(no subject)
i got a haircut today, i think it looks alright. i know everyone will hate it though and rip on me the entire fucking day. but whatever they can all go to hell. I have been thinking alot lately( i have nothing to do with my time) and i wonder why girls (particularly Jen and Carly) don't like me. So i thought of all the reasons why. My personality is one, and attraction is the main other one i am guessing. And then i got to thinking, am i attractive or ugly. and if i am ugly why won't someone tell me so that at least i know why girls don't like. But then also i got to thinking that beauty is in the eye of the beholder so beauty really depends on the person who is looking at something. And if it depends on the other person then really beauty doesn't exist, it is all just in someone elses head so no one is good looking or ugly it all just depends. and i guess that made me feel a bit better about my life, but ultimately it is still pointless. I keep waiting for something to happen to give me a reason to wake up in the morning but it never happens. I wonder why man as a being always hopes for things. i guess it's cause humans have the ability to desire things for more than just survival needs and such so they hope for something that would make them happy. But then i got to thinking what would really make me happy. I guess just feeling appreciated by people. i don't really feel appreciated though. but whatever at least i still have jethro tull to listen to. They're pretty sweet. oh well life goes on. maybe something cool will happen tomorrow, most likely not but just maybe.