suck it up

[angstcandy]

I feel like I'm useless and that all of this is a waste of my time. I'll keep going with these random, bipolar cycles of eating and not eating, purging, taking pills until every part of me is so messed up that I can't function normally. So I'll quit for a while, you know, and try to live a satisfactory life with the idea that I'm going to stay this way.

And then something happens, and I cry miserably, so I change my mind. It's a disgusting circle, and I wonder how far I'll go before I collapse.