Late and Sleepy
I should be sleeping, i'm half way there. Laying in bed. Thoughts just seem to eat away at me. There isn't very much that I to worry about right now in life. Just balancing school, working, and partying. School is going okay, I will admit that I need to work harder. I haven't been doing as well as I know I can. Just for some odd reason I can't seem to concentrate. I don't know what is going on in my head. I'm happy and content and I do love being down here. It was the best thing i've done with my life. Old worries and troubles of years gone by don't bother me anymore. It's funny you think that you'll never get over some things but you do. You go through rough times but you get through them and they make you stronger.
I'll admit that in these cold months it puts a damper on my thoughts to know that I have no one to come home to or someone that wants me to come home to them. Or evento just talk to someone in that...way. I know that sounds rediculous but I guess it has been so long since I felt that way and had that someone that it is something in my head. It's odd though, I feel like it's easier to have feelings for someone I know it could never work out with be it distance or any other reason why things couldn't work with a person but there is a certain comfort in the safety of knowing that because then I know I won't let myself feel more than I can without getting hurt.
I miss home, it feels like forever since i've been home. I don't know when i'll be able to come home again considering I work every weekend...well one day atleast. I miss my loveys back home and my daddy and mommy. Yes I still refer to my parents like that, if i'm their little girl for life they will be my mommy and daddy for life as well. But no matter how much I miss home, I know I couldn't move back. I love being on my own. I know in my heart of hearts that I am where I should be in life right now. Who knows where i'll end up while I do care I don't in the same sense. I'm living for now.
Miss you all
<3
I'll admit that in these cold months it puts a damper on my thoughts to know that I have no one to come home to or someone that wants me to come home to them. Or evento just talk to someone in that...way. I know that sounds rediculous but I guess it has been so long since I felt that way and had that someone that it is something in my head. It's odd though, I feel like it's easier to have feelings for someone I know it could never work out with be it distance or any other reason why things couldn't work with a person but there is a certain comfort in the safety of knowing that because then I know I won't let myself feel more than I can without getting hurt.
I miss home, it feels like forever since i've been home. I don't know when i'll be able to come home again considering I work every weekend...well one day atleast. I miss my loveys back home and my daddy and mommy. Yes I still refer to my parents like that, if i'm their little girl for life they will be my mommy and daddy for life as well. But no matter how much I miss home, I know I couldn't move back. I love being on my own. I know in my heart of hearts that I am where I should be in life right now. Who knows where i'll end up while I do care I don't in the same sense. I'm living for now.
Miss you all
<3