There are a few things everyone should do
So I joined a cult for a while.
It was fun.
I didn't realize it at the time. Maybe that's something that happens. People just don't realize it. Maybe that's how cults can even exist. It's gotta be. Why else? Or how else, to be more accurate.
But it was fun.
It was a necessary evil in my evolution as a person.
I think there are certain things that everyone should do, experiences that everyone should have, in order to be a well rounded person.
Experience number 1: A shitty part time job. For me this was Marshalls, a discounted department store. The customers were rude. They were either poor and ghetto or rich and entitled, demanding. This job taught me exactly what I don't want to do in life.
I don't want to wear a name tag for a living. I don't want to make minimum wage and struggle and be miserable.
I learned a lot of lessons from this job.
The job was way stressful. I always tried to overcome it. It was a bad relationship that I kept trying to make work but just couldn't. I tried for two years.
I'm a real trooper sometimes.
When I finally left I learned that there are some bad situations that can be fixed and some that just need to be left behind. Some problems require more effort to fix than it is really worth.
Just walk away bro, just walk away.
Experience number 2:Move to a new town where nobody knows you. When I first transferred to my university I didn't have a single friend. I hardly had any money, barely enough to buy food. I lived off of a scoop of peanut butter in the morning and spaghetti noodles at night. Sometimes I would splurge and eat off the value menu at Jack in the Box. I had about three shirts and two pairs of pants.
This was a very lonely, very scary time for me. It was tough but things got better and after two years I actually began to like it there. I was only there for two years but I left liking that place.
I made the right decision going there. I wanted to transfer to a university with a completely different culture than mine. I wanted to immerse myself in a different way of life. I just assumed I would enjoy that way of life.
My university was located in a very rich city on Orange County. The people weren't exactly warm and friendly. But I made due and eventually began to find my people.
Experience number 3: Join a cult. Hey, why not? You know you want to. Everyone is doing it. I got heavily involved with IdeaGasms. I dove right in. I thought Steph (Cult Leader) was the coolest guy ever and I loved what he was teaching:unconditional love, take no shit spirituality, Hugh Hefner style relationships with multiple women who love me and love each other.
Good times.
I became a sort of cult leader myself, or at least an influential member.
The guy taught me a lot but he turned ugly and I realized that things were never as good as I thought they were. And most of what I loved about the guy was ripped off from other people. He was passing off other peoples ideas and wisdom as his own. He wasn't living what he taught.
Steve Pavlina made a good point. What comes out of an orange when you squeeze it? Orange Juice. If you want to know what it is that you're made of look at how you react when you're squeezed. If you react with anger then in truth you're an angry person.
Steph was the coolest guy I ever met, when things were going his way. We got on really well. There's a word for it now, Bro-Mance.I was so impressed with him and I was so busy kissing his ass and wowing him with humor that I only saw him at his best. It's hard to be in a bad mood when the world is kissing your ass.
Then it happened.
Steph was squeezed.
Steph was squeezed and it wasn't unconditional love and compassion that flowed. It was venom, angry, spiteful venom.
He made it pretty easy to leave.
I'm sure he never saw it coming. I later realized he didn't respect me enough to think I would stand up to him. He thought I would grovel at his feet for forgiveness, and stay down there waiting for approval like a dog waiting for a treat.
He even said I was "biting the hand that feeds."
That's just not me. That's probably why he loved me.
I heard that he misses me.
Sorry dude, the Bro-Mance is over.
Experience number 4: Love, really love. I love Melina. She asked me to call her Leena, it's what her family calls her. However, as people in love often do, I rarely call her by name.
Babe evolved into Bubbas. It sounds silly. I always feel embarrassed admitting it to others, that I call her that.
She's Bubbas. I'm her King.
She was with me during every experience I mentioned, loving and supporting me the whole time.
We've made quite a life for ourselves together. We even have a mission statement for our relationship. "To help each other to heal. And to love and to live fully."
We've had some adventures together living that mission statement: girls, strip clubs, crazies, laughs, chakras, Ideagasms, spirituality, running our own business, living near the beach, TAT.
I've learned a lot about love. Love is the result of an open heart. Anything else is neediness. Love doesn't stop, people just close their heart because they're hurt or afraid. Love isn't something that runs out, its not something that drains you. It doesn't go stale.
It's hard to explain without sounding corny.
Its experiential. Someone who loves knows what love is.
Today my girlfriend asked me, "How does it feel to be so loved? Safe?" I said, "Yeah, safe.... like a good man." I want to be a good man. I love taking care of her. I try hard. I asked her, "How does it feel to be so loved." She said, "Safe......."
Being a guy, I can't remember everything she said but I remember the love I felt lying there with her. We love each other more and more. We've helped each other to heal so much. That's what it takes to love. Time and healing.
I guess the first three experiences are pretty pointless without the fourth.
Experience number 5: Listen to These Arms of Mine by Otis Redding
These arms of mine
They are lonely, lonely and feeling blue
These arms of mine
They are yearning, yearning from wanting you
And if you would let them hold you
Oh, how grateful I will be
These arms of mine
They are burning, burning from wanting you
These arms of mine
They are wanting, wanting to hold you
And if you would let them hold you
Oh, how grateful I will be
Come on, come on baby
Just be my little woman, just be my lover, oh
I need me somebody, somebody to treat me right, oh
I need your woman's loving arms to hold me tight
And I...I...I need...I need your...I need your tender lips
It was fun.
I didn't realize it at the time. Maybe that's something that happens. People just don't realize it. Maybe that's how cults can even exist. It's gotta be. Why else? Or how else, to be more accurate.
But it was fun.
It was a necessary evil in my evolution as a person.
I think there are certain things that everyone should do, experiences that everyone should have, in order to be a well rounded person.
Experience number 1: A shitty part time job. For me this was Marshalls, a discounted department store. The customers were rude. They were either poor and ghetto or rich and entitled, demanding. This job taught me exactly what I don't want to do in life.
I don't want to wear a name tag for a living. I don't want to make minimum wage and struggle and be miserable.
I learned a lot of lessons from this job.
The job was way stressful. I always tried to overcome it. It was a bad relationship that I kept trying to make work but just couldn't. I tried for two years.
I'm a real trooper sometimes.
When I finally left I learned that there are some bad situations that can be fixed and some that just need to be left behind. Some problems require more effort to fix than it is really worth.
Just walk away bro, just walk away.
Experience number 2:Move to a new town where nobody knows you. When I first transferred to my university I didn't have a single friend. I hardly had any money, barely enough to buy food. I lived off of a scoop of peanut butter in the morning and spaghetti noodles at night. Sometimes I would splurge and eat off the value menu at Jack in the Box. I had about three shirts and two pairs of pants.
This was a very lonely, very scary time for me. It was tough but things got better and after two years I actually began to like it there. I was only there for two years but I left liking that place.
I made the right decision going there. I wanted to transfer to a university with a completely different culture than mine. I wanted to immerse myself in a different way of life. I just assumed I would enjoy that way of life.
My university was located in a very rich city on Orange County. The people weren't exactly warm and friendly. But I made due and eventually began to find my people.
Experience number 3: Join a cult. Hey, why not? You know you want to. Everyone is doing it. I got heavily involved with IdeaGasms. I dove right in. I thought Steph (Cult Leader) was the coolest guy ever and I loved what he was teaching:unconditional love, take no shit spirituality, Hugh Hefner style relationships with multiple women who love me and love each other.
Good times.
I became a sort of cult leader myself, or at least an influential member.
The guy taught me a lot but he turned ugly and I realized that things were never as good as I thought they were. And most of what I loved about the guy was ripped off from other people. He was passing off other peoples ideas and wisdom as his own. He wasn't living what he taught.
Steve Pavlina made a good point. What comes out of an orange when you squeeze it? Orange Juice. If you want to know what it is that you're made of look at how you react when you're squeezed. If you react with anger then in truth you're an angry person.
Steph was the coolest guy I ever met, when things were going his way. We got on really well. There's a word for it now, Bro-Mance.I was so impressed with him and I was so busy kissing his ass and wowing him with humor that I only saw him at his best. It's hard to be in a bad mood when the world is kissing your ass.
Then it happened.
Steph was squeezed.
Steph was squeezed and it wasn't unconditional love and compassion that flowed. It was venom, angry, spiteful venom.
He made it pretty easy to leave.
I'm sure he never saw it coming. I later realized he didn't respect me enough to think I would stand up to him. He thought I would grovel at his feet for forgiveness, and stay down there waiting for approval like a dog waiting for a treat.
He even said I was "biting the hand that feeds."
That's just not me. That's probably why he loved me.
I heard that he misses me.
Sorry dude, the Bro-Mance is over.
Experience number 4: Love, really love. I love Melina. She asked me to call her Leena, it's what her family calls her. However, as people in love often do, I rarely call her by name.
Babe evolved into Bubbas. It sounds silly. I always feel embarrassed admitting it to others, that I call her that.
She's Bubbas. I'm her King.
She was with me during every experience I mentioned, loving and supporting me the whole time.
We've made quite a life for ourselves together. We even have a mission statement for our relationship. "To help each other to heal. And to love and to live fully."
We've had some adventures together living that mission statement: girls, strip clubs, crazies, laughs, chakras, Ideagasms, spirituality, running our own business, living near the beach, TAT.
I've learned a lot about love. Love is the result of an open heart. Anything else is neediness. Love doesn't stop, people just close their heart because they're hurt or afraid. Love isn't something that runs out, its not something that drains you. It doesn't go stale.
It's hard to explain without sounding corny.
Its experiential. Someone who loves knows what love is.
Today my girlfriend asked me, "How does it feel to be so loved? Safe?" I said, "Yeah, safe.... like a good man." I want to be a good man. I love taking care of her. I try hard. I asked her, "How does it feel to be so loved." She said, "Safe......."
Being a guy, I can't remember everything she said but I remember the love I felt lying there with her. We love each other more and more. We've helped each other to heal so much. That's what it takes to love. Time and healing.
I guess the first three experiences are pretty pointless without the fourth.
Experience number 5: Listen to These Arms of Mine by Otis Redding
These arms of mine
They are lonely, lonely and feeling blue
These arms of mine
They are yearning, yearning from wanting you
And if you would let them hold you
Oh, how grateful I will be
These arms of mine
They are burning, burning from wanting you
These arms of mine
They are wanting, wanting to hold you
And if you would let them hold you
Oh, how grateful I will be
Come on, come on baby
Just be my little woman, just be my lover, oh
I need me somebody, somebody to treat me right, oh
I need your woman's loving arms to hold me tight
And I...I...I need...I need your...I need your tender lips