Star Trek: Into Darkness vs. Iron Man 3

[anijen21]

Wow you guys, there is a WORK UPDATE coming. So much going on, literally no time to examine it/write about it, collective sighs of "thank God she shut up for a while."

That will happen later, though. Today, with what little fragmented energy I have left, I want to talk about SUMMER MOVIES.

Comments

[anakisa]

I like Tony Stark, he's just this unapologetic alcoholic, rich dick, money wasting, sleeping around with whomever, Republican prick. But you still end up liking him, idk, I guess because even in the comics he's never really about being a hero, that's just some shit he does on the side to mask his romance with Captain America into a bromance, even though everyone fucking knows what's up (in the comics).
So I usually just let myself enjoy the movies, even though Paltrow is there and I hate her with an all burning passion, because, as you mentioned, it is about character and Stark is a strong enough character to keep you interested. So I guess I'll watch this one too.

I didn't really care for the 1st Star Trek either. I mean, Quinto? I was just like, "Oh, it's Sylar... during Halloween." Because, I mean, it is. Whomever played his dad in the 1st one was a good Vulcan, though, Jen, don't hate.
I don't care about Saldana, i just don't, not as an actress and not as a person, she's been saying some really fucked up shit regarding race and I can't wait for her to fall off the face of the earth, so it really bothers me that she's playing Uhura, a character I LOVE.
Pine is just a pockmarked Prince Charming, lbr, he's like white bread, no, not even that, I like white bread, he's like oatmeal made with water and no sugar. Idg why he's there? I mean, I guess he could be seen as attractive, or something, but I never even liked Kirk so w/e.
But tell me, Jen. TELL ME. Is Bennyhill Chasemusic really playing Khan?! Because even in the fucking 60's they got an ethnic dude to play Khan, are you telling me that in 2013 we get that white curdled milk abyssopelagic fish faced taxonomically defying abortion bucket escapee fuck?!

[anijen21]

YOU KNOW WHAT'S AWESOME IS I ACTUALLY DIDN'T HATE PALTROW IN IM:3. I don't know how they did it (well tbh they strapped her to a vertical gurney and tortured her for like half the movie) but even when she came back to life or whatever I was like U GO GOOP! I liked her! How did they do that!

wait...who played his dad in the first one? Original Sarek was p. good too, you're right. Lemme see if I can find new Sarek though...

here is a fanvid WHATEVER

IDK LIKE I GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, and maybe it's just Spock's specific human vs. Vulcan duality, but even in the first ten seconds of that video like WHAT ARE YOU DOING QUEENTO?? HAVE A REACTION TO WHAT YOUR FATHER IS TELLING YOU. SPOCK REACTS TO THINGS, JUST NOT EMOTIONALLY! GAHD

Saldana has said some fucked up things about gender too. Why are movie stars paying their handlers if their handlers continue to let them think they actually have valuable insight into difficult topics? They only end up embarrassing themselves.

okay I have to be honest I sat here with my face in my hands laughing at "pockmarked Prince Charming." I'm going to start throwing that insult at dudebros irl if you don't mind. Because YES HE IS JUST SO BLAND AND GENERIC! Like I get that he's supposed to be CUTE but I can't actively care about cute men in Hollywood unless there is SOMETHING THERE! HE IS NOTHING! HE IS THAT KID YOU WERE TOO AFRAID TO TALK TO IN HS BECAUSE HE SEEMED MYSTERIOUS BUT THEN WHEN YOU DID YOU FOUND OUT IT WAS JUST BECAUSE HE WAS DUMB AS ROCKS! CRUSH EVAPORATED!

And YES, Isa, Bumberbatch Cucumbers is fucking KHAN. Like, just read this, she says everything I have to say about it.

"white curdled milk abyssopelagic fish faced taxonomically defying abortion bucket escapee fuck"

OMG

[anakisa]

Wait, I may enjoy watching her suffer, I'm sold. But yeah, even in the other IM... I'm not going to say I didn't hate her (because even the way they wrote her was insulting, like they made her refer to accompanying one of Tony's one night stands as "taking out the trash" and that's not GOOP's fault it's the misogynistic writers', but it didn't HELP EITHER). But they manage not make make my hatred blind me to the rest of the movie, so they must be doing some movie magic shit, idek...

Yeah, but even the TOS Spock expressed emotion because his mother is human, so the issue there should be addressed as him battling himself, figuring out what/who he's meant to be and how much of each, you know, character development, not some relationship bs which ends up with him proclaiming to be emotionless while sobbing for Kirk.

You described Pine so well, omg, that is him EXACTLY. And he tries to get that smarmy thing Shatner was (lol is) doing 24/7, but he doesn't quite get there either. Like, I don't even want to punch him in the face or anything. He's just forgettable, I'm not lying when I tell you the only scenes I remember featuring Kirk were the ones with Karl Urban in them because I like him (but, as you said, what has he done lately?).

UGH I JUST READ THAT WHOLE THING AND I AM SO PRESSED LIKE LEGIT KHAN?!?!?! PLAYED BY THE WHITEST MAN MANTIS CREATURE FROM ALTAIR-4!!! HOW FUCKING RACIST CAN THEY GET IS2G!!! NEXT UP HE'LL BE PLAYING KUNTA KINTE, WHEN THE ONLY THING HE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO PLAY IS THE CREATURE FROM SPLICE!

[anijen21]

yeah I hate GOOP in 99% of her movies, but like idk, I don't hate her in IM!! Maybe she and RDJ have some legit chemistry, maybe she actually is sort of kind of an okay character, or maybe it's just because in IM:3 she was OFF SCREEN for most of it (I wanted to throw her in the ocean in IM:2 because she was just THERE so much) but yeah, movie magic or whatever it is, Pepper Potts isn't the worst.

lol omg Isa they end up doing a role-reversal of the "KHAAAAN!" scream, so Kirk is on the wrong side of the glass and Spock screams it in agony and bloodthirst and I was just like "Spock would never do that?" I GET HE HAS A DUALITY BUT EVEN SO HE IS MEASURED AND CONTAINED.

yes, exactly, it's like Shatner owns Kirk as much as Nimoy owns Spock. And I do kind of feel bad for the kids, because they have to wrangle with whether to imitate them, do something totally unique and different, or something else, and I feel like they both tried to land in the middle which just turns the performances into mush. There is such like, a sprightliness when Shatner does Kirk that's missing from Pine, he's just a slobbering manwhore and/or Participant in Boringness.

But yeah Karl Urban needs to be around more :( I guess Judge Dredd was supposed to be really underrated but I never saw it.

lol omg Splice 2: Electric Bugaloo, starring Real Human Genetic Experiment Gone Wrong Benadryl Cortisone.