My Time of Dying

Mar 17, 2010 21:00


Author: J.L.

Title: My Time of Dying (2/5)

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: None to speak of. Would fit anywhere in S. 2 or S. 3.

Summary: John and Elizabeth are trapped in a cave after an earthquake. The rest of the team fights to rescue them before it's too late. Gratuitous Shep Whump.

A/N: A huge thank you to my beta, Rink Rat for all her work to make this story better. You rock!

A/N 2: I take huge liberties with Shep's backstory. However, since he was barely given any I consider it fair game.


Chapter Two

Present

John coughed, blinking his eyes blearily in confusion. Time was impossible to tell in the depths of the cave; his injured shoulder made it impossible to check his watch, but he was fairly sure he’d passed out for a while. Elizabeth no longer knelt by his side. Instead, she prowled the edges of their prison.

“We already tried that,” he mumbled weakly. “Those rocks aren’t going to budge.”

“John!” Elizabeth turned to her military commander with a relieved smile. “You’re awake.”

“How long was I out?” John asked.

“A couple of hours,” Elizabeth returned to his side, squeezing his hand. She curled her fingers around his wrist; his pulse fluttered weakly.

John coughed again, wincing. Elizabeth slipped her hand under the back of his head, helping him to lift it as she put the canteen of water to his lips.

“No,” he protested. “You have to save that for yourself. I may not make it until the Daedalus arrives, but you will. You have to.”

“Drink,” she said firmly. “And we’re both going to make it. You have to believe that.”

“I thought you wanted the truth Elizabeth,” John let her tip a small amount of water onto his parched lips. Gratefully he swallowed. After taking several more sips, he let his head fall back to the blanket.

“I asked you to tell me the truth John. I didn’t ask you to give up.” Elizabeth glared at him.

John caught her hand, squeezing it slightly. “I’m a soldier. I accepted a long time ago there was a pretty good chance I was going to die out here.”

“I don’t accept that,” Elizabeth said stubbornly. “Your will to live has gotten you this far, don’t give up. Not yet. The Daedalus is coming. And don’t give up on Teyla, Ronon or Carson either, for that matter. They’re alive. If there’s any way for them to get through all that rubble, they’ll find it. You just have to hang on.”

“You are an incurable optimist,” John smiled weakly.

“And when did you become such a pessimist?” Elizabeth smiled back.

“Not a pessimist,” John shook his head, wincing. “A realist.”

“Fine then,” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “A realist. When did you become such a realist?”

“When I was twelve,” he answered quietly.

It took Elizabeth a few seconds to realize there was none of John’s usual acerbic humor in his voice. It took her a few more seconds to realize he was completely serious.

Elizabeth froze, the simple question of what happened dying on her lips. Despite the deep friendships John had made on Atlantis, he kept much of himself hidden behind impenetrable walls. That he would reveal those parts of himself to her now meant only one thing: he was slipping away. To ask him to speak about his childhood would indicate acceptance of that inevitable fact.

John coughed deeply. His eyes filled with pain, and Elizabeth thought, panic. She slid her arm under his shoulders and lifted him up. She murmured soothingly until the coughing finally eased, leaving Sheppard hanging limp against her arm. Holding back tears, she wiped flecks of blood from his lips.

“Do you breathe easier when you are sitting up?” she asked, forcing her voice to remain steady.

He nodded, not yet daring to speak lest he invite another coughing fit. Elizabeth carefully maneuvered herself behind John so he could lean against her chest. She grabbed the canteen of water. This time he didn’t fight her when she put it against his lips, just gratefully took several sips.

It took him longer this time to recover from the coughing. She could see his chest struggle to rise and fall. It was no longer rhythmic, but gasping. He wasn’t pulling in enough air. She had an overwhelming urge to tear down the rocks and dirt of the collapsed tunnel, to punch her way through so she could get John out, to get him the help he so desperately needed. Forcibly she steadied herself, the soothing words she whispered in John’s ear as much for her as for him.

John relished the feel of cool water against his throat. It felt like it was on fire; along with his chest, his shoulder, his back and just about every muscle in his body. He rested his head against Elizabeth’s shoulder. She was soft and firm at the same time and her fingers rubbed gently at his arm in smooth circles. He relaxed against her and decided this might be one of the better ways to go. He was hot and sore and the room spun and darkness kept closing in on the edges of his vision. It would be so easy just to let himself drift away.

“Talk to me John. I don’t think you should go back to sleep,” Elizabeth said sharply. She pinched his arm, hard.

“Ow!” John moaned. “You don’t…have to be…so vicious.”

“You should know better than to ignore me,” Elizabeth said lightly, even though her heart was hammering in her chest. “Try to check out on me again and I’ll show you the meaning of pain.”

John chuckled. “Ow,” he said again. “Don’t make me laugh…hurts.”

Elizabeth carefully brushed John’s hair off his sweaty brow. Now that she held him, she could feel the heat radiating from his body. Biting her lip, she knew his assessment of their situation wasn’t wrong. Twenty hours for the Daedalus to arrive might as well be an eternity. He wasn’t going to make it that long. But if she had to lose him, she would at least try to keep him with her for as long as possible.

“What happened when you were twelve?” she asked softly.

Earlier

The gate was gone. According to Teyla, a crevasse had opened up directly underneath it, pulling it down into the depths of the earth. Perhaps the gate could be saved. The Daedalus might be able to beam it back up. Rodney might be able to fix the damage to the DHD. The Secoran people relied on that gate to trade for valuable goods. But those uncertainties would need to be dealt with later. Now, John had three children to save.

John’s men had nearly finished fortifying the caves, making them as safe a place as possible for the Secoran people to hide from the Wraith when they inevitably came to this planet. But nearly hadn’t been good enough, and the children were now trapped in a section of the caves that hadn’t been completed.

Several hundred feet inside the entrance to the cave system, steel rung on rock as John swung his pickaxe at a collapsed section of the cave wall. He glanced warily at the tunnel walls. The fortifications, steel beams and braces, might well withstand Wraith explosives, but whether they would hold against Mother Nature was not a question he wanted to explore.

“Is it going to hold?” Elizabeth voiced his concern.

“The faster we do this the better,” John tossed another large rock behind him. “You should wait outside Elizabeth.”

“I can help,” she said stubbornly, digging her shovel into the soft dirt.

“Shhh….” Vaneer held up his hand. “Do you hear that?”

The rescue crew fell silent, straining to hear what Vaneer had.

A querulous wail faintly resounded in the tunnel.

“They’re just on the other side,” Ronon said as he vigorously swung his pick, chipping away at a particularly large rock.

“Careful,” John warned. “We don’t want to bring on another collapse.”

“Oh My God!” Elizabeth plunged her shovel into the dirt. “I think I’ve got it.” She whooped in triumph as her shovel thrust all the way through into empty air.

“Help us,” wafted from the other side of the collapse.

“Help me!” Elizabeth cried excitedly.

Carefully the three of them began widening the edges of the hole.

“Hold on kids, we’re coming,” John called.

“Please hurry,” a small voice warbled.

Slowly the hole expanded into a three foot crawlspace. A tiny face appeared on the other side.

“Which one are you?” John smiled at the child.

“Zander,” the boy’s tear stained face peered through the small chasm.  “Dante’s right behind me, but Risella’s trapped. We can’t get her out.” New tears welled in the small boy’s eyes.

“It’s okay,” John said encouragingly. “We’ll get her. But first, you need to climb through this hole. Think you can do that? Tell your friend Dante he comes right behind you. We’ll take care of Risella.”

Zander turned around. They heard him tell his companion to follow him through. Then the child climbed out, practically throwing himself into John’s waiting arms.

“Teyla, take him,” John ordered.

He turned back to the hole as a dust-covered Dante climbed out right after.

“Vaneer,” John handed the boy to the village leader. “Take them both to Carson, get them checked out. I’ll climb in and get Risella. As soon as I hand her to you, Elizabeth, get her out of here and to Carson.”

“Be careful John,” Teyla called as she hefted the small child in her arms and followed Vaneer out of the tunnel.

John pushed his way through the small hole, his shoulders hitting the edges, and sticking.  He struggled to move forward, scraping his shoulder against the rocky edges of the hole. He felt something push against his feet and realized it was Ronon, shoving his body through the too small space.

“Easy big guy,” John gasped. But then he was through, toppling to the sandy floor of the cave.

As John righted himself, he glanced around the cave to catch his bearings. Wireless torches threw dim light over the cavern. He recognized the chamber as one of the many rest areas scattered throughout the cave system. The place was a wreck. The tables and chairs designed to make a stay in the caves more comfortable were now simply pieces of debris.  A choking sob drew his attention to the far corner.

“Risella,” he called softly. “Can you move?”

“My leg,” the little girl whimpered. “It’s stuck.”

John moved to the girl’s side, sucking in a breath when he finally got a look at her. One of the beams the Secorans had used to shore up the cave walls had come down right on top of the tow-headed child. She was pinned. He glanced around the cave, hoping to find something he could use to lever the beam off the girl.

“Hang in there, Risella,” John said encouragingly. “I’m gonna get you out of there. Anything else hurt besides your leg?”

“My stomach,” Risella’s eyes grew teary. “I’m scared.”

“I know you are sweetheart,” John knelt next to the girl. “I’m just going to look at your stomach, okay?” He gently moved her shirt up. He clenched his jaw, struggling not to let his dismay show on his face lest it terrify the girl even more. She had a large deep bruise across her midsection. She would need to be moved from under the beam with as little jostling as possible. He patted her hand. “It’s going to be okay. Just give me a second.”

John moved back to the opening in the collapsed tunnel. He saw Ronon’s and Elizabeth’s concerned faces on the other side. “I’m gonna need some help. She’s pinned down pretty good, and she might be bleeding internally. Someone needs to pull her out from under the beam while I lift it up.”

“I’ll do it,” Elizabeth put her hands on either side of the opening.

“Not a chance,” John growled.

“Ronon’s too big,” Elizabeth said calmly. “You barely made it through yourself and we don’t have time to wait for you and Ronon to make the hole bigger.”

“Fine,” John said reluctantly. He moved through the cavern, trying to find something to pry the beam up. He’d just settled on a leg of one of the destroyed tables when Elizabeth clambered through the small hole. She brushed the dirt from her clothing and moved quickly to the trapped girl’s side.

“Risella,” she said soothingly. “Just hang in there a little longer.” She glanced up at John. “You ready?”

John nodded, setting the table leg underneath the beam. Elizabeth gripped the girl under her shoulders.  John pressed down on the table leg, straining to lift up the beam still wedged deeply in the walls of the cave.  Slowly it lifted and Elizabeth pulled Risella free.

John swiftly lifted the girl into his arms. She sniffled, her cheeks damp with tears.

“Ronon,” John called. “Take her.” Carefully, he fed Risella through the hole, passing her off to Ronon.  “Elizabeth and I are coming out. Don’t wait for us. Get her to Carson.”

“Be careful Sheppard,” Ronon said, fixing John with a stare. He held the tiny girl as one would hold a baby, and she curled against his chest.

“Get her out of here,” John turned to Elizabeth. “You first.”

Elizabeth was just about to comply when a deep rumbling signaled the beginning of an aftershock. The cavern began to shake.

“Shit,” John yelled. “Get back. It’s coming down.”

John pushed Elizabeth in front of him, deeper into the tunnel as the cave collapsed.

Present

Elizabeth gently rubbed circles on John’s back. She watched his chest slowly rise and fall; counting the number of breaths the way Carson had taught her. Fifteen seconds and then multiply by four. His breaths were fast and shallow, and if she’d done it right his respirations were 30. Above normal. His lungs were straining to feed much needed oxygen to his body.

It felt strange holding John as she was. No, she corrected herself. It wasn’t that she was holding him; it was that he wasn’t resisting. Every time she’d ever hugged him, he’d barely been able to keep himself from pulling away. Awkward seconds would pass as if he didn’t know what to do with his own arms until finally he’d give in to the show of affection and roughly pat her on the back until she let him go.

“So, John,” she said softly. “What happened when you were twelve?”

John shifted slightly in her arms. “Did I ever tell you I had a sister?”

“No,” Elizabeth said, surprised. There was no mention of a sister in his personnel file. His father was listed as his emergency contact, but Elizabeth suspected they hadn’t spoken in years.

“Her name was Cora.” John’s voice was breathy, and he spoke in brief spurts.

Was. Elizabeth thought to herself, her heart catching in her chest.

“Blue eyes, blond hair, cute as a bug in June,” John said affectionately. “I was four years older than her and half the time she annoyed the crap out of me and the other half I loved her like crazy.”

John paused, as if gathering strength to continue. He let his head fall against Elizabeth’s shoulder. He closed his eyes. Images of Cora filled his mind’s eye. In her favorite white dress, blue ribbons in her hair; proudly seated atop Thunder, her little black pony; running carefree across the fields of his family’s estate, hair streaming in the wind.

“John?” Elizabeth touched his arm. “Stay with me.”

John opened his eyes with a start, blinking in confusion. He could have sworn he was no longer trapped in the dank little cavern. There’d been sunlight and blue skies. The feel of fresh air across his face. He’d been home. And Cora was there.

“I was twelve,” John continued shakily.  “And I was a boy, so I had a lot more freedom than Cora. After school I’d go hang out at my friend’s houses. Cora was supposed to ride the bus home. But she always wanted to come hang out with me.”

“Big brothers never want little sisters hanging out at their friends’ houses with them,” Elizabeth chuckled.

“No,” John sighed. “But she was a stubborn little thing…”

“Hmmm,” Elizabeth rubbed John’s shoulder. “Now who does that remind me of?”

John’s voice was dreamlike, continuing the story as if Elizabeth had not interrupted him. “Then one day, after school, she didn’t come home.”

“John,” Elizabeth breathed, shocked.

“Mom… Dad, they freaked. We found out Cora had never even gotten on the bus that day. She’d decided to walk to my friend Jimmy’s house. That’s where I was. But she never made it.”

“Oh, John,” Elizabeth sighed sadly.

“She was missing for months. Mom stopped getting out of bed. Dad became even more of a control freak. And my brother David threw himself into school.  None of us dealt with it very well.”

“Did they ever find her?” Elizabeth asked hesitantly.

“A year later, they caught this guy attempting to kidnap a little girl about Cora’s age. They found all kinds of things at his house, including a blue ribbon Cora always wore in her hair. He killed four other girls. He raped them, and he strangled them, and then he buried them in the woods.”

Tears welled in Elizabeth’s eyes. How many times had he been willing to sacrifice himself to save Atlantis, to save Earth? So many people, including her, owed John their lives. But he hadn’t been able to save his little sister. Her loss had been completely out of his control.

“In exchange for avoiding the death penalty, he told them where he’d buried Cora. And we finally had her funeral nearly a year to the day that she’d disappeared.” John took several shallow breaths.

“I’m surprised you didn’t become a cop,” Elizabeth said, forcing back her tears.

“I thought about it,” John admitted. “But the first time I took a plane up; it wasn’t a matter of choice. I knew the cockpit was where I belonged.”

John coughed, deep wracking coughs that left him shuddering in Elizabeth’s arms. His hand flew to his mouth in a vain attempt to make the coughing stop. It came away red.

“Elizabeth,” he gasped.

“John!” she cried. His body went limp, and she struggled under his weight. Wriggling out from underneath him, she gently lowered him to the pallet and placed a shaky finger on his neck.

His pulse throbbed erratically. She tapped his cheek. His hazel eyes remained closed. “John,” she yelled. She rubbed his sternum with her knuckle. “John,” she moaned softly. “Open your eyes, please.” But her pleas went unheeded.

She watched his chest rise then fall. Three. Four  “That’s one. Come on, John, breathe.” Five. Six. “Breathe, John. Don’t give up.” Seven. Eight.  She placed her hand over his chest. Felt him inhale. “Come on.” Nine. Ten. Exhale. Eleven. Twelve.

“Please John,” she whispered. “Just breathe.”

Elizabeth gripped John’s hand. His respirations had fallen to eight. He couldn’t hold on much longer. She lifted John’s hand to her face, placed his palm against her cheek and finally gave in to her tears.

shep whump, sga fic

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