The Shallow Fangirl: The Hair-and-Fashion Raw Report 4.07.13
[written for Tumblr] A reminder that this "report" is basically a bunch of my unsubstantiated opinions. Clearly I have my tastes and biases. Also, yes, I will admit that I'm blatantly and aggressively objectifying the wrestlers in response to the whole "let's respect the wrestlers for wrestling" thing. Which I find ridiculous, because let's face it, wrestlers have a LOT in common with strippers if you think about it.
Really, just think about it. [/written for Tumblr]
BTW, I quit trying to cap, because my, uh, version is low quality and I found myself rewatching the Miz's entrance 23048230943 times just to cap his stupid jacket and I can't stand the Miz. So, WWE digitals instead. Thanks, WWE.
I need people to stop talking about what an amazing wrestler Daniel Bryan is. Because we need to be talking about how there is an incredibly hot man underneath all that beard. LOOK AT HIM. When yesdrizella showed me a clip of him on NXT S4 as Derrick Bateman's pro? My reaction was this :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O
Gentle readers, I've been through pasty white American Dragon, hooded cloak World's Sexiest Beard Bryan Danielson (it was not sexy, trust me). Never in a million years did I figure there's a hot dude there. Apparently all he needed was a good haircut and a tan. And nice clothes. Sweater-over-dress shirt and slacks. He was wearing that on NXT S4. ;ajfdlkjaf;dljakljalkd;j alkdf;jalf dk;afd. But no. No hotness for us. Guess we'll just have to watch him wrestle and stuff. Yawn.
I don't think I can beat this comment I saw about Miz's jacket: it looks like it was stitched together from leftover scraps from 'Taker's Ministry of Darkness outfits.
I do suppose I appreciate the fastenings which don't close together so you can see chest, and the way the lines flare out in a triangle, framing Miz's crotch quite nicely. Too bad I have no interest in looking at the Miz's body. Points for trying though. I'm sure there are Miz fangirls who appreciate it.
I shrunk this pic down to keep it from poking anybody's eye out. Wade is REALLY happy to be IC champ again.
I skipped doing a report last week because I didn't have much to say fashion-wise. However, last Raw did have Wade coming out in his snazzy three-quarter jacket, so I'm glad he has deemed Raw worthy once more to show off his lovely coat. Apparently he did this week, too, except he got a jobber entrance so we didn't get to see it. Cries. I love his ring entrance. The way Wade surges up and the jacket flies off his shoulders, the royal purple lining billowing behind him. Ngh.
I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT WADE OKAY
I'm still really torn about his hair and his beard. I think I said my feelings about it can fill up five paragraphs. Look, I'm thisclose to, uh, grabbing a 720p release of Elimination Chamber 2012 so I can cap Wade's hair. That's how fucking obsessed I am. ;_;
MOVING ON.
Look at that ass-hugging material, so shiny, so pink, so sparkly. Now Dolph just needs to get some deep conditioning treatment for his hair, and then he'd be perfect.
PUT SOME GODDAMN KNEE PADS ON JEEZ BIG E.
Fandango's outfit is really... understated? I don't know how to feel about this. When he's been so bright and shiny. I'm also really unsure about his posing logo being on his pants. Or rather, the positioning of them on the front of his thighs like that. I think they'd work better on the side.
His lady dance partner -- who really needs a name goddammit -- is flawless as always though.
I'm not a big fan of Jericho's switch to brief-style trunks, because I actually think he looks better in long tights, which is a rare thing for me to say. However, those are snazzy shiny trunks! I like them! Look at his kick pads! It's a great shade of purple.
More than that, haha, they match the accent in Fandango's pants! Truly excellent job, boys. A++
I don't know how to describe why I love the Bella Twins' outfits, but I just really really do. They look fabulous, interesting, and accentuate the women's bodies.
Oh wait I guess I just did describe why I love them, haha.
BTW, because I skipped last week, I didn't get to KEYBOARD SMASH over Cody and Damien wearing each other's shirts, which is one of the things that never fails to make me afk;djsalf;jdslafjdlka;f. So. Yeah. THEY WORE EACH OTHER'S SHIRTS.
AFLKSJAKFLAJFLDKA;JFDL AKJFD KLJ L;DFJ OI;JAE IORJOIAJ UERIOUJIOEUJ AOI OSADJUF O;JA OIDFHJO IAJHUWEIORIUJWAEIRUL;AJFD LAFLDJ IOWEARIO AFD
Fashion MVP of the evening: Naomi and Cameron, the Funkadactyls. It makes me really sad because these were clearly meant for Wrestlemania, but they got cut from the card, for time?! Which makes no sense. I appreciate the outfits, ladies. They are fabulous.
I didn't think it'd be possible, but here is a John Cena shirt that makes me beg for the return of the eye-blinding color shirts. WHY DOES HE HAVE THE UGLIEST MERCH? Also, I don't get why that belt graphic doesn't go all the way around. WHY DOES IT JUST FLOAT THERE, JOHN?
Ryback: incredibly colour-coordinated. Green singlet, green elbow pads, green knee pads. That's amazing. It's wonderful. I'm glad that in his spare time, between Shellshocking jobbers and yelling FEED ME MORE, he has the time to consider his outfits. Four for you, Ryback. Four for you.
Really, just think about it. [/written for Tumblr]
BTW, I quit trying to cap, because my, uh, version is low quality and I found myself rewatching the Miz's entrance 23048230943 times just to cap his stupid jacket and I can't stand the Miz. So, WWE digitals instead. Thanks, WWE.
I need people to stop talking about what an amazing wrestler Daniel Bryan is. Because we need to be talking about how there is an incredibly hot man underneath all that beard. LOOK AT HIM. When yesdrizella showed me a clip of him on NXT S4 as Derrick Bateman's pro? My reaction was this :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O :O
Gentle readers, I've been through pasty white American Dragon, hooded cloak World's Sexiest Beard Bryan Danielson (it was not sexy, trust me). Never in a million years did I figure there's a hot dude there. Apparently all he needed was a good haircut and a tan. And nice clothes. Sweater-over-dress shirt and slacks. He was wearing that on NXT S4. ;ajfdlkjaf;dljakljalkd;j alkdf;jalf dk;afd. But no. No hotness for us. Guess we'll just have to watch him wrestle and stuff. Yawn.
I don't think I can beat this comment I saw about Miz's jacket: it looks like it was stitched together from leftover scraps from 'Taker's Ministry of Darkness outfits.
I do suppose I appreciate the fastenings which don't close together so you can see chest, and the way the lines flare out in a triangle, framing Miz's crotch quite nicely. Too bad I have no interest in looking at the Miz's body. Points for trying though. I'm sure there are Miz fangirls who appreciate it.
I shrunk this pic down to keep it from poking anybody's eye out. Wade is REALLY happy to be IC champ again.
I skipped doing a report last week because I didn't have much to say fashion-wise. However, last Raw did have Wade coming out in his snazzy three-quarter jacket, so I'm glad he has deemed Raw worthy once more to show off his lovely coat. Apparently he did this week, too, except he got a jobber entrance so we didn't get to see it. Cries. I love his ring entrance. The way Wade surges up and the jacket flies off his shoulders, the royal purple lining billowing behind him. Ngh.
I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT WADE OKAY
I'm still really torn about his hair and his beard. I think I said my feelings about it can fill up five paragraphs. Look, I'm thisclose to, uh, grabbing a 720p release of Elimination Chamber 2012 so I can cap Wade's hair. That's how fucking obsessed I am. ;_;
MOVING ON.
Look at that ass-hugging material, so shiny, so pink, so sparkly. Now Dolph just needs to get some deep conditioning treatment for his hair, and then he'd be perfect.
PUT SOME GODDAMN KNEE PADS ON JEEZ BIG E.
Fandango's outfit is really... understated? I don't know how to feel about this. When he's been so bright and shiny. I'm also really unsure about his posing logo being on his pants. Or rather, the positioning of them on the front of his thighs like that. I think they'd work better on the side.
His lady dance partner -- who really needs a name goddammit -- is flawless as always though.
I'm not a big fan of Jericho's switch to brief-style trunks, because I actually think he looks better in long tights, which is a rare thing for me to say. However, those are snazzy shiny trunks! I like them! Look at his kick pads! It's a great shade of purple.
More than that, haha, they match the accent in Fandango's pants! Truly excellent job, boys. A++
I don't know how to describe why I love the Bella Twins' outfits, but I just really really do. They look fabulous, interesting, and accentuate the women's bodies.
Oh wait I guess I just did describe why I love them, haha.
BTW, because I skipped last week, I didn't get to KEYBOARD SMASH over Cody and Damien wearing each other's shirts, which is one of the things that never fails to make me afk;djsalf;jdslafjdlka;f. So. Yeah. THEY WORE EACH OTHER'S SHIRTS.
AFLKSJAKFLAJFLDKA;JFDL AKJFD KLJ L;DFJ OI;JAE IORJOIAJ UERIOUJIOEUJ AOI OSADJUF O;JA OIDFHJO IAJHUWEIORIUJWAEIRUL;AJFD LAFLDJ IOWEARIO AFD
Fashion MVP of the evening: Naomi and Cameron, the Funkadactyls. It makes me really sad because these were clearly meant for Wrestlemania, but they got cut from the card, for time?! Which makes no sense. I appreciate the outfits, ladies. They are fabulous.
I didn't think it'd be possible, but here is a John Cena shirt that makes me beg for the return of the eye-blinding color shirts. WHY DOES HE HAVE THE UGLIEST MERCH? Also, I don't get why that belt graphic doesn't go all the way around. WHY DOES IT JUST FLOAT THERE, JOHN?
Ryback: incredibly colour-coordinated. Green singlet, green elbow pads, green knee pads. That's amazing. It's wonderful. I'm glad that in his spare time, between Shellshocking jobbers and yelling FEED ME MORE, he has the time to consider his outfits. Four for you, Ryback. Four for you.