(no subject)
well it looks like bayfront it is. if i go to morton plant i may have a issue when it comes to getting my tubes tied. and thats something that i really want to do.
im having lots of cramping, but no contractions. but it will be very very soon. bryan will be leaving to go out of town on tuesday thru friday. i know this baby will come then. i dont think he really cares, and am wondering if he didnt plan it this way for a reason. i dont know. maybe im just being paranoid. but i think hes happy to be working out of town again. and i think he will be glad to miss this. both him and my mom and trying to force her way into the delivery room instead of bryan, if hes not here. i dont want her there. all she does is talk shit anyways. and its my delivery and if i choose to be LESS STRESSED OUT by it jsut being lynn, then thats the way it will be. period. its something that is stressful and painful and it will be done by my wishes. theres no reason why it should be done to where im uncomfortable or stressed out to make someone else happy. bryan doesnt care. he doesnt give a shit when i get this cramping or that im uncomfortable and cant fucking sleep. he made me get out of a bath yesterday because he needed one for his hangover. and just the way hes been towards me latly. i dont know what to think. i just know im getting sick of it. and will not live like this for much longer. i jsut cant. and the fact that im upset over all this, what will bryan and my mom say? theyre just going to call me a crazy bitch and refer to how "unstable" i am. but you know what? i am allowed to be unhappy and upset and feel emotions. im not a fucking ass kissing robot. and if thats what they want then they can all go to hell.
i dont know.
im getting nervous and anxious and ready to go. ready as someone can be. its that needle in my spine that mades me the most nervous. ugh.
will update later.
im having lots of cramping, but no contractions. but it will be very very soon. bryan will be leaving to go out of town on tuesday thru friday. i know this baby will come then. i dont think he really cares, and am wondering if he didnt plan it this way for a reason. i dont know. maybe im just being paranoid. but i think hes happy to be working out of town again. and i think he will be glad to miss this. both him and my mom and trying to force her way into the delivery room instead of bryan, if hes not here. i dont want her there. all she does is talk shit anyways. and its my delivery and if i choose to be LESS STRESSED OUT by it jsut being lynn, then thats the way it will be. period. its something that is stressful and painful and it will be done by my wishes. theres no reason why it should be done to where im uncomfortable or stressed out to make someone else happy. bryan doesnt care. he doesnt give a shit when i get this cramping or that im uncomfortable and cant fucking sleep. he made me get out of a bath yesterday because he needed one for his hangover. and just the way hes been towards me latly. i dont know what to think. i just know im getting sick of it. and will not live like this for much longer. i jsut cant. and the fact that im upset over all this, what will bryan and my mom say? theyre just going to call me a crazy bitch and refer to how "unstable" i am. but you know what? i am allowed to be unhappy and upset and feel emotions. im not a fucking ass kissing robot. and if thats what they want then they can all go to hell.
i dont know.
im getting nervous and anxious and ready to go. ready as someone can be. its that needle in my spine that mades me the most nervous. ugh.
will update later.