(no subject)
Well, apparently I'm vain as hell, and I'm too damn stupid to get anything that I want. And for christ sakes, I can't even take not getting it. Wtf? I was told that I didn't make it in to SDS, which isn't the first thing that I've been told lately I wouldn't get to do after believing I would for a really long time. Then, in a not-so-nice comment, it was said that I basically am the worst friend ever. Aw, gee, I sure am loved by the world.
I need to just stop hoping, then I can't be let down so hard so fast. I mean, being called vain didn't hurt, it's not the first time that's happened to me. But I really thought I had a chance at that scholarship, and I just didn't. I didn't have a fucking chance in the world. And do you know what the sickest part is? I thought I had such a good chance that I actually told people about it, as a possibility. And now, I'll have to be put through crap because they will all say that I wasn't going to go in the first place and that I was lying. I hate when this happens. They didn't believe that I was going to Italy, which I was, but I can't now because dad wants me to go to Denmark instead. And I wasn't believed that I was going to Japan. Dad decided to buy a god forsaking grill instead of that perk for Becca. And now, the biggest mistake I ever made. And I'm going to get crap about this one as well. There's not denying that. So, let me just tell you now, and you know who you are. I really did think I was going to go. And I would have never talked to any one of you ever again without feeling a slightest care in the world about it. But now I'm stuck. Oh lucky me. But just believe me. I really thought I was going. I really did think I would get that scholarship.
So, now that I'm not, Atleast I'll have time to sit and hear tons of crap from mom and dad about how since they thought I was going and had resigned myself to not going to camp or anything else, that they decided to do something else with my money. the money I would have used. OH what greatness and fun this will be. God save me.