i love cranberry raisinets.
"hey, lauren...welcome back"
"oh thanks, livejournal, for accepting me back into the circle, even though i constantly abandon you for long periods of time"
"I'm always here when you need me, you know that"
"yes, livejournal....and speaking of which....."
BAHHHHHHHH. summer. is almost. OVER.
::tears rain down::
let's start by saying that summer has been pretty awesome...and i use that term RELATIVE to the winter/spring which SUCKED MY ASS.
had a great vacation in niagra falls with heather and melissa [and her adorable children]. saw movies and concerts and visited coney island a few times. went to the beach, drank at adam's home made bar, and saw plenty of friends for fun events like swimming in my pool and launching water balloons.
i guess i'll also mention how my mood was also elevated because adam and i have basically been back together since june. yeah...basically. i use the term "back together" very lightly, seeing as how we've not actually expressed that to anyone else, or even eachother. but for the entire summer, something had clicked and it was just like when we first started dating....absolutely BLISSFUL. minus the lame ass crap about how he won't introduce me to people as his girlfriend or make it known that he's in a relationship. but he's also completely dropped that clown vicky [or at least, he's not talking to her when he's with me and we're together a lottttt] and he's making plans with me every weekend. and i keep trying to work up the nerve to talk to him about it all, but it seems i've been in this position before and every time i try to talk to him about defining what's going on between us, he freaks out and avoids me for a week. meanwhile, i don't want a single thing to change but i just want to know that the hell he's thinking. SOS. SAME OLD STORY.
last night i had this dream that adam and i were out at a bar and everyone was there. i'm talkin' all my friends from high school and college, my brother and sister in law, adams brother and sister in law...like everybody....and adam tackles me to the ground in the middle of the bar, and i'm about to be really angry and embarassed until he whispers in my ear "I love you" and I'm overwhelmed with this calm, serene, and beautiful feeling. and then, I WAKE UP. confused as all hell, because the dream was a real-enough scenario that it could have happened and it took me an hour and a shower later before I could piece together that the dream wasn't actually real.
i don't know what that means, but i can only assume that i'm not going to feel okay with things until adam works up the nerve to admit he's in this thing, or out of it. i had this halfsky halfsky bullshit. it ain't right. i know i deserve better. but i'm so happy when we're together and the thought of feeling like i did all winter and spring makes me freak out. so anyway, there's my end of summer bitch rant. hopefully i'll have something more solid to report soon. and hopefully i'll sleep a little better tonight, since after my dream, i tossed and turned for 4 hours until i ended up going for an early morning bike-ride to get my mind off it.
having a sexy new bike helps. but man, is my vagina sore.
stupid saddle seats.
"oh thanks, livejournal, for accepting me back into the circle, even though i constantly abandon you for long periods of time"
"I'm always here when you need me, you know that"
"yes, livejournal....and speaking of which....."
BAHHHHHHHH. summer. is almost. OVER.
::tears rain down::
let's start by saying that summer has been pretty awesome...and i use that term RELATIVE to the winter/spring which SUCKED MY ASS.
had a great vacation in niagra falls with heather and melissa [and her adorable children]. saw movies and concerts and visited coney island a few times. went to the beach, drank at adam's home made bar, and saw plenty of friends for fun events like swimming in my pool and launching water balloons.
i guess i'll also mention how my mood was also elevated because adam and i have basically been back together since june. yeah...basically. i use the term "back together" very lightly, seeing as how we've not actually expressed that to anyone else, or even eachother. but for the entire summer, something had clicked and it was just like when we first started dating....absolutely BLISSFUL. minus the lame ass crap about how he won't introduce me to people as his girlfriend or make it known that he's in a relationship. but he's also completely dropped that clown vicky [or at least, he's not talking to her when he's with me and we're together a lottttt] and he's making plans with me every weekend. and i keep trying to work up the nerve to talk to him about it all, but it seems i've been in this position before and every time i try to talk to him about defining what's going on between us, he freaks out and avoids me for a week. meanwhile, i don't want a single thing to change but i just want to know that the hell he's thinking. SOS. SAME OLD STORY.
last night i had this dream that adam and i were out at a bar and everyone was there. i'm talkin' all my friends from high school and college, my brother and sister in law, adams brother and sister in law...like everybody....and adam tackles me to the ground in the middle of the bar, and i'm about to be really angry and embarassed until he whispers in my ear "I love you" and I'm overwhelmed with this calm, serene, and beautiful feeling. and then, I WAKE UP. confused as all hell, because the dream was a real-enough scenario that it could have happened and it took me an hour and a shower later before I could piece together that the dream wasn't actually real.
i don't know what that means, but i can only assume that i'm not going to feel okay with things until adam works up the nerve to admit he's in this thing, or out of it. i had this halfsky halfsky bullshit. it ain't right. i know i deserve better. but i'm so happy when we're together and the thought of feeling like i did all winter and spring makes me freak out. so anyway, there's my end of summer bitch rant. hopefully i'll have something more solid to report soon. and hopefully i'll sleep a little better tonight, since after my dream, i tossed and turned for 4 hours until i ended up going for an early morning bike-ride to get my mind off it.
having a sexy new bike helps. but man, is my vagina sore.
stupid saddle seats.