no point of getting upset
ya kno i wish life could be jus one big vacation where u dont have to worry about n e thing... fuckn sucks how its not... i have done nothing but everything to become a better person then i was b4... to change for the better... and not become one of these egotistical arrogant mother fuckers that suck me back into being the person i was b4... but no i wont let there accusations falter the state of mind ive tried so hard to keep...there is no point of getting upset of something so pointless...they can think wat they want to think... i dont care...ive went through so many freakn challenges to become the person i am now...but do these ppl that call themselves my perents notice?...NO fuck no... i mean im not the way i was...so y cant they freakn give me some space... i mean my father has never played a part of my life...i say this wid no hesitation....he has not once devoted n e part of day to spend time wid me when i was lil... i mean wat happend to bringing me to ball games or takn me fishing... something fathers and sons do to bond... but no... not once can i remember a time ive spent a day wid him...never went to my track meets or soccer games... never had n e talks wid me...none...so why da fuck does he care if im home or not...like it would even matter... he says the same thing to me everyday..one sentence and goes to his office room... i dont see him till its like 11 when he goes to sleep...but wat do i care i feel nothing.. no remorse or anything... if i were to leave here n never come back there would never be a time where i would miss him...how can i miss someone i dont even kno i ask u...i dont fuckn understand y it matters where i am... i mean i hang out wid friends ive known my entire life... but he wouldnt kno that would he... cuz maybe if he took the time to get to kno my friends like other fathers do..he wouldnt bitch at me about where i am...i mean wtf... does he thing theyre the negative influence in my life?!... then hes fuckn more clueless then i thought..cuz i can honestly say hes been the negative part of my life...how stupid does he think i am... that i would do stupid things... i mean i kno better...and if i have done things of that nature in the past b4 i can assure u that i wouldnt dare to do something like that now...n my friends have given me 100 times more attention then he can ever be capable of...n e wonders y i always wanna go out... its cuz i cant stand being in this house being near him yet completely seperated... i had a father figure to look up too... but it certainly wasnt him... i never ever wanna become the person he is... that i am sure...i wont let n e of this crap phase my look on life now... ill put all this aside... and i dont mean my pride... cuz if that were the case id say it in his face...n wouldnt think twice...but there is more important things to think about then this pointless crap...now thats said and done...back to being HAPPY