(no subject)
for some reason ive been thinking alot about my past, which is something i usually never do.
just trying to remember the faces and events that have come and gone, to see if maybe i can learn something, i have trouble emembering though.
i remember my green dragon halloween costume i wore for 2 years constantly when i lioved in these run down apartments, those years at that shithole were the happiest ive ever known, i remember then my mother smashing furniture and chasing me around the house for various reasons, and me hiding from her in a cordboard box, and i also remember on christmas how the whole living room was filled with stuff for me (even though she supported us on a wal-mart salary, so i know it mustve broke her), i remember going to the movies alot with kayla and her mother, and renovating this piece of shit house, i remember joe's donut pile bday cakes, and wandering around in circles by myself for years just imagining things, and what my cousin inadvertantly taught me, th emost important lesson of all, and playing pokemon with my little brother, my little sister pretending to be a cat all the time, i remember my grandfather screaming at the walls for hours in his alcoholism, i remember stephen street racing at 110 mph on 240 in memphis in heavy traffic, i remember the drug addictions w shared, i remeber playing x-men with chad and james jones in 4th grade, chad was os angry he tried to literally hurt EVERYONE, i used to babysit kayla and joey when they lived here with us, heh i remember the first time i hung out with nathan was at a halloween concert at the new daisy and id just taken my first drug...LSD, i remember being the single worst basketball player in the 7th grade, and my whole middle school career as the kid even the nerds made fun of, and how omnipotently rude i was in high school, that was fun, i wish i could be mean again, i remember astral projection, a sea of cough medicine and mouthwash and beer, and the minds eye, i remember trying to explain the concept of solipsism to a classfull of morons in US history once, i remember johnny-c asking me about the effects of xanax, that made me laugh, when i went to visit nathan when i was 14 i had my first kiss and my subsequent first blackout/vomit/passout in the highway/screamfest, acid trips at 3 am in the woods beating trees with machetes, dxm birthday parties with heather, back when she loved me, and chad and i calling joseph churchill at 4am so hed bring us rakes to kill my yard, and so on.
so many things, im trying to figure out how to put them all together.
and most of it terrible, but i wouldnt change any of it at all, thats not the point =p
i kinda wana write a story about it though
just trying to remember the faces and events that have come and gone, to see if maybe i can learn something, i have trouble emembering though.
i remember my green dragon halloween costume i wore for 2 years constantly when i lioved in these run down apartments, those years at that shithole were the happiest ive ever known, i remember then my mother smashing furniture and chasing me around the house for various reasons, and me hiding from her in a cordboard box, and i also remember on christmas how the whole living room was filled with stuff for me (even though she supported us on a wal-mart salary, so i know it mustve broke her), i remember going to the movies alot with kayla and her mother, and renovating this piece of shit house, i remember joe's donut pile bday cakes, and wandering around in circles by myself for years just imagining things, and what my cousin inadvertantly taught me, th emost important lesson of all, and playing pokemon with my little brother, my little sister pretending to be a cat all the time, i remember my grandfather screaming at the walls for hours in his alcoholism, i remember stephen street racing at 110 mph on 240 in memphis in heavy traffic, i remember the drug addictions w shared, i remeber playing x-men with chad and james jones in 4th grade, chad was os angry he tried to literally hurt EVERYONE, i used to babysit kayla and joey when they lived here with us, heh i remember the first time i hung out with nathan was at a halloween concert at the new daisy and id just taken my first drug...LSD, i remember being the single worst basketball player in the 7th grade, and my whole middle school career as the kid even the nerds made fun of, and how omnipotently rude i was in high school, that was fun, i wish i could be mean again, i remember astral projection, a sea of cough medicine and mouthwash and beer, and the minds eye, i remember trying to explain the concept of solipsism to a classfull of morons in US history once, i remember johnny-c asking me about the effects of xanax, that made me laugh, when i went to visit nathan when i was 14 i had my first kiss and my subsequent first blackout/vomit/passout in the highway/screamfest, acid trips at 3 am in the woods beating trees with machetes, dxm birthday parties with heather, back when she loved me, and chad and i calling joseph churchill at 4am so hed bring us rakes to kill my yard, and so on.
so many things, im trying to figure out how to put them all together.
and most of it terrible, but i wouldnt change any of it at all, thats not the point =p
i kinda wana write a story about it though