why are ashley's brain functions so weird?
Scientists have recently discovered while preforming tests on Ashley Bakker that her brain functions differently than anyone else in the country. Miss Bakker has been undergoing many harsh and irrational tests at the Science Lab in Hazard, Kentucky. These tests include shock therapy, random medications, and plenty of IV drugs (which we think she enjoys too much). Miss Bakker's test results were quite shocking to the researchers and doctors, and many agree that she might even be a new species of human. This species looks like the average human, but as the results show, have different brain waves and functions. This new species has a specific admiration for guns and armory, sharp objects, hunting knifes, and possibly fire. This species is very dangerous and we highly recommend the citizens to keep a close eye out for any abnormal behavior, as there could be many more of them running around, hiding in dumpsters and closets. This species moves quickly through water and can run as high as 65 mph. You have been warned.