(no subject)

[angryfreak_goth]

THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2005:
Crack Found on
Governor's
Daughter
[Imagine that!]?

Something Went
Wrong in Jet
Crash, Expert
Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin
Campaign to Run
Down Jaywalkers
[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of
Debris around
Uranus?
[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]?

Panda Mating
Fails; Veterinarian
Takes Over
[What a guy!]?

Miners Refuse to
Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!]?

Juvenile Court to
Try Shooting
Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]?

War Dims Hope
for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]?

If Strike Isn't
Settled Quickly, It
May Last Awhile
[You think?]?

Cold Wave Linked
to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]

Enfield (London)
Couple Slain;
Police Suspect
Homicide
[They may be on to something!]?

Red Tape Holds
Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]?

Man Struck By
Lightning: Faces
Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]?

New Study of
Obesity Looks for
Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?!]?

Astronaut Takes
Blame for Gas
in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]?

Kids Make
Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]?

Local High School
Dropouts Cut in
Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are
Sued by 7 Foot
Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]?

And the winner
is....

Typhoon Rips
Through
Cemetery;
Hundreds Dead