final entry anyone else will view from me
isnt she great?
edited from her new york trip with the marching band (my current desktop as has been since around april)
shes so beautiful
hanging around with her friends
goofing around
look at her, shes so happy with him. shes happy with anyone but me. i really never was and never will be good enough to deserve her.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=21094281&Mytoken=20050718155635
this is her myspace account if anyone besides me is interested in just looking at her for hours on end.
well, the fact of the matter is, yep, thats her, the one and only legandary infamous abbey nicole miller. we talk a few minutes each monthish on aim. tell me, how am i supposed to feel? i no longer have a heart, and havent since around id say like november 2003. its been in her possesion, but more likely than not she just kind of threw it out the window and let a few trucks run over it and some dogs shit on it and etc.
she completely destroyed my entire life, but there isnt a single fucking thing she could ever possibly do that would make me love her any less. im not mad at her, i dont hate her, i should, and i dont. i love her with everything that i am, ever fiber of my being, ever cell of my molecular make up. nothing and no one could ever change that. she says it wasnt intentional, everything that happened couldnt have occured unless it was intentional, but do you know what? i believe her. im such a fool to ever have thought i had a chance with such an outstanding e*ample of humanity, a true spectacle of everything good in the world. it still stands JANUARY 1ST 2004 WAS THE MOST MEANINGFUL MOMENT OF MY LIFE. and if any of you stupid ass perverts think im implying i fucked her grow the fuck up. with love comes respect and she has my utmost respect in every manor.
people like to sit and tell me, kyle, things will get better, itll just take a little bit of time. NONE OF THEM GET IT. SHE IS THE ONE, AND ONLY ONE I COULD EVER POSSIBLY LOVE. ive tried my way around the block and found that out for myself. sure i could find someone who treats me better, who might actually care for me, although that in itself is impossible, but it doesnt matter. she is the one, has been the one, and always will be the one. i love her. and without her i am nothing. FUCK ALL OF YOU.
as was stated in the title this is the last entry anyone other than myself will see until my demise unless i get bored and post something public, but that is highly doubtful. in conclusion. fuck this and fuck you.
- kyle
p.s. ive just spent a while looking back on eveyr old journal entry. anyone whos bored take a look at july 19th 2004. third paragraph last sentence. ive also noticed just how much ive changed overall since then. its blatently obvious just in the way i write my entries. all of the earlier entries seem so much different from now, and not just because i bitch and moan and complain all the time now. thats all i wanted to say. you can all go back to fucking yourselves now.