Dec 21, 2018 22:12
My heart aches under my ribcage, throbbing against the inside of my chest. I blow out every candle, cannot see the smoke rise. Hold the warmth under the blanket. Don't let it slip away.
She can't look at me while she's frustrated. She forgets a lot of things that don't support her projections. I don't know how to work together that way. Why is my body touching yours, holding yours, kissing yours, not speaking love? Why can't you hear it? Why can't you look at me?
I'm 32 and had a revelation the other day that can change my life. But I can't fuck spontaneously right now, which I didn't even know, and am still not sure if I believe, but it's what you said, and it hurts you.
I'm lying under the blanket with my heart still. Sad about the way your world effected us, and you. Sad about mine too. Sad about how everything we talked about goes out the window if you're upset. Sad that I wanted you to leave. Sad that you did. Sad that if you hadn't I'd be feeling even worse.