(no subject)
I'm back again after another period of silence. I swear, SOMEONE must slap me so that I update this more!!! Please!
I've been in such a dark place recently, as people will know from my previous entries and for the first time in a very long time I feel like I've had a tiny bit of light appear at the end of the seemingly endless tunnel. The feelings of total hopelessness and suicide seemed to have slipped away and been replaced with less intense feelings which I'm finding a hell of a lot easier to control. I'm trying to wake up every morning and tell myself that today I'm going to keep on living and I'm happy to say that it seems to be working. I'm not sure if this a delayed reaction to the medication. If so, it's been long enough coming!
I'm currently resisting the urge to bang my head against the desk because this story will NOT be written. I sit down to write it and I have all these good ideas but they don't seem to actually end up in my notebook or on the computer screen. I currently have twenty seven pages done but it's nowhere near finished and my muse and I seem to have fallen out.
A guy I work with rapped at me the other night. It was a scary experience. I don't like rap music anyway but it was pretty terrible and I found it very hard to keep a straight face when he started going on about wanting to ride a woman like a 'Biffa truck'. For my lovely friends who don't live in the UK, a Biffa truck is a rubbish/garbage truck. Why anyone would want to be ridden like a rubbish truck I don't know. They're slow and plodding and they smell really bad.
Anyone fancy it? : )