There's such a sad love deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel open and closed...
It's on a night like this that I would generally say alot, having nothing specific I actually want to say, but I'm thinking about alot of things, and I feel marginally better about some things that I was just trying not to think about, uni things. But I kind of talked them through with Emma tonight and I feel like a small weight has been taken off my shoulders. But yes, it's fair to say that doing the best I can is not good enough. I have to go above and beyond. I just have to. And I know, I know I can. I just have to make myself do it and therein lies the problem.
But of all the things I don't have to say, that will not become one I talk about. I'll just restress the now unstressed bits.
I actually could have gotten away with watching HP5 as my parents are still out, but it's too late to start now.
Robin Hood was SHITE. They messed it up so completely and utterly that I don't know if they can bring it back from that and I don't know if I would watch it. I mean of all people to kill of, they killed off MARION, the only character apart from Robin that THEY CAN'T KILL OFF. and the main heroine. And now that Will Scarlett is staying in the holy land with his "love" Jack (girl)- we are two less main characters and more importantly we are less another key figure in the RH mythos (I love saying mythos it makes me feel scholarly)- who's next to die? Little John? We gotta get a Friar Tuck in the next season. Which I won't watch. Because Guy will be more evil with no Marion to moon over (since he FRIGGING KILLED HER!) and Robin will be either pathetic or killer due to Marion's death. Fucking writers. Why didn't they go on strike too?
I watched "something to talk about" AGAIN today, I don't know why, but I really love that film even though it's a horrible portrayal of women. The sister comes out with the best lines though. It's all about Julia Roberts whose husband, Dennis Quaid. cheats on her not even once but like 2-3 times and though she poisons him (that was good), she ends up taking him back (though they start again). Not only that but her mother finds out that her own husband has had an affair and locks him out of the house, but when he suffers a disappointment, she lets him back in. So basically all these women who suffer humiliating disrespect from their husbands, make their situations even more embarrassing by taking them back. But it's just so funny that I watch it every time it comes on. And I love love love Gena Rowlands. She was in the Notebook.
Anyway my mum ended up watching it with me and got really annoyed with the characters and laughed evilly when the men got punished. See where I get it from?
They're home now.
Couple of days left in this country and I have loads I still want to do, I want to see Max and Emma and crystals! There's just not enough time for everything.
I can't get rid of the pain in my mouth and it's really irritating me seeing as I only went to the dentist like 2 days ago.
I'm generally annoyed I suppose and god have I said recently how much I love paganism, because I really do even though I rarely take the time away from everything else just for it. But it hits me hard sometimes. Especially when i remember how into it I used to be and how much i wish I was still. But then I suppose it's like alot of things in my life, I have to make a space for them and I don't.
Which would be the perfect time to make a new year's resolution but I don't really make them because they never last and one should never make them over big huge things.
Heehee, Margil sat with my parents at his house after dinner. I love the way my parents tell me these things, with a twitch of their eyebrow and a lingering look out of the corner of their eyes. I like that it's the unspoken thing, makes it feel like a secret and I do appreciate secrets when they're fun. It's funnier since I've been confessing what feels like many things to Emma over the last couple of days. Little things that don't make alot of difference to anything but make me uncomfortable. And sometimes I like feeling uncomfortable, it's like that echo of cringe that I love to read, sometimes I like a bit of it in my life, but not like public humiliation 'cause that's just nasty, but like a secret that's embarrassing or potentially horrifying depending on who finds out or who you tell.
I like having things to confess because I like to horrify myself by admitting things to other people. And if there's anything absolutely ahhhhhhno at the moment it's THAT dream that I still can't get out of my head.
KB better have some Labyrinth goodness for me when i get back, 'cause I need some Jareth smirk. Speaking of smirk, HP5 extra sceneeeeees, must watch tomorrow. What I'd really like to do is something constructive for myself, a bit of drawing and oh it would be so wondiferous if I wrote something. But that's a distant dream.
Ok seriously, my cough is getting worse. It's making the scary noises now that sound like I'm coughing up a lung or two. Now I'm starting to get a headache.
I need to finish this really huge fanfic. It's a Drarry with its active ingredients being Narcissa/Lucius/Remus/Tonks/Ron/Hermione/Blaise/Krum and more recently Snape. And Harry has just killed Voldie in a duel which was broadcasted on the radio and really silly. But up to then it was actually ok. Started off as a Ginny/Harry and that shit right there is just nasty. Canon. I spit on the word.
God I'd like a really fantastic veela fic like the good old days, or a witty snupin or a seductive snarry. Something short enough to hold my scattered interest, but long enough to last a bit. Except noone writes Snupin anymore and Snarrys are all pathetic with their harrys all blinking children which is kinda gross. And I'm not really into extreme dom/sub at the moment. Sigh. I guess I'm just not into fanfic at the moment. Because MY FAVOURITE ONE IS AT A CRUCIAL STAGE AND IT ISN'T BEING UPDATED!!!! Strangely my favourite fanfic is a Snermione which I've actually gone completely off cos noone writes it right anymore, except for this author who writes it so beautifully and perfect that I almost cry when she gets the characterisation so the way I want it.
Anyway. Off fanfic. Cause that would last a long long time.
Hook/Wendy god I haven't read some decent stuff of that for a million years, it's like not being allowed cheese (for me) or chocolate (for anyone normal) or alcohol (for the alcoholics among us). Hook/Wendy has so many wonderful possibilities and noone wants to exploooore them, much like Sarah/Jareth (come on it's wonderfully canon!!!) or JD/Cox. Oh yes they all love oneshots, but not the good stuff. Bah. Anyway, seriously I'm getting off the topic now.
But I'm still thinking about it.
And bittttttter.
Like a lemon.
I want a lemony fanfic!
Right. Now. I'm just going to leave otherwise I'll rave on about fanfic.
)0(
But of all the things I don't have to say, that will not become one I talk about. I'll just restress the now unstressed bits.
I actually could have gotten away with watching HP5 as my parents are still out, but it's too late to start now.
Robin Hood was SHITE. They messed it up so completely and utterly that I don't know if they can bring it back from that and I don't know if I would watch it. I mean of all people to kill of, they killed off MARION, the only character apart from Robin that THEY CAN'T KILL OFF. and the main heroine. And now that Will Scarlett is staying in the holy land with his "love" Jack (girl)- we are two less main characters and more importantly we are less another key figure in the RH mythos (I love saying mythos it makes me feel scholarly)- who's next to die? Little John? We gotta get a Friar Tuck in the next season. Which I won't watch. Because Guy will be more evil with no Marion to moon over (since he FRIGGING KILLED HER!) and Robin will be either pathetic or killer due to Marion's death. Fucking writers. Why didn't they go on strike too?
I watched "something to talk about" AGAIN today, I don't know why, but I really love that film even though it's a horrible portrayal of women. The sister comes out with the best lines though. It's all about Julia Roberts whose husband, Dennis Quaid. cheats on her not even once but like 2-3 times and though she poisons him (that was good), she ends up taking him back (though they start again). Not only that but her mother finds out that her own husband has had an affair and locks him out of the house, but when he suffers a disappointment, she lets him back in. So basically all these women who suffer humiliating disrespect from their husbands, make their situations even more embarrassing by taking them back. But it's just so funny that I watch it every time it comes on. And I love love love Gena Rowlands. She was in the Notebook.
Anyway my mum ended up watching it with me and got really annoyed with the characters and laughed evilly when the men got punished. See where I get it from?
They're home now.
Couple of days left in this country and I have loads I still want to do, I want to see Max and Emma and crystals! There's just not enough time for everything.
I can't get rid of the pain in my mouth and it's really irritating me seeing as I only went to the dentist like 2 days ago.
I'm generally annoyed I suppose and god have I said recently how much I love paganism, because I really do even though I rarely take the time away from everything else just for it. But it hits me hard sometimes. Especially when i remember how into it I used to be and how much i wish I was still. But then I suppose it's like alot of things in my life, I have to make a space for them and I don't.
Which would be the perfect time to make a new year's resolution but I don't really make them because they never last and one should never make them over big huge things.
Heehee, Margil sat with my parents at his house after dinner. I love the way my parents tell me these things, with a twitch of their eyebrow and a lingering look out of the corner of their eyes. I like that it's the unspoken thing, makes it feel like a secret and I do appreciate secrets when they're fun. It's funnier since I've been confessing what feels like many things to Emma over the last couple of days. Little things that don't make alot of difference to anything but make me uncomfortable. And sometimes I like feeling uncomfortable, it's like that echo of cringe that I love to read, sometimes I like a bit of it in my life, but not like public humiliation 'cause that's just nasty, but like a secret that's embarrassing or potentially horrifying depending on who finds out or who you tell.
I like having things to confess because I like to horrify myself by admitting things to other people. And if there's anything absolutely ahhhhhhno at the moment it's THAT dream that I still can't get out of my head.
KB better have some Labyrinth goodness for me when i get back, 'cause I need some Jareth smirk. Speaking of smirk, HP5 extra sceneeeeees, must watch tomorrow. What I'd really like to do is something constructive for myself, a bit of drawing and oh it would be so wondiferous if I wrote something. But that's a distant dream.
Ok seriously, my cough is getting worse. It's making the scary noises now that sound like I'm coughing up a lung or two. Now I'm starting to get a headache.
I need to finish this really huge fanfic. It's a Drarry with its active ingredients being Narcissa/Lucius/Remus/Tonks/Ron/Hermione/Blaise/Krum and more recently Snape. And Harry has just killed Voldie in a duel which was broadcasted on the radio and really silly. But up to then it was actually ok. Started off as a Ginny/Harry and that shit right there is just nasty. Canon. I spit on the word.
God I'd like a really fantastic veela fic like the good old days, or a witty snupin or a seductive snarry. Something short enough to hold my scattered interest, but long enough to last a bit. Except noone writes Snupin anymore and Snarrys are all pathetic with their harrys all blinking children which is kinda gross. And I'm not really into extreme dom/sub at the moment. Sigh. I guess I'm just not into fanfic at the moment. Because MY FAVOURITE ONE IS AT A CRUCIAL STAGE AND IT ISN'T BEING UPDATED!!!! Strangely my favourite fanfic is a Snermione which I've actually gone completely off cos noone writes it right anymore, except for this author who writes it so beautifully and perfect that I almost cry when she gets the characterisation so the way I want it.
Anyway. Off fanfic. Cause that would last a long long time.
Hook/Wendy god I haven't read some decent stuff of that for a million years, it's like not being allowed cheese (for me) or chocolate (for anyone normal) or alcohol (for the alcoholics among us). Hook/Wendy has so many wonderful possibilities and noone wants to exploooore them, much like Sarah/Jareth (come on it's wonderfully canon!!!) or JD/Cox. Oh yes they all love oneshots, but not the good stuff. Bah. Anyway, seriously I'm getting off the topic now.
But I'm still thinking about it.
And bittttttter.
Like a lemon.
I want a lemony fanfic!
Right. Now. I'm just going to leave otherwise I'll rave on about fanfic.
)0(