What the fuck
I don't know who I am anymore and the more I try to figure it out the less I know myself. I havent felt this way in so long, I havent been this confused in a while. Yesterday I couldn't have been happier, my life was perfect and today nothing's changed, so why do I feel like this? I finally found someone I really care about. I'm finally able to open up to another person. I'm getting everything I've wanted for so long and I'm terrified to take it.
and my friendships... that's another thing. I feel like all of my friendships are fake. Every single one. Like the only person I can be honest with is Stefy. She has no idea how much that means to me, that I can talk to her. But it's like, the people I thought loved me just don't give a rats ass and I'm realizing that now. I thought I genuinely had friends. I was wrong. Fuck this cycle, I hate it.
I'm failing almost every class I'm taking now because I dont care anymore. When did that happen? When did I lose my drive and ambition? I was going places, I had a 3.8 GPA, UCF was sending me information packets. WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with me? I can't deal with myself right now. I can't focus, I can't think. FUCK.
No one reply to this entry, thank you. I know I'm a rambling dumbass.
and my friendships... that's another thing. I feel like all of my friendships are fake. Every single one. Like the only person I can be honest with is Stefy. She has no idea how much that means to me, that I can talk to her. But it's like, the people I thought loved me just don't give a rats ass and I'm realizing that now. I thought I genuinely had friends. I was wrong. Fuck this cycle, I hate it.
I'm failing almost every class I'm taking now because I dont care anymore. When did that happen? When did I lose my drive and ambition? I was going places, I had a 3.8 GPA, UCF was sending me information packets. WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with me? I can't deal with myself right now. I can't focus, I can't think. FUCK.
No one reply to this entry, thank you. I know I'm a rambling dumbass.