coming around full circle
Ten years ago, there was this show that I loved called The Magnificent Seven. A year ago, I talked about it some. Wistful, as always, when I think about that show and its fandom. I always regretted leaving, though leaving seems to imply an intentionality that I didn't really have at the time. But I always regret it, though I never made any effort to go back afterwards, especially entrenched as I had been in wrestling. I'd read the fics on occasion. There was always that burst of nostalgia that had me rewatching old episodes and re-reading old list mail that I've kept after all these years.
I don't want to say that I'm trying now to get back into it, since I've discovered that there isn't much of a fandom anymore. It's experienced a resurgence in recent years though, thanks to the show finally having made it to DVD after so many years. But I don't really have that kind of energy and enthusiasm anymore, and besides, what I lost then, I can't get back now, and what I miss are those days. But I'm almost kinda, I don't know. Orbiting it, I guess? I'm certainly making more of an effort that I ever have in the past eight years.
In my post from a year ago, I talked about watching the final three episodes. The honest truth is that I didn't watch the very final one. I didn't until just three days ago. WTF, I know. Like, I know what happens in the episode, generally speaking but not the specifics. I couldn't bring myself to watch it because then it'd feel like the show really honestly is totally completely over. Now that I've done so, it's like... I don't even know how to describe it. I felt like it'd be closing a door, but it isn't. I AM really sad that they ended on an unsettled note. I liked the way the previous episode ended, right on a shot of Chris Larabee grinning. It would've been a nicer note to go out on.
On the fandom side of things, it's interesting to read newer people's take on things. I found a discussion the other day that basically revolved around a desire for fics to utilize more canon. Mag7 has a huge amount of fanon, even more so when you get into AU territory. What was expressed wasn't a hatred of fanon so much as people's reliance upon it, to write in this little box instead of expanding upon the source material, to tread where so many others have gone before. Which, you know, is a fairly typical issue in any fandom. But it's weird to read it as one who was there from the very beginning. I felt almost... slighted as I was reading.
The more I thought about it, I realized what it is. I understood where they were coming from. I have the same issue in wrestling. Somebody has a great idea, people hop on it, and suddenly, everyone is writing derivatives of a derivative. It's the hummus essay all over again. But what got me on a visceral level -- and I know, btw, that this isn't the intended meaning of the discussion, and I most definitely do not disparage the discussion or the people in it -- but I felt like the history of where that fanon came from was being slighted. These people weren't there. I don't mean that as some kind of an insult; that is a fact. They were not there when those pieces of fanon were being developed. I was there, and I remember. It's a missing context thing. I feel incredibly at home when I read Mag7 fics of a certain era, because I recognize the context of where these things came from. In a way, I was reading more than just a story. I was experiencing the story along with the context that gave rise to that fic.
Conversely, I was out of that fandom before the slash side really got going. Yes, believe it or not, Mag7 was mostly a gen fandom for me. This was 1998/1999. I've read slash by that point, but I was far from the rabid hardcore slasher I am now. Mag7 is where I wrote slash for the very first time, really. But I left. And now I read Mag7 slash, and it never ever feels quite right. I was reading a random person off somebody's friendslist, and she talked about this same sense of dissonance. You can't really describe it. But it's like the whole perspective from which Mag7 slash is written from just doesn't jive with mine. The approach, the underlying narrative, the emotional outlook. The fics are not all carbon copies, obviously, but those things are all kinda the same, and it feels not quite right. It feels like I'm missing a context. I wasn't there when these fics were written, when this trend was established.
So it's like... yeah, I get where those newer fans are coming from when it comes to Mag7 fanon, because I feel the same way about Mag7 slash.
Anyway, I'm gonna lurk. I don't think I've seen anybody still active now that I used to know. I was 15 back then, so everything I did was painfully stupid in hindsight, so in a way, I prefer not to be remembered. And I doubt I was all that memorable anyway. Clean slate.
On a final note: wow, I'm tempted to do a Mag7 header, except I don't want to replace Tony. :////
I don't want to say that I'm trying now to get back into it, since I've discovered that there isn't much of a fandom anymore. It's experienced a resurgence in recent years though, thanks to the show finally having made it to DVD after so many years. But I don't really have that kind of energy and enthusiasm anymore, and besides, what I lost then, I can't get back now, and what I miss are those days. But I'm almost kinda, I don't know. Orbiting it, I guess? I'm certainly making more of an effort that I ever have in the past eight years.
In my post from a year ago, I talked about watching the final three episodes. The honest truth is that I didn't watch the very final one. I didn't until just three days ago. WTF, I know. Like, I know what happens in the episode, generally speaking but not the specifics. I couldn't bring myself to watch it because then it'd feel like the show really honestly is totally completely over. Now that I've done so, it's like... I don't even know how to describe it. I felt like it'd be closing a door, but it isn't. I AM really sad that they ended on an unsettled note. I liked the way the previous episode ended, right on a shot of Chris Larabee grinning. It would've been a nicer note to go out on.
On the fandom side of things, it's interesting to read newer people's take on things. I found a discussion the other day that basically revolved around a desire for fics to utilize more canon. Mag7 has a huge amount of fanon, even more so when you get into AU territory. What was expressed wasn't a hatred of fanon so much as people's reliance upon it, to write in this little box instead of expanding upon the source material, to tread where so many others have gone before. Which, you know, is a fairly typical issue in any fandom. But it's weird to read it as one who was there from the very beginning. I felt almost... slighted as I was reading.
The more I thought about it, I realized what it is. I understood where they were coming from. I have the same issue in wrestling. Somebody has a great idea, people hop on it, and suddenly, everyone is writing derivatives of a derivative. It's the hummus essay all over again. But what got me on a visceral level -- and I know, btw, that this isn't the intended meaning of the discussion, and I most definitely do not disparage the discussion or the people in it -- but I felt like the history of where that fanon came from was being slighted. These people weren't there. I don't mean that as some kind of an insult; that is a fact. They were not there when those pieces of fanon were being developed. I was there, and I remember. It's a missing context thing. I feel incredibly at home when I read Mag7 fics of a certain era, because I recognize the context of where these things came from. In a way, I was reading more than just a story. I was experiencing the story along with the context that gave rise to that fic.
Conversely, I was out of that fandom before the slash side really got going. Yes, believe it or not, Mag7 was mostly a gen fandom for me. This was 1998/1999. I've read slash by that point, but I was far from the rabid hardcore slasher I am now. Mag7 is where I wrote slash for the very first time, really. But I left. And now I read Mag7 slash, and it never ever feels quite right. I was reading a random person off somebody's friendslist, and she talked about this same sense of dissonance. You can't really describe it. But it's like the whole perspective from which Mag7 slash is written from just doesn't jive with mine. The approach, the underlying narrative, the emotional outlook. The fics are not all carbon copies, obviously, but those things are all kinda the same, and it feels not quite right. It feels like I'm missing a context. I wasn't there when these fics were written, when this trend was established.
So it's like... yeah, I get where those newer fans are coming from when it comes to Mag7 fanon, because I feel the same way about Mag7 slash.
Anyway, I'm gonna lurk. I don't think I've seen anybody still active now that I used to know. I was 15 back then, so everything I did was painfully stupid in hindsight, so in a way, I prefer not to be remembered. And I doubt I was all that memorable anyway. Clean slate.
On a final note: wow, I'm tempted to do a Mag7 header, except I don't want to replace Tony. :////