Star Trek the Motionless Picture
So. Still watching the movie. We're halfway through. Nothing has happened. Well, a console exploded at Chekov. Then he got better. Ayyup.
I don't know whether to be more impressed that Star Trek as a franchise survived this or that this is not regarded as the worst Star Trek movie. If nothing else it proves conclusively that having a truly terrible movie is something you can recover from. I'll have to use this as an example the next time this comes up in the Doctor Who fandom.
I will say it's gotten a lot more watchable now that Bones is here. Or, well, now that Bones has shaved. I'm normally in favor of beards but EESH that was horrible. On the other hand, we just had a half hour scene of Flying Into The Cloud, interspersed with such excitement as Reaction Shots. As my friend Sam says, it's worse than bad - it's boring. Seriously, this movie should be taught in Film School of how not to make reunion films. Everyone is just so depressed all the time! But at least Bones smiles once in a while.
A couple of highlights for my Star Trek According To Me series:
Kirk: Hello, welcome to the Enterprise!
Baldy: I'M NOT HAVING SEX WITH YOU OKAY
Kirk: ...all I said was 'Hello'...
And then later
Kirk: *mope mope mope*
Spock: *turns up out of actually nowhere*
Kirk: Spock! :D
Bones: Spock! :D
Sulu: Spock! :D
Chekov: Spock! :D
Uhura: Spock! :D
Scotty: [from Engineering] Spock! :D
Decker: WTF?
Everyone: :D :D :D :D :D
Spock: Oh god I'm so depressed...
I think that's really what's getting to me about the film. Everyone is so unhappy, and Kirk's being a butt. That was one of the great revelations of the original series - Kirk is pretty darned great. But here, not only is he horribly depressed, he's obsolete and incompetent, and he's fulfilling all the negative tropes of the Starfleet Admiralty. He's wholly unlikable and it's actually really upsetting. We'll see if there's a turn around later. We still have an hour of movie left. Ugh. At least it's good at putting us to sleep.
I don't know whether to be more impressed that Star Trek as a franchise survived this or that this is not regarded as the worst Star Trek movie. If nothing else it proves conclusively that having a truly terrible movie is something you can recover from. I'll have to use this as an example the next time this comes up in the Doctor Who fandom.
I will say it's gotten a lot more watchable now that Bones is here. Or, well, now that Bones has shaved. I'm normally in favor of beards but EESH that was horrible. On the other hand, we just had a half hour scene of Flying Into The Cloud, interspersed with such excitement as Reaction Shots. As my friend Sam says, it's worse than bad - it's boring. Seriously, this movie should be taught in Film School of how not to make reunion films. Everyone is just so depressed all the time! But at least Bones smiles once in a while.
A couple of highlights for my Star Trek According To Me series:
Kirk: Hello, welcome to the Enterprise!
Baldy: I'M NOT HAVING SEX WITH YOU OKAY
Kirk: ...all I said was 'Hello'...
And then later
Kirk: *mope mope mope*
Spock: *turns up out of actually nowhere*
Kirk: Spock! :D
Bones: Spock! :D
Sulu: Spock! :D
Chekov: Spock! :D
Uhura: Spock! :D
Scotty: [from Engineering] Spock! :D
Decker: WTF?
Everyone: :D :D :D :D :D
Spock: Oh god I'm so depressed...
I think that's really what's getting to me about the film. Everyone is so unhappy, and Kirk's being a butt. That was one of the great revelations of the original series - Kirk is pretty darned great. But here, not only is he horribly depressed, he's obsolete and incompetent, and he's fulfilling all the negative tropes of the Starfleet Admiralty. He's wholly unlikable and it's actually really upsetting. We'll see if there's a turn around later. We still have an hour of movie left. Ugh. At least it's good at putting us to sleep.