Oh man am I tired
So today was a pretty good day. The weekend was nice anyway.... I worked all weekend but they were all really short shifts. I made 35 dollars today for 3 hours So I'm not complaining about that.
I was taking a nap and landen had just gotten out of the tub with my sister... he almost peed on me while I was sleeping. Also according to my sister he was close to giving me a tea bag... so needless to say while I was sleeping I almost got a golden shower n a tea bag from a 2 year old... My life is really getting crazy these days huh?
Tomorrow is going to be a long day. Work at 1145, probably until about 3ish... and then I have to come home, clean up, get shit ready, go get the child, watch him until about 830 which includes, food play, bath, and putting him to sleep. AND THEN work out and then sleep.
This whole working out thing has given me more energy during the day thats for sure, but its tough to fit it in and get motivated in the morning you know?
Went out for my brother in law Seth's birthday last night too, that was good. I always feel a little weird when I go out with them though, like a third wheel you know? Since I don't know anyone here it's not like I can ask someone to go out with me... although there are a few cute kids I work with <3
The boy I talked about in the previous entries is coming here from MA. I suppose he is going to be in VA the end of this month and decided to come Mon, Tues, Wed, at the end of the month, I think 28 29 30? I don't know whatever,,, either way he's coming and that should be interesting. And nice to have someone familiar around that I can go out with. The weird thing about this whole situation is I talk to him in the morning before he goes to work, when he gets out of work, and sometimes at night before bed. The odd thing is I never call him he calls me.
I know deep down I'm not going to get my feelings invested into something that is a potential rebound. I mean the guy is going through a divorce, he's young, I'm conveniently there for comfort, it's a perfect situation for him right? It just puts me in an odd place because I can't let any walls down at all. I have to hold strong and not get into this, basically it looks like one of those lame sauce summer flings and when I go back to Worcester for grad school in the fall... there will probably be nothing...
I'm just sick of getting myself in these situations where I like some guy and he is either: taken, gay, or there is some underlying issues he needs to deal with and I don't find out about it until way down the line. I just wish a guy would come around that actually can take care of himself and doesn't have any problems, who can take care of me and mty needs, and just be there. I want someone I can be happy with, do things with, basically a best friend plus sex and some love tucked in there..., it would be perfect....
I pray every night for someone like that... and it's lonely....
I miss having someone in my bed at night =/
I'm going to smoke a cigarette and brood....
PS I'm totally working on the quitting of the smoking, cutting down slowly, and it's totally going awesome <3
I was taking a nap and landen had just gotten out of the tub with my sister... he almost peed on me while I was sleeping. Also according to my sister he was close to giving me a tea bag... so needless to say while I was sleeping I almost got a golden shower n a tea bag from a 2 year old... My life is really getting crazy these days huh?
Tomorrow is going to be a long day. Work at 1145, probably until about 3ish... and then I have to come home, clean up, get shit ready, go get the child, watch him until about 830 which includes, food play, bath, and putting him to sleep. AND THEN work out and then sleep.
This whole working out thing has given me more energy during the day thats for sure, but its tough to fit it in and get motivated in the morning you know?
Went out for my brother in law Seth's birthday last night too, that was good. I always feel a little weird when I go out with them though, like a third wheel you know? Since I don't know anyone here it's not like I can ask someone to go out with me... although there are a few cute kids I work with <3
The boy I talked about in the previous entries is coming here from MA. I suppose he is going to be in VA the end of this month and decided to come Mon, Tues, Wed, at the end of the month, I think 28 29 30? I don't know whatever,,, either way he's coming and that should be interesting. And nice to have someone familiar around that I can go out with. The weird thing about this whole situation is I talk to him in the morning before he goes to work, when he gets out of work, and sometimes at night before bed. The odd thing is I never call him he calls me.
I know deep down I'm not going to get my feelings invested into something that is a potential rebound. I mean the guy is going through a divorce, he's young, I'm conveniently there for comfort, it's a perfect situation for him right? It just puts me in an odd place because I can't let any walls down at all. I have to hold strong and not get into this, basically it looks like one of those lame sauce summer flings and when I go back to Worcester for grad school in the fall... there will probably be nothing...
I'm just sick of getting myself in these situations where I like some guy and he is either: taken, gay, or there is some underlying issues he needs to deal with and I don't find out about it until way down the line. I just wish a guy would come around that actually can take care of himself and doesn't have any problems, who can take care of me and mty needs, and just be there. I want someone I can be happy with, do things with, basically a best friend plus sex and some love tucked in there..., it would be perfect....
I pray every night for someone like that... and it's lonely....
I miss having someone in my bed at night =/
I'm going to smoke a cigarette and brood....
PS I'm totally working on the quitting of the smoking, cutting down slowly, and it's totally going awesome <3