Feelings of Worth

Oct 29, 2010 17:19

I've begun to wonder if I am always going to let the way my father looks at me break my spirit. Will I always feel the pain in my heart when he tells me I will never accomplish anything? Will I have to fight back tears every time he rolls his eyes when I talk about my writing? It's getting so hard to keep doing what I love when I realize I have no support from my family. They all look at me like I'm wasting my life because I'm almost 24 and still haven't published anything I've written. Am I the only person out there who feel like they need just one kind word in order to feel whole? Sometimes I just want to hit my dad for not having faith in me, and sometimes I just want to lock myself away and cry all of my pain out.

Yes, I have my husband who is the most amazing guy in the world. He is supportive and loving and always tells me how much he believes in me. I wish that could be enough. If only I didn't have this heavy feeling in my heart that it doesn't matter because no matter how much I do or how much I succeed it will never be enough.

I don't even know if I really want to write this year for NaNo. Does it matter if I do?
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