: LOL
RoG3r KlaUtZ: how he hangs his headboard
u n r i s k: hahahaha
u n r i s k: and how he knowingly drags his feet. All four of them, no less.
RoG3r KlaUtZ: He's a slut anyways... you know... I caught him in storage... lining mattresses with the twins
RoG3r KlaUtZ: fuckin queen
u n r i s k: omg no
RoG3r KlaUtZ: yeah
u n r i s k: I'd get rubber sheets if I were you.... for protection
RoG3r KlaUtZ: ... you know... I'm always careful like that.. but last weekm you know what he says to me? He says.. he hates the rubber sheets... he says it doesn't feel "natural"
u n r i s k: he's probably been hanging out at Bernie & Phyl's with ::gasp:: futons and beanbags!
RoG3r KlaUtZ: oh god no
u n r i s k: It's too terrible to think about
RoG3r KlaUtZ: just when you think you know someone.. you're sleeping on them for YEARS .. and then something like that happens
RoG3r KlaUtZ: ::sigh:: I shudder to think what he does when I'm gone
u n r i s k: year after year of pretending you don't notice all those stains
u n r i s k: and then you come home one night to find he's been flipped and his tag has been TORN OFF
RoG3r KlaUtZ: he's all... "they're yours! you left that mark two nights ago!".. bullshit... yeah.. he tells me I tore that off in a fit of blind passion
RoG3r KlaUtZ: blind this
u n r i s k: of course, of course
u n r i s k: and that new dent in the middle? doesn't even fit your body
RoG3r KlaUtZ: .... one of these days.. I'm gonna catch him with someone else in these sheets... and it's all over for him...
RoG3r KlaUtZ: those sheets... curtains
u n r i s k: It'll be curtains for those shady characters
u n r i s k: he said blindly
RoG3r KlaUtZ: mmm hmmm... indeed........
RoG3r KlaUtZ: and those curtains
RoG3r KlaUtZ: you know I heard they're on the pot
u n r i s k: I'm not surprised at all. look at the way they hang.
RoG3r KlaUtZ: all loose.. blowing in the wind.. that's all their life is...
u n r i s k: always getting caught on the middle of the curtain rod
RoG3r KlaUtZ: you know the bed ...and curtains.. I know they talk shit about me while I'm gone
RoG3r KlaUtZ: ...okay. I'm done
RoG3r KlaUtZ: that was fun though
RoG3r KlaUtZ: lol
u n r i s k: hahahaha
u n r i s k: good job
RoG3r KlaUtZ: well-played
<3