I'm a ramblin' (wo)man
I've decide to do an update. When you haven't done a real update in as long as I have, its akward a little. Like talking to an old friend that you haven't talked to in awhile. Because where do you begin? To me its the same stuff different day/month/year ya know? But to the people who aren't me or in my everyday life- I'll fill you in, and we'll just say that its more for my benefit than yours...
The semester is almost over (again- yeah I'm still not getting anywhere with this school thing, and yes I'm aware I'm the one holding me back, but I figure, how can I be holding myself back from something- yeah I don't even know what for sure; I don't even have a major yet. It's rediculous- how can I be holding myself back from something I just don't want to do. And yes, I haven't taken my medication, but I have NO motivation! And a lot of people just don't get it, but a good example of my deep down mental mindset is that of a homeless person, meaning that if it weren't for the support of others I might be in dire circumstances. Well, I say that but that's a little extreme. I guess sometimes I get down on myself for not oh- what's the thing I'm thinking of- oh yeah acomplishing anything yet. I mean picking a major just seems like it would be a good start. I go on and on about this because the other day I was talking to Kimberly, yeah y'all remember her! Anyway- I said something about not having a major and she almost choked. And it made me realize oh man, that IS weird that I haven't done anything academically signifigant in the oh let's say 4 years of on and off again school. I was recently so proud to have made sophmore status just to shed some light on what I'm talking about. Some of you may ask how its possible for someone to be such a slacker but I don't bother. I think a lot of my past problems have definately played a part. I have to ask myself almost every mid-semester I reach if I will ever get through school.
[grrr interruption]
Anyway, yeah there are things to look forward to- I HAVE to get a job the beginning of next year. I'm going to Arizona for Christmas and Stephen is staying in Ellijay with his folks. Kinda depressing but I'm dealing. Deedle dee- what else. I don't know I got distracted again. Its just hard to concentrate on something that I'm just too familiar with.
Does anyone catch "The Swan" on a regular basis? I can't get enough of that show. It is the biggest freak show ever. My roommate always likes sad humor stuff- or something like Seinfeld/Curb Your Enthusiasm, and honestly it isn't my type of humor. Anyway he caught me laughing while watching this show and he was like- gee Vickie, that's sure mean of you. But come on. If someone tells you that you're a masculine freak of nature and that in order to even be "beautiful" you have to undergo the most painful surguries of your life- or even to meet their standards of womanly. Or their standards period. And you agree? Maybe you ladies can't get a date because you hate yourself, and if you hate yourself it makes it hard for other people to like you (I know! You can probably go thru some of my archived posts and see that I think that because I was that person! oh its like a truely beautiful transformation! OK I'm done.)
So there a source of comedy for me.
Also I've been downloading movies and tv shows. I feel guilty about it too! But then I went to see a movie at the theatre and $18 later all I got was a date with the boyfriend to a crappy movie. I mean you can't expect me to resist downloading movies if you're going to charge too much for the crappiest crap. I used to feel bad about downloading music too, but see I had one too many CDs that scratched and replacing it- phfft. (and I get tired of some music- I remember the first cd I ever bought was the B-52s and the CD cost $18!!! NO LIE. Now keep in mind this at least 10 years ago. Rediculous.)
Well that does it for this month's post.
The semester is almost over (again- yeah I'm still not getting anywhere with this school thing, and yes I'm aware I'm the one holding me back, but I figure, how can I be holding myself back from something- yeah I don't even know what for sure; I don't even have a major yet. It's rediculous- how can I be holding myself back from something I just don't want to do. And yes, I haven't taken my medication, but I have NO motivation! And a lot of people just don't get it, but a good example of my deep down mental mindset is that of a homeless person, meaning that if it weren't for the support of others I might be in dire circumstances. Well, I say that but that's a little extreme. I guess sometimes I get down on myself for not oh- what's the thing I'm thinking of- oh yeah acomplishing anything yet. I mean picking a major just seems like it would be a good start. I go on and on about this because the other day I was talking to Kimberly, yeah y'all remember her! Anyway- I said something about not having a major and she almost choked. And it made me realize oh man, that IS weird that I haven't done anything academically signifigant in the oh let's say 4 years of on and off again school. I was recently so proud to have made sophmore status just to shed some light on what I'm talking about. Some of you may ask how its possible for someone to be such a slacker but I don't bother. I think a lot of my past problems have definately played a part. I have to ask myself almost every mid-semester I reach if I will ever get through school.
[grrr interruption]
Anyway, yeah there are things to look forward to- I HAVE to get a job the beginning of next year. I'm going to Arizona for Christmas and Stephen is staying in Ellijay with his folks. Kinda depressing but I'm dealing. Deedle dee- what else. I don't know I got distracted again. Its just hard to concentrate on something that I'm just too familiar with.
Does anyone catch "The Swan" on a regular basis? I can't get enough of that show. It is the biggest freak show ever. My roommate always likes sad humor stuff- or something like Seinfeld/Curb Your Enthusiasm, and honestly it isn't my type of humor. Anyway he caught me laughing while watching this show and he was like- gee Vickie, that's sure mean of you. But come on. If someone tells you that you're a masculine freak of nature and that in order to even be "beautiful" you have to undergo the most painful surguries of your life- or even to meet their standards of womanly. Or their standards period. And you agree? Maybe you ladies can't get a date because you hate yourself, and if you hate yourself it makes it hard for other people to like you (I know! You can probably go thru some of my archived posts and see that I think that because I was that person! oh its like a truely beautiful transformation! OK I'm done.)
So there a source of comedy for me.
Also I've been downloading movies and tv shows. I feel guilty about it too! But then I went to see a movie at the theatre and $18 later all I got was a date with the boyfriend to a crappy movie. I mean you can't expect me to resist downloading movies if you're going to charge too much for the crappiest crap. I used to feel bad about downloading music too, but see I had one too many CDs that scratched and replacing it- phfft. (and I get tired of some music- I remember the first cd I ever bought was the B-52s and the CD cost $18!!! NO LIE. Now keep in mind this at least 10 years ago. Rediculous.)
Well that does it for this month's post.