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For the first time in over a year, words in my head kept me up at night. Hell, that I got words in my head at all, period. As long as I can remember, I'd visualize and verbalize/narrate scenes in my head. Sometimes it's a writing thing, and sometimes it's just an imagination/fantasy thing. It's been quiet for over a year now though, which... I don'
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I think it can seem like one, though. Because yeah, like you said, when it's been such a huge part of your life and when there have always been those voices and images and mental film strips and scenarios, it's just... IDK, fucking strange and empty and all kinds of fucked-up to not have that constant stream in the head. Or at least it was, at first--I totally understand about the baking, because knitting/spinning/weaving filled that creative void, for me. It's still a creative activity, it has measurable results, and, as a bonus, it's kind of way less frustrating than writing. ... It also doesn't provoke nearly the same intensity of feeling (ha) as writing, but sometimes that's not a bad thing.
It's a strange limbo to be in, though, when the images and ideas are starting to reawaken yet the drive isn't there. You can sort of feel it, feel the fic-universe, but the writing skills are all rusty and words come slowly and seem all stilted and like, you know there used to be some overall rhythm to this thing, this putting-words-together thing, before.
And cripes, yes, there's totally a difference between having ideas or germs of ideas and being able to actually imagine them out or toy around with the scenarios. Or even wanting to.
I've sort of started to think of imagination as being like a muscle. If, for whatever reason(s), it doesn't get used for a long while, it can atrophy and won't function when you want it to. It's possible, though, to work it back into shape, but it's not something that happens overnight.
But sometimes I read back on what I wrote, and it's like I'm reading somebody else's fic.
OH MY GOD I KNOW. It's like... I can recognise on an intellectual level that these are my words, but the emotional connection (good or bad) isn't there.
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t's still a creative activity, it has measurable results, and, as a bonus, it's kind of way less frustrating than writing. ... It also doesn't provoke nearly the same intensity of feeling (ha) as writing, but sometimes that's not a bad thing.
THIS TOO. Definitely hell yes to the measurable results. And lol yes, a thousand times less frustrating. Though I've never set off my fire alarm with my writing, hahahaha. Ahem.
The muscle analogy is apt. I need a mental workout. Perhaps.
And LOL yes, the "wow I wrote this" can go either way.
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LMAO. Hard to do that with a pen, regardless of how fast you write.
The muscle analogy is apt. I need a mental workout. Perhaps.
I wish I could remember how I got mine back. I'm not convinced it was something I did actively, though, but I do remember that it took, well, a while. And it's still not operating at full efficiency, heh.
... Okay, I can't resist saying this: SEEKER IDEAS. ♥
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And sometimes it just happens. Not necessarily the functional aspects, like the piecing together of sentences and stuff, but the urge and inspiration. It's more spontaneous.
I've had one fic idea for a looooooooong time, but it'd be difficult to pull off. A more recent idea is so fucking epic, and that scares me off, because it'd be such hard work even if I had momentum. It's epic AU, which is so typical of me, haha.
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