The Amazing Spider-Douche

[anijen21]

I'm sorry I've been posting so much. ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT, NO I'M NOT. I need to fucking force myself to write more even if it's just shitty stream-of-consciousness livejournal entries. I've been creatively constipated for months now and IT'S AFFECTING MY SELF-ESTEEM.

And the new Spider-Man movie came out.

Comments

[kleenexcow]

I've told several people how depressed I was that there was no similar scene in this movie like there was in Tobey's first where he wakes up and realizes he's super hot. I have could watch that scene over and over and over.

Also, I was really hoping Emma Stone was going to show some initiative and destroy the fuck out of the dispersal machine while she was waiting on the antidote. I thought that's what they were going for when they had a closeup of it. Wouldn't that have made...a lot of sense?

[anijen21]

lol well I honestly think that happened because this movie was done on the cheap. I don't think they could afford to take eight months off of filming or whatever to let Andrew Garfield get ripped.

BUT YEAH TBH I WOULDN'T HAVE MINDED AN UPDATED v 2.0 VERSION OF THAT SCENE.

Fuck, see, that would have been perfect. And that's exactly what Scarlett Johansson did in Avengers, isn't it? I mean, don't get me wrong, I think she was 95% useless too but only because everyone around her was so superpowered. They kept Gwen from doing anything, probably not consciously, but only because SPIDER-MAN has to save the day, the rest is blasphemy.

Fuck I hated this movie

[anakisa]

But, l mean, I'm not an expert on Spiderman because my comic life is dedicated to Deadpool and Catwoman, but isn't he pretty much a dick in the comics? Like, from what I've read and from the appearances he's made in Deadpool's comics, that's it, that's basically who Peter Parker is: a dick.

And Gwen Stacy I mean.... SPOILER ALERT BUT NOT REALLY it kind of feels like a waste of time even featuring her in the movie since her fate is actually a major trope @ tv tropes WARNING THAT LINK TAKES YOU TO TV TROPES AKA WASTING THE REST OF YOUR DAY.

From what I know of the comics (which is little) the first movies were not very faithful to the source material when it came to Peter's personality. Which is, as I've said, dickish.

[anijen21]

The Uncle Ben story: Peter Parker - in his character as Spider-Man - is coming off an exhausting television appearance, when he spots an elderly security guard chasing a burglar named Carridine. The security guard is losing ground, and requests Spider-Man's help. Spidey refuses, claiming that "catching criminals is not my job." Later, after a night out with friends, Peter returns home and sees police cars in front of his home and Uncle Ben nowhere to be found ... only Aunt May, who is disconsolate. Peter will learn that a burglar had broke into the house to steal cash (that had been rumored to have been left there years earlier by a mob), and when Ben tried to confront him, the burglar drew his gun and fatally shot him. Peter quickly dons his costume and captures the burglar ... only to learn it was Carridine! This helps Peter realize that he might just have been given a gift and with it comes responsibility, and with it comes his solemn vow to never allow an innocent person to die.Holy shit he is a dick

[anakisa]

lol I guess because that's the version you were first introduced to.

but at least in the comics I've read he's a funny dick? I mean, I want him to fucking FAIL because he's horrible, but he is kind of funny.

in a few issues Deadpool tagged along and Peter was a massive dick to him (considering Deadpool is mentally ill because of brain cancer) and then Deadpool is all like THIS, and later on he begs Peter to help protect him because there are a bunch of criminals trying to murder him and Peter is all like, "LOL NO FUCK YOU" and Deadpool is all, "Pls let me stay at your spider-cave, bro" and Peter is like, "what?! dude, i live in an apartment. go die, bye." so Deadpool dresses up in a skimpy girly outfit implying that's the only way Peter will make an effort to save anyone.

But yeah, even with Deadpool, who is known for being a dick, Peter Parker manages to out-dick him.

[anijen21]

WELL FUCK THAT NOISE I just want the 8th-grade phantasy of a nice young down-on-his-luck smart kid who cries all the time and is super sensitive.

But lol at dressing up in a skimpy outfit, this Deadpool character, I like him.