(no subject)
this is probably the longest post i have ever made and will ever make.
you dont have to read it
tonight i honestly can say i started realizing a lot of things.... i havent really told anyone this but that night when he did that to me...when i was running down 41 crying, i honestly wanted to get hit...i was so humiliated and i just started thinking about how much my life really does suck and i dont even have a mom to go run home to comfort me ...i hate having so many emotions building up and i cant really let out to anybody. its really hard. that night i felt like a piece of trash. i am so tired of this stupid thing everyone has stuck in their head ..it seems like everybody is just craving for attention and trying to fit in and be cool. i am a weak person because i let myself forgive people to easily. why did i forgive chris he fucking made me lose it..i wanted to die and it was all fun and games...he said sorry like he meant it...but then he went around and peed on other girls and humiliated them...i dont understand how you can be sorry for something when you are going to go around doing the same fucking thing over and over again. maybe that is where i am weak...humiliation. but what the fuck is wrong with people? why do so many want to be accecpted by people that dont even respect them? maybe i just didnt want to accept the fact that people are so awful..but now i know ..Friday night jenny gave crazyjames 12$ for his bday and she drove him aruond....he dented her car roof, threw mustard all over it and on me, threw cake...Chris peed in a plastic bag in the back of the car..troy said everything in his power to make bethany cry...chris peed on caroline when she was just getting done throwing up...and this never occured to me until right now..how the fuck can i be friends with people like that? fuck people that think they are better and can walk all over me and my friends..what the fuck does peeing on someone or trashing somebodys car that does everything for you or making somebody you once loved cry for no reason have to do with being "SOMEBODY" anyways...i can go pee in a fucking cup right now and pour it on u, i can trash your car...but what is that proving? that im better cause i have the balls to humiliate somebody or fuck up the car they drive you around in? i liked him and i thought he was a really awesome person..and i forgave him for making me lose it. and right now i dont even know why. JENNY is caring and amazing, BETHANY is beautiful. CAROLINE is my best friend and let me live with her when i had no where else to go. and here i am not even being a friend and not really defending any of you. fuck what people think and fuck being weak. im through
Jon Amanda Jordynn and Bethany thank you for making me laugh tonight i love you<3
you dont have to read it
tonight i honestly can say i started realizing a lot of things.... i havent really told anyone this but that night when he did that to me...when i was running down 41 crying, i honestly wanted to get hit...i was so humiliated and i just started thinking about how much my life really does suck and i dont even have a mom to go run home to comfort me ...i hate having so many emotions building up and i cant really let out to anybody. its really hard. that night i felt like a piece of trash. i am so tired of this stupid thing everyone has stuck in their head ..it seems like everybody is just craving for attention and trying to fit in and be cool. i am a weak person because i let myself forgive people to easily. why did i forgive chris he fucking made me lose it..i wanted to die and it was all fun and games...he said sorry like he meant it...but then he went around and peed on other girls and humiliated them...i dont understand how you can be sorry for something when you are going to go around doing the same fucking thing over and over again. maybe that is where i am weak...humiliation. but what the fuck is wrong with people? why do so many want to be accecpted by people that dont even respect them? maybe i just didnt want to accept the fact that people are so awful..but now i know ..Friday night jenny gave crazyjames 12$ for his bday and she drove him aruond....he dented her car roof, threw mustard all over it and on me, threw cake...Chris peed in a plastic bag in the back of the car..troy said everything in his power to make bethany cry...chris peed on caroline when she was just getting done throwing up...and this never occured to me until right now..how the fuck can i be friends with people like that? fuck people that think they are better and can walk all over me and my friends..what the fuck does peeing on someone or trashing somebodys car that does everything for you or making somebody you once loved cry for no reason have to do with being "SOMEBODY" anyways...i can go pee in a fucking cup right now and pour it on u, i can trash your car...but what is that proving? that im better cause i have the balls to humiliate somebody or fuck up the car they drive you around in? i liked him and i thought he was a really awesome person..and i forgave him for making me lose it. and right now i dont even know why. JENNY is caring and amazing, BETHANY is beautiful. CAROLINE is my best friend and let me live with her when i had no where else to go. and here i am not even being a friend and not really defending any of you. fuck what people think and fuck being weak. im through
Jon Amanda Jordynn and Bethany thank you for making me laugh tonight i love you<3