Last night's frivolity
Last night did not go the way I planned. :-/
I bought my parents tickets to see Aladdin at the grand Opera House, it's panto season and I know they love it. They shout back to the actors like children, I however do NOT like pantomimes (small children, stupid jokes, bad singing, mess up of decent storylines), hence the TWO tickets and not three.
Anyway, my dad decides that mum actually told him he had to be home from work by 7.30pm and therefore will not be home in time from Derry, as it begins at 7.30 and they had to leave by the latest 6.45. Mum tells me I have to go with her. you can imagine my expression of dawning horror. Especially since this was at 6.15pm and I hadn't had a shower that day. Hoorah.
So I had to go to the theatre, in place of my dad, UNshowered, with greasy hair and a pained expression on my hurriedly-makeuped face, thinking that the only highlight of the evening was going to be May McFetridge slagging off the front row with comments such as "it's not halloween anymore love, take off the face" and "your face looks like a slapped arse, where do you live? All over Belfast? -gypo-" And I wasn't disappointed, there was plenty of that. Along with him/her messing up lines, missing lines all together, being generally confused and out of breath.
We were in such a hurry to get in that we FORGOT to get the 3D glasses, so the first half we found rather amusing because we were watching the cast exclaim over things that weren't flying over their heads while the rest of the audience gasped and ducked.
The woman next to me found the entire thing HILARIOUS, unfortunately she laughed like AN ACTUAL DONKEY. Even the small child infront of me turned around with a horrified expression. I thought, at first, it was a giant joke at my expense, but no, she actually laughed like that.
There was a funny scene that became rather hot as May McFetridge, dressed in Madonna-like cones on a gold lamé dress danced THE dance to Beyonce's All the Single Ladies. Which theeeeen turned into backing dancers of half naked manflesh. We were suddenly watching a strip show as alllll the women in the audience perked up and started cat-calling and giggling like teenagers. Seriously. Awesome.
HOWEVER.
The highlight of the night was a continuous occurence. It's name was Abanazar and it was the villain of the show. Oh. My. God. He was so hot that I think half the audience combusted, I melted into a puddle of gaaaaaahhhhhhh. He tried to do a funny dance which involved alot of pelvic action, somehow it only came across as OMFGFUCKINGHOTPLEASECOMEHOMEWITHME. I'm sure that was alllll over my fascinated face, luckily all was dark so noone else knew what i was thinking. Weelll, except that practically everyone else was thinking it too, even the children. Especially the gay guy in the 3rd row.
His name is Gavin Woods, he is 6 FOOT 4 seriously. TALL. He towered over every other person on the stage, including the elephant and he had the villain voice going on, we thought he was from Wales, apparently London. But growly. And hot. Long dark hair, eyeliner, stubbly beard, LONG LEATHER COAT, menacing personality. All things that make someone gah worthy I feel. I don't know why Jasmine was so against marrying him. Considering Aladdin was a small irish plop of a boy (sorry, I just had to giggle at my own wording there).
And i realise this is now becoming 3 paragraphs about how hot this actor is, but I can't help it because my mouth was hanging open and I think I was drooling and I need to live in Belfast until a) I find his 27year old body and overcome it or b) the show moves on. He was, somehow, even hot when he was singing Britney Spears' Toxic. Yeah. Still hot. I clearly did a bit of online stalking, but there isn't much to find, sadly. Apparently he only appears naked professionally. Hee.Want.
Anyway, moving on (do we have to?!), there was an obligatory creepy guy who wouldn't moveeeeee out of my way when I tried to get past him, so I ended up basically falling into the chairs infront so that my behind would in no circumstances make contact with his hey-look-i-have-a-penis jeans. Creeeeeeep. We decided to get Macdonalds on the way home, this is fast becoming habit now of us going through the Drive-Thru (oh how it hurts!) and sitting juggling our HUGE fries and HUGE burger and HUGE milkshakes, while gossiping about I'm a Celebrity or something.
I didn't think she had noticed but when we got home I said:
I think I'm going to talk like the villain from now on.
Mum: Yeeeeeeeees, I noticed you'd started in the car on the way home....
Me: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEEEAN!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA...
And so ever since I've been on and off talking like Abanazar and it's really made this freezing cold day alot better.
Tonight is cinema aaaaand maybe dinner out? Maybe? Wait, no, it's in Carrick, I'd rather eat a chicken raw than eat in Carrick.
)0(
I bought my parents tickets to see Aladdin at the grand Opera House, it's panto season and I know they love it. They shout back to the actors like children, I however do NOT like pantomimes (small children, stupid jokes, bad singing, mess up of decent storylines), hence the TWO tickets and not three.
Anyway, my dad decides that mum actually told him he had to be home from work by 7.30pm and therefore will not be home in time from Derry, as it begins at 7.30 and they had to leave by the latest 6.45. Mum tells me I have to go with her. you can imagine my expression of dawning horror. Especially since this was at 6.15pm and I hadn't had a shower that day. Hoorah.
So I had to go to the theatre, in place of my dad, UNshowered, with greasy hair and a pained expression on my hurriedly-makeuped face, thinking that the only highlight of the evening was going to be May McFetridge slagging off the front row with comments such as "it's not halloween anymore love, take off the face" and "your face looks like a slapped arse, where do you live? All over Belfast? -gypo-" And I wasn't disappointed, there was plenty of that. Along with him/her messing up lines, missing lines all together, being generally confused and out of breath.
We were in such a hurry to get in that we FORGOT to get the 3D glasses, so the first half we found rather amusing because we were watching the cast exclaim over things that weren't flying over their heads while the rest of the audience gasped and ducked.
The woman next to me found the entire thing HILARIOUS, unfortunately she laughed like AN ACTUAL DONKEY. Even the small child infront of me turned around with a horrified expression. I thought, at first, it was a giant joke at my expense, but no, she actually laughed like that.
There was a funny scene that became rather hot as May McFetridge, dressed in Madonna-like cones on a gold lamé dress danced THE dance to Beyonce's All the Single Ladies. Which theeeeen turned into backing dancers of half naked manflesh. We were suddenly watching a strip show as alllll the women in the audience perked up and started cat-calling and giggling like teenagers. Seriously. Awesome.
HOWEVER.
The highlight of the night was a continuous occurence. It's name was Abanazar and it was the villain of the show. Oh. My. God. He was so hot that I think half the audience combusted, I melted into a puddle of gaaaaaahhhhhhh. He tried to do a funny dance which involved alot of pelvic action, somehow it only came across as OMFGFUCKINGHOTPLEASECOMEHOMEWITHME. I'm sure that was alllll over my fascinated face, luckily all was dark so noone else knew what i was thinking. Weelll, except that practically everyone else was thinking it too, even the children. Especially the gay guy in the 3rd row.
His name is Gavin Woods, he is 6 FOOT 4 seriously. TALL. He towered over every other person on the stage, including the elephant and he had the villain voice going on, we thought he was from Wales, apparently London. But growly. And hot. Long dark hair, eyeliner, stubbly beard, LONG LEATHER COAT, menacing personality. All things that make someone gah worthy I feel. I don't know why Jasmine was so against marrying him. Considering Aladdin was a small irish plop of a boy (sorry, I just had to giggle at my own wording there).
And i realise this is now becoming 3 paragraphs about how hot this actor is, but I can't help it because my mouth was hanging open and I think I was drooling and I need to live in Belfast until a) I find his 27year old body and overcome it or b) the show moves on. He was, somehow, even hot when he was singing Britney Spears' Toxic. Yeah. Still hot. I clearly did a bit of online stalking, but there isn't much to find, sadly. Apparently he only appears naked professionally. Hee.Want.
Anyway, moving on (do we have to?!), there was an obligatory creepy guy who wouldn't moveeeeee out of my way when I tried to get past him, so I ended up basically falling into the chairs infront so that my behind would in no circumstances make contact with his hey-look-i-have-a-penis jeans. Creeeeeeep. We decided to get Macdonalds on the way home, this is fast becoming habit now of us going through the Drive-Thru (oh how it hurts!) and sitting juggling our HUGE fries and HUGE burger and HUGE milkshakes, while gossiping about I'm a Celebrity or something.
I didn't think she had noticed but when we got home I said:
I think I'm going to talk like the villain from now on.
Mum: Yeeeeeeeees, I noticed you'd started in the car on the way home....
Me: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEEEAN!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA...
And so ever since I've been on and off talking like Abanazar and it's really made this freezing cold day alot better.
Tonight is cinema aaaaand maybe dinner out? Maybe? Wait, no, it's in Carrick, I'd rather eat a chicken raw than eat in Carrick.
)0(